How much feedback do you really want on your food diary?

vzucco

Everyone is on different diets and seeking different kinds of support from their friends, so I wonder, how much feedback do you really want on your food diary? If you have a cheat day do you want to be called out? If you are staying within calorie goals but not getting any vegetables, do you want to hear it?

I like to read about nutrition and sometimes going through people's diaries, it concerns me that they may be losing weight in unhealthy ways. But how do you tell someone that they are not making the best choices without offending or alienating?

SeaSiren1

I don't offer if they don't ask. But I also don't give them a "great job" either. For me, anyone doing Eat to Live is welcome to comment on my diary. I would encourage feedback in regards to recipes and varying food choices.

budgetqueen79

Me personally I don't offer unless they ask. The reason is everyone's body is different. If you see my diary on some days you might pass out or not LOL! Most people say you should eat fruit but I am allergic to all fruit except pomergranate. I'm talking hives, swelling the whole nine so to not have to keep explaining myself over and over I just keep it on private. I mostly eat 3 or 4 different kind of veggies also b/c of the same reason.

Most people are overwhelmed as it is starting out so when they feel they are getting picked apart on their eating that may just push them over the edge. So when some don't say anything it's not lack of support it's just letting ones find there own way.

GurleyGirl524

I like constructive criticism, it helps me make adjustments. If I have a "cheat day" or "cheat meal" I will either add a note to my diary or comment on it myself.

doornumber03

if they aren't asking or complaining they aren't losing etc.....I don't say a word.....no need to. Most people here know when they make a bad choice and don't need to be called out on it too by their friends. Now if they ask for advice or say i'm not losing weight and i don't know why......then i give my 2 cents.

Punkedpoetess

I don't offer if they don't ask. But I also don't give them a "great job" either.

^^^ This. I also will unfriend people who consistently undereat on a regular basis. If you are really concerned, you could message them privately in a nice way about their diary. I wouldn't do a public message about their diary. Personally I don't mind constructive criticism when I am screwing up as long as the person isn't mean about it.

Sidesteal

Outside of asking questions about foods so that I can learn (such as "Hey where do you get those?"), then I don't criticize unless I'm asked, for the most part.

tangal88

Outside of asking questions about foods so that I can learn (such as "Hey where do you get those?"), then I don't criticize unless I'm asked, for the most part.

same as above

Captain_Tightpants

Mine is wide open to criticism. Particularly subsitution suggestions. Friend me and tear me a new one.

iuangina

I don't really care what other people have to say if it's nasty. I have days where I go over by 100 calories. I don't need to be critized for going over. I'm well aware that I'm going over and most of the time it's done on purpose (i.e., cheat day, cheat meal, feeling like I need extra calories). I think it depends on who your friends are and what they are asking for when you make comments about their diary. Most of the time I don't comment unless someone asks me to.

vzucco

Mine is wide open to criticism. Particularly subsitution suggestions. Friend me and tear me a new one.

Friend request sent! lol I don't want to tear anyone a new one though. My policy is pretty much what everyone else has been saying, if people ask I comment, if I notice that they're doing awesome and eating clean I am their cheerleader. If they have a bad day and are feeling discouraged about it, I just tell them that tomorrow is a new chance to make the right choices.

And I think it's an excellent idea to send someone a gently worded private message if you are concerned about their health.

myltlisa24

Personally, I like to have someone suggest other stuff - because to me, I think I am doing the best I can; however, I like to hear what about works for other people! Yes, there are days, when I go waay over, and there are days when I don't get enough, but I will call myself on it, like many other MFP friends. But this is what i am here for, to get advice, but not to get rude..if that makes sense. I am here, to see how other people lose the weight..so I look for others to provide suggestions on my diet!

mattkellett

everyone has different goals and different ideas on how to get themselves there. As a trainer and ex athlete, I am shocked at how little people know about nutrition. No fault of thier own, I know there is a tonne of information out there, and what to trust is a big issue. you need to ask yourself how serious you are going to take your nutrition, is this a diet, is it a change in your lifestyle?, etc...

I will help anyone and everyone, becuase it is truly what I love to do, I could talk about it all day (wait a second I ussually do), thats why I am so lucky to be in the profesion I am.

I woud love comments and questions surroundng my nutrition, having someobne look at it keeps me accountable, and we ALL need that.

PepeGreggerton

This is something that is frustrating to me and has me considering closing my diary. I intermittently fast and get a lot of people repeatedly telling me to eat more on the days that I do. Which isn't in it's self a big deal. I'm just sick of explaining and defending it. It's my lifestyle choice and I eat plenty the other 5 days a week.

Articeluvsmemphis

people are offended if you tell them the truth, with that being said, I usually wait a while and I say something when I see a post like this.

"I'm tired of dieting, I see no point of starving myself because I have not loss any weight in two weeks"

me: *checks diary*

you're eating 900/1000calories a day?:grumble:

me: advice given, eat more, ways to eat more, advice on moving more

simple

myak623

I leave mine open so that people can critique my food choices. I have no problem with someone telling me to stop eating this or eat more of that.

docsallen

If I ask for feedback/opinions/criticism/suggestions, then be as brutally honest as you would like.
If I am doing something blatantly wrong and complaining that I am not losing enough weight, etc., then I would appreciate it if you would let me know.
If someone is randomly searching and reads my diary, then if you feel that you have some helpful suggestions, offer a couple of them nicely.

tenoclockbird

I like feedback if it's honest and gentle, and given in the spirit of helping. My journal is open to friends and I'd love to have some more opinions, so send me a friend request! I think I finally have enough history to see my own patterns, so anybody who wants to friend me and have a look, I welcome suggestions. I particularly would love more suggestions on keeping my protein and fiber intakes high without adding carbs and calories.

Bird

LabRat529

For me, it depends on who they are, what they're telling me, and how often they're telling it to me.

Example of something "okay" (this actually happened): A recent new friend suggested I really focus more on eating my macros and that I maybe not add back my exercise calories. He gave me this advice because I was whining about not losing weight. I totally appreciated his advice and his approach. I was not offended at all, because he was respectful, and more importantly, his advice was smart and reasonable. I may or may not follow his advice- my problem right now is will power and not knowledge- but he was still cool for giving me the suggestion and I was grateful.

Example of something not "okay" (this has never happened): Someone might look at my diary and see that I occasionally eat hot dogs, Burger King, and drink soda (yes, I even drink the kind with sugar in it). If they were to say "you really need to start eating clean", I'd ignore them. I have no desire to eat clean. This diet game is hard enough without me making it harder for myself by insisting I eat nothing but organic protein, carbs, and fats. Here's the thing though- I wouldn't be mad about the advice. I'd just ignore it. I'd only get mad if they kept hounding me on it.

So... I guess the moral of the story for me is, if you're going to critique my food diary, go for it! If it's smart advice, I'll try to follow it to the best of my ability. If it's not for me... well it's just not for me and I expect people to accept that and move on.

vs1023

I leave mine open so that people can critique my food choices. I have no problem with someone telling me to stop eating this or eat more of that.

Same. I'm not perfect, but if there are ways to be better I'd love suggestions!

ItsMeRebekah

I like feedback if it's honest and gentle, and given in the spirit of helping.

This!! Mine is open but dont beat me up please! Nobody is perfect.

FrankWorsley

Feedback and accountability are the main reasons why I'm here. I've learned so much from all my awesome friends. My goal is long-term health, not weight loss or getting a six pack. Take a look and tell me what you think! Brutal honesty is appreciated.

DixiedoesMFP

I like feedback. Good or bad. I have had some very helpful suggestions on this site. I also am not the type of person that is easily offended.

When I offer feedback, I only do so in a positive way. Like "Wow, that looks yummy" or "How do you make such and such?" or "I like those too." That way they know I cared enough to look but I'm not bashing any of their decisions. Some of my MFP friends I "know" well enough to know that they are aiming for certain goals in their diaries, like more protein, and I will specifically comment about that.

UnderCoverShyGirl

Maybe it's a defense mechanism i have yet to figure out, but i get perturbed when someone criticizes my food diary.Kinda like: "I'm 43 years old and quite smart thank you, yes I know i did not get enough protien today, or i indulged in something, etc. I really don't need you to type it out for me."It's like seeing a long unseen relative and they say "you've gained a lot of weight"...what is that comment for? You have a mirror, you buy clothes...you probably know you've gained weight. The remark serves no purpose but to point out a negative, that is obvious even.

Now if you see i like a certain food, and know a good alternative, great; or if you know how to constructively criticize without being offensive, like "I'm working on getting my protien up too" or "isn't it difficult to keep sodium down? Here's a link to a great site i found with low sodium foods"...then i am fine with it and totally appreciate the support!

Now of course i do not expect people to pat me on the back or say great job when i've flubbed up either. Again, we can all see my misstep, no need to tiptoe, you can even jokingly rib me, again with tact!

I look at diaries to get ideas for myself, not to judge anyone else, i would provide support whether or not a diary is public by giving encouraging comments when i can or when i see someone that really deserves it because they are so great in any way. Now if I or someone else asks or indicates that they want criticism, ideas, comments, etc...on their diary, that's all good too. I just don't like blatant criticism, i think it's rude.

I think my main reasoning is just that everyone has a different journey. We don't know the reasonings of why they eat what they eat, some people lose weight eating junk, some are focusing on low carb, some on protien, salt, whatever....so it just seems odd that anyone would try to advise you when a)its not asked for, b)they are in the same boat (i.e., overweight or working on a physical goal of some sort, thus not experts (primarily, we do have some experts here, that is a different matter ;-), c)no one knows your journey.

I think if you feel strongly about the type of support you want/need, it is probably a good idea to post it to your profile - i've seen some do that, whether it's a "if you want to friend me, please write me an email too" or whatever. Something to think about.

That all sounds grumpy, but i hope you know what i mean. Now i need some morning coffee lol

myltlisa24

Same! I have cheat days, some times, only when needed, but not a lot!

mommymeg2

I am always open to constructive feedback about my eating. (hint hint ) Actually, I love it!

runlaugheatpie

I would have no problem if people looked and commented or even criticised.
most of my foods are in Dutch though so I get a lot of "I have no idea what you ate" - I even wouldn't mind translating!

I'm not perfect and have never pretended that I am. If you are defensive about your food choices and your lifestyle then maybe there is something to explain or change?

tseecka

Personally, I'd be looking for feedback on my nutrition. I know I often have "crap" in my diary--a couple candies here and there, because I'm a compulsive/bored snacker and EVERYONE around me at work has candy all the time. But I do make an effort to make sure everything else that I'm putting in my body is good for me, and that's what I'd be looking for feedback on. I know candy is crap, I know I shouldn't be eating it--I don't need someone else to tell me that part.

Hoosier_born

I don't offer if they don't ask. But I also don't give them a "great job" either. For me, anyone doing Eat to Live is welcome to comment on my diary. I would encourage feedback in regards to recipes and varying food choices.

this!

CannibalisticVegetarian

If they don't ask, I won't say. I'm not out to be nit-picky about other people's diaries, considering I don't know just what they are going through that particular day. Hey, it could be a cheat day, and if I grill them about it then I'll either get cussed or reminded, and thus will feel silly for even opening my mouth.

As for people coming my way, i don't mind it. I look forward to it actually. I'm constantly worried about whether I'm doing a good job or not.

KYMUSE

I'm not much on the idea of commenting on a diary entry, because many times there is more to the story than the four or five words on that meal. Example: I'm having a terrible time getting enough calories in...one could easily look at my diary and say "you aren't eating enough" (which, is kind of easy for me to see:) But there's a medical reason why. Someone might have had a really bad couple of days with their diet, but could be going through a personal situation that makes them lean towards food. I think suggestions on different types of foods you might try would be great-but to have a stranger comment on how worried they are about my health? Sorry, just not for me. If others want that, I think that is great!