To all the men out there.....

allisshiney

How do I motivate my fiancé to be more active?

I love him dearly but his lack of motivation is driving me nuts. I'm training for a 30k and a 21.1k and spends his free time drinking beer and playing video games. He can be more active in the summer but not consistently.

Unfortunetly for me as much as I run and try to eat well, his bad habits can easily rub off on me. I lack will power when he brings bad food into the house.

Suggestion for me and him would be appreciated.

Coltsman4ever

Unfortunately, he's the only one who can decide he wants to be more active. If you push too hard you'll just create animosity between the 2 of you.

rml_16

I would ask him to hide the "bad" food he brings in the house so you don't know where it is and can exercise your willpower a little better.

I'm not a guy, but I am human and can tell you that no one will motivate me to do anything unless it's something I already want to do.

Although ... Is there a sport he likes? A friend of mine invited the BF and me to join a co-ed softball team with her and we're going to do that together, which is active. I can't get him to go running or anything with me except once in a blue moon, but he likes softball.

ItsMeRebekah

I asked mine to do it to spend time together.. that worked!

UponThisRock

lead by example

achief192

lead by example

Beat me to it. All you can do is lead by example. He will either follow, or be left behind.

koosdel

Have you tried constant nagging?

therealangd

You can only keep doing what you are doing. Keep working out. Keep eating well. Continue with your healthy lifestyle. That's motivation enough. If he wants to change he will.

NatalieBrooke88

Have you tried constant nagging?

Yeah, I try that with my boyfriend and shockingly it DOESNT work. I am not taking the path of least resistance and not saying a thing.

cramernh

I asked my husband how he would feel if I were trying to push him into exercise, and such.

He looked at me and said "Ill get off my *kitten* when Im good and ready. The last thing I need to hear from my wife - the person whose supposed to love me unconditionally is that I need to lose weight... Ill let my doctor advise me of that"...


To be honest with you, no one has the right to dictate the foods our spouse eats if its outside the meals we make.

Im fortunate that my husband eats everything I make - he loves the dishes I create... but he also loves his fried chicken, his 'garbage' pizza (every topping except anchovy), his soda, his beer.... He is 6'6" and is about 295lbs - his doctor isnt too worried about him right now as his job is very active when he is at the plant loading and unloading his tractor trailer... My husband is, by medical definition, healthy as a horse... if he werent, its stll not my place to try to motivate him... that would make him resent me.... and I love my husband unconditionally.....no strings attached, ever!

Im not about to tell him he has to stop eating the foods he loves because that would be wrong. I do very well if they are in the home.... the majority of what he consumes, I have too many food related allergies and sensitivities - so there 0% chance of my having it....

Im on the weight-loss journey for myself.... and no one else. When my husband is ready, he has to be ready of his own free will... just like your fiance. He is the only one that has to 'want' this for himself....

BaconMD

My wife got healthy many years ago, and she didn't pester me about eating crap food all the time. I eventually came around, and now I am on track. She recently told me that she used to cry when I wasn't around, because she feared I would die young of a heart attack. I had no idea. I am getting healthy not only for me, but for her.

I had to come to it on my own. If she had pressed the issue, it probably would have hindered rather than helped.

When I look at her body and then look at mine, they don't match up. She deserves better... It made me feel guilty for a long time, and that got really annoying. I had to do something.

And I had a doctor tell me I needed to lose 50lbs. To do so, he stressed that I HAD to join a gym. "You'll never do it at home. I can't stress this enough, you have to join a gym and go." I wanted to prove him wrong. And I did.

Of course, being out of breath going up one small set of steps in my house really helped push me, too...

If you currently cook for him, refuse to make unhealthy meals. If you don't currently cook for him, offer to make a meal a week (or whatever) and make it really healthy, and really tasty. It can be done. My wife sometimes made amazing food that I wouldn't believe was possibly good for you (at the time).

You know, I don't really have any good advice. Hopefully he wakes up some day and realizes what he's doing to himself, and if he really thinks about it, he'll change because he loves you and wants to live a long life with you. In the meantime, you'll have to work on your own willpower. If you can't resist something, you can't expect him to either. It's tough, I know, but I haven't touched a Wendy's burger in 9 months, so I think if I can do that, anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it.

allisshiney

Great advice everyone. Thank you for the support.

ironanimal

Offer sex.

duharvalgt

Maybe this?

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/bjohs/view/sex-weight-loss-117390