At a loss of how to start?

krbn2

I know a few people who are very overweight and seem to be in complete denial about weight loss. I think they know they are overweight--but they talk as if weight loss is impossible. I hear from a lot of people, "I really don't eat that much," but I've seen their serving sizes and I know they're bigger than they should be. I also hear, "I tried doing x exercise for a week and I didn't lose a single pound," in which x is way too little activity to possibly burn 3500 calories in a week.

I feel like I know where they're going wrong: I know nobody's sitting down and eating a whole turkey by themselves, and that it's a much more subtle portion size increase that's the problem. And I know how hard it is to burn 3500 calories in a week--in fact, I think it's impossible for me to do that at my current level of fitness--and that exercise alone for someone with a low level of fitness is going to result in a much lower rate of weight loss than 1lb/week.

I want to tell people what I know--and how I know they're going wrong. But I'm not really sure what's the best way to go about it? Should I provide tough love by telling them they're Wrong? Or is there a way to guide people in a more gentle way? I don't want to hurt people's feelings and make them feel like their previous efforts were stupid, but I do want to tell them why their previous efforts were ineffective. I know there's another option--that it's none of my business--but assuming it is my business, what would be the best thing to say to someone who has no idea what a healthy diet or exercise pattern looks like?

christine24t

I think you can make comments about exercise, but if you make a comment about food when the person is eating, that's insensitive. I think later, when you're not eating, you could make a comment like "i saw this article on yahoo today, and it said that X food is X calories! Can you believe that?" You have to be nonthreatening and not judging them.

Pughey

Yes I was thinking along those lines. Put the thought in their head without obviously aiming it at them. The article idea is good, or "guess what I saw on MFP this morning.......". Name drop MFP and it might encourage them to have a sneaky look and get some more ideas and encouragement.

krbn2

There's really no one I want to *start* this conversation with, I've just found myself in multiple conversations recently where people are explaining to me why they can't lose weight. I just feel weird when people say something like, "The calories in/calories out deal can't be true because I tried [inadequate exercise] and ate [food that seems healthy but has hidden calories] and it didn't work, so therefore I'm going to be in this scooter forever," because if I say nothing, they might think that it's inarguably true and give up and actually live the rest of their life completely disabled by weight, and if I diminish their efforts I might make them feel bad. I just don't know which one is worse. So far I haven't argued with people, but I feel like my inaction is harmful, just like making someone feel bad would be.

ETA: I don't mean to say I have alllllll of this knowledge about weight loss (clearly, by my ticker, I don't) and other people deserve to have it shared with them any random time, it's just that people will say something that I happen to know is wrong, and I'm not sure how to tell them.