About men

icandoit

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.
______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a
couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find
exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding
a calculator..... (applies to engineers mainly).
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have
to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you
are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least
remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes
is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.

icandoit

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.
______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a
couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find
exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding
a calculator..... (applies to engineers mainly).
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have
to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you
are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least
remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes
is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.

flachix

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: EXACTLY RIGHT:drinker:

charny164

OMG. I don't know if I have ever laughed so hard. That totally describes my hubby. Especially the looking for the remote and settling for the calculator. :laugh:

Thanks for the good laugh. I sure needed it!

Charlene :drinker:

His_Kelly

True That!!! This made my day!

diannholland1965

I forwarded it on, That was to funny not to.
--Diann...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

NJBeachgirl

:laugh: That was too funny, and all too true of men. I emailed it to my husband, in case he forgot what he is like, he could read it to remind himself of his manly hood. lol

markfloyd

Funny you say? :laugh: Paragraphs 7, 8, 9, 10 are accurate!!! :happy: The rest is garbage.