How do you deal with negativity?

dawnstrassburg

I have been doing this for three weeks and I have lost nine pounds (my goal is 46.5). I feel great, I have more energy, I feel healthier, my clothes are fitting me better and I find myself happier. Yet today I had a "friend" telling me I could do better, and would if I ate oatmeal (which I can't stand) for breakfast (I usually have a yoplait light), and that i wasnt healthy becuse I eat a lean cusine for lunch. I mean i work 52 hours a week, I am lucky I have the time to heat up the meal and eat it. I eat lean protiens for dinner and include a salad, brown rice, low carb pasta ect. In the evening i have a snack, it may be pretzles, special K cracker chips or a skinny cow ice cream. On weekends my eating habits are less than perfect but i still stick to my calories, fat, carbs ect. I think I am doing pretty good but this so-called-friend really upset me. How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:

Pollywog39

Some FRIEND ya got there :noway: :noway:

That said...........you are doing exceptionally well. 9 lbs in 3 weeks? Hell, it took me 3 months to lose 9 lbs

Forget that stupid friend. Look at what YOU'RE doing........and how it's working, and that you 'find yourself happier'. BE HAPPY....and let the negative nancies spew their crap, as you tune them out and continue on your merry path!

Much Success to you!

_GlaDOS_

I react positively, since I assume she is only trying to help and not trying to be rude –

“Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate that you care about me and my desire to be healthy and lose weight. I’d like to continue doing it the way I have been for now and see how it goes. I am eating food I love and so far I’m doing pretty well!”

Done.

taso42

Most people like that really think they're helping.. Do your own research and figure out whose advice is valid and who is full of crap.

Nic620

You rid yourself of it.

WilliamsPeggy

You're doing great! Ignore your friend.

cmeade20

I usually tell people like that off. Once a know it all is snapped at a few times they usually tend to leave that particular person alone.

FearAnLoathing

I just dont care,in one ear and out the other. Its great to live life not giving a *kitten* what others think.

dolfn1972

I agree...stay positive. Thank her for her advice but this is whats working for you. 9 Lbs in 3 weeks is awesome.

Some people just always think they know what is best for everyone about everything.

Good luck and keep it up ..or down in this case :drinker:

stephevers1227

I agree. "This is working so far, but I'll remember that if I hit a plateau and need to shake things up." I have the friend telling me she'd love to lose weight like I am but she doesn't have time to exercise. Um, I work 2 jobs, husband and daughter, household to run...she's single. You do what works for you and take the rest with a grain of salt.

SueGremlin

My eating habits and weight loss are off limits as a topic of conversation for this very reason. Change the subject and if she persists, tell her you don't want to discuss it.

killagb

Clearly you need to punch her in the face.

anthony438

Meh, ignore her. You're kicking butt, and you know it!

auticus

Oh hi negativity how ya doin? It's time for you to be gone now. Anchor's away! *splash*

Amf5627622

I typically ignore it. If they had good intentions and are sharing what works for them, I don't want to offend them for trying to help me. Or if their intentions are to criticize my choices, I don't want to get into a back and forth with them- there are some crazies on here! You have the results that show your way is working for you. Keep up the great effort!

damonmath

I understand what your friend is saying... but disagree with the approach.

Lean cuisines can make you retain water since they are mostly packed with preservatives like salt. Yoplait light has sugar in it which can be bad first thing in the morning.

Personally, I would follow what works and take the advice for what it is. I generally brush off negativity as I have witnessed positive results myself first hand.

As long as you r calories are in check you will continue to lose.

Music_is_my_soul

Prove your friend wrong. Challenge that person to lose the same amount of weight as you in that short of a time and keep it off... They will find its harder than they think. Or tell your friend that if they knew what they were talking about. Anymore than 3lbs a week is UN HEALTHY. They say that even 2 lbs a week is un healthy. But I feel that its ok to lose 2 - 3 lbs a week safely.

Keep doing what you are doing and forget about what your friend is saying. You are doing this for you! Not them... And you are doing GREAT if you ask me!

LelliAmi

Usually I ask negative people if they wanna play "hide and go *kitten* yourself". They usually keep their crappy opinions to themselves after that.

Qarol

smile and nod

onedayillbamilf

I personally give them a fake half smile as I chuckle in my head at their bad advice. In this case I would be thinking "Bwahahahahahaha! She force feeds herself oatmeal to lose weight and I'm over here eating real food and doing just fine! hehehe."

ronniekh

With a lot of Sarcasm and "kill 'em with kindness" remarks. I almost have it down to a science! When people give me crap about losing weight, I simply look them up and down like they shouldn't say anything at all, look them in the eye and say well you don't understand you're already so pretty but with so much attitude they know that I want to punch them in the face! We're stronger because we're motivated!

Mera_Mera

I don't see it as 'being negative'. I think she/he just made a suggestion. Just take it like a grain of salt. If you feel that you are doing all right, then, just nod off to her/his comment and continue doing what you are doing.

I usually ignore negative comments. I do refrain from being offensive, since I don't like to be all in people's face. I take the positive out of the negative and strive to prove to that person in particular that I'm doing this for me!

But in my opinion, it seems to me that you are doing great. Eat more fruits in the morning, instead of a Yoplait. They aren't as healthy as you might think. But again, you've lost 9 lbs in three weeks! That's amazing! I'm happy for you! Continue doing what's good for you! May you reach all your goals!

bricktowngal

I think you are doing great. This so-called friend, isn't much of a friend if you ask me. She/he should be applauding your weight loss not telling you what you are doing wrong (in their mind). Is this friend "smaller" than you? Is she/he a weight loss expert? Is she/he maybe jealous of you and your success? Tell them, you like what you see, you are seeing results and thank you for your hmmm opinion, but keep it to yourself.

At least that's what I would say.

Keep up the good work!

MrsMuffinRun

Never complain, never explain! Just say, thanks I just feel so much better for losing some weight.

steffiejoe

Sounds like she is only trying to be helpful. If she did not care she would just sit back and watch you eat the wrong things. Not that what you are eating is bad or anything. She just suggested some healthier options.

NewTeena

It's possible your friend thinks she's being supportive by giving you ideas on how to lose more. Have a talk with her and let her know that you would find it better that she would celebrate your small successes with you. I had to do something similar with my mom a few years ago and she has since changed.

Shabnam222

oh man I had a boss that was like this. She was probably 150 lbs overweight and I don't think she could stand me making better choices. She told me the opposite- that oatmeal is what wrestlers use to get big and yeah my smart ones had too much sodium. i would just say something like 'it's working for me!!'

chevy88grl

Most people like that really think they're helping.. Do your own research and figure out whose advice is valid and who is full of crap.

This.

Different things work for different people and while those things may have helped that person... it doesn't mean they'll help you too. Figure out what works for you and toss the rest of it away.

Sidesteal

Yoplait light has sugar in it which can be bad first thing in the morning.

Why would sugar be bad in the morning?

serenity216

Agreed! Frenemies are a waste of time!

You're doing great! Ignore your friend.

jean1058

How does everyone else deal with neagativity? :sad:

Stick your tongue out at her..... do the "end zone dance" and know that she is JEALOUS. Keep doing what you are doing YOUR way and ignore her. YOU are actually doing something for yourself and she isn't, so how the heck could she possibly know what works for you? :noway: Heck, what works for you might not work for me or anyone else, so who is she to rain on your parade?

I say let it go in one ear and out the other. I still kinda like sticking my tongue out when they aren't looking. :laugh:

Here's to you & your progress! You GO! :flowerforyou: