the coughing is WHAT??

ansata

Okay, this is more of a vent, a funny vent but still a vent. Went to Doctor number three this time. I have had some issues concerning allergy or illness stuff that has had me going into severe coughing fits. Sore throat everything. First doctor gives me two antibiotics. I was out of town during this trip for three weeks. Nope nada nothing worked. So I finally make it home to Doctor number two. Another round of antibiotics again. I would end up coughing so hard that well...I would have small um accidents. Gosh I love aging! So after another rough night of coughing up a storm. I finally called my allergy specialist. Doctor number three. We run down the usual series of questions. I do the asthma test where you blow this thing and then cough your fool head off because its hard to do. and lo' and behold he comes across reflux. HUH???That acid reflux can cause the same TYPE symptoms as allergy problems. OOOHHH KAY so he sends me to have an esophagram (sp) So off I go to the diagnostic center to get the gram done of the old food pipe to see if there is problems.

So for anyone that has never had one done let me describe this for you. Part one remove clothing from the waste up. When doing this be sure to ALWAYS LOCK the restroom door so that little Sally or little Johnny doesn't come in and point up while your removing your sports bra and stare at your hooters and giggle. Part two. Besure to ask which way to wear the gown front or back or well if you are like me ask for two gowns one in the back one in the front so there won't be any openings and we don't have a rerun of little sally or johnny again. Part three be prepared to drink a shot of nasty alka-seltzer in one gulp while its still bubbling. If you have an urge to burp...DON'T burp or you have to drink it again. Part four stand against a -20 degree table holding a cup of watered down chalk in a "yummy" berry flavor. Part five again resist the urge to burp. While holding down a burp hold in mouthful of chalk while doctor tries to find the button to push, when doctor finds button to push swallow mouthful of chalk. Resist the urge to puke. also note to self, DO NOT EAT anything that will set a bit heavy before this procedure. As it will cause a back flow of chalk, alka-seltzer and what ever you ate twelve days ago to tickle your tongue. Part six try not to scramble around to much as the -20 degree table now becomes -40 degrees as it tilts backwards in the reclining mode. Part Seven, Attempt to maneuver boobs so they are completely pinched under your arms, body and comfy rock they call a pillow. When you have reached the point of severe discomfort in a belly down position and your head is tilted to the left or right hold more chalk in your mouth while the doctor finds the right button and cusses because her cell phone rings from her kid getting home from school and wants to go over to neighbors house to play some video game that he/she have played for the last two weeks and came home late. Then finds the button again and says to swallow. Part eight, when table is moved back up hang legs off it for a few minutes, don't just get right up and hit the trail. GIve yourself time to throw up in the back of your mouth again and get your balance back. Give them notice that you will so they can warn others about the pending earthquake of a burp you are about to release. Put clothes on and go home and drink water till you feel bloated and gassy.

Wonder how many calories was in that chalk stuff?

ahoag_83

I'm sorry you had to go through this, but you made me laugh. Very comical! Hope you feel better soon.

misskerouac

That sounds awful!
Glad you have a sense of humor about it!

kayleen_longworth

Hope you get the answers you want. I think I have heard about the coughing and acid reflux before. Sounds vaguely familiar. Hope you recover okay from the procedure.

ansata

Well the test results are confirmed of a hiatal hernia The stomach is trying to push thru the esophagus. He is putting me on meds. Gonna have to make some diet changes too. Tried 10 minutes of Cardio and couldn't stop coughing my head off again. ARGHHHHHH THIS SUCKKSSS

california_peach

I have had a hiatal hernia for most of my life. I've had a couple of those tests. Honestly I'd rather be knocked out and have an upper GI. The meds will help a hiatal hernia or GERD can cause a lot of asthma type symptoms. Hope you feel better soon.

L2M1D52

I've had to drink two large cylinders of that chalk stuff before and not only once but twice. Yikes, so nasty. I ended up throwing a lot of it down the sink and pretended to drink it. Hope you feel better!