boys boys... (dating)

speedyf

Have confidence in yourself AND in your judgement, and make YOUR choice. It's YOUR life that we are talking about here, and nobody else's. I know that this is not an easy decision to make, but let your heart speak.

I know what you're going through and that things are very different when kids are in the picture. When I took my decision, I knew it was the right one.

You don't owe anything to anybody. But you owe to yourself to be happy.

Wish you the best! You deserve it.

adjones5

The best recommendation I can make is to avoid men at all costs. Its gotten me very far in life.

Swanson83

I agree with almost all the post on here. You have posted this question obviously your current relationship isn't where you'd like it to be, you see something in #2 that you are looking for.

If you are questioning which one is the better choice then you chose what is best for you if you are asking because you can't decide because neither is what you want, then maybe like another person said neither are best for you. And you need to take a break from and relationships and just stick with friendships for a while.

bigdawg025

Many reasons to keep boy 2 and ditch boy 1... my #1 reason may be a surprise to you, though, and it may not. Being someone who is passionate about psychology... you are in a completely CODEPENDENT relationship with boy 1 whether you know it or not. It's comepletely unhealthy for you. It's a classic "caregiver/patient"-like situation. You enjoy "taking care of him"... was the dead giveaway. The guy is a loser... from your description of him anyway (I cannot say for sure because I only know what's in this post). Also... basically dying twice, being extremely obese, and wearing a pacemaker aren't things that might suggest there is much of a future there.

You seem to have A LOT in common with boy 2... and these all seem to be POSITIVE things. I can see this one being a very healthy relationship for both of you and your children as well. Just from the way you've described both of them... boy 2 far outshines boy 1 and treats you and your kids very well. What does boy 1 do in regards to your children, if anything at all???

XXXMinnieXXX

I'm Team 2!!

As for the boyfriend, what can I say??? For having his life given back to him and to choose to spend it like that is a slap in the face of God! I understand that sometimes we get into a rut and feel sorry for ourselves, but don't bring others down with you.

You are not responsible for his health or his happiness, only yours. This seems like a toxic relationship to me.

This! X

dbrightwell1270

Do what ever makes you happy. It's pretty clear from the way you wrote the descriptions which one you prefer. If you really think you aren't sure then flip a coin. While it's in the air you'll know which outcome you're hoping to see.

alex215

lavaflow99

I am for Team 2 as well!! Boy #1 isn't offering anything into your life and you are too young to be weighed down. You got to live your life too....even though it may seem harsh or mean to him.

XXXMinnieXXX

wow... thanks for the overwhelming response. i think yeah i should go ahead w boy number 2. i just now gotta decide how/when to talk to boy 1 and get past all of this... i know many have commented on his behavior and all... he is a good person and when we are together we have a great time.. but he needs me and i don't need him... we've come past a point of being committed... and if he were my husband most people would say different... that the relationship is about not walking away from each other when the support is most needed... when i say the man is sick... i mean sick... like a lot of bathroom issues, difficulty breathing, ect... it's not guilt i feel...it's love. tossing him to the side because he's a dying man who can't fulfill certain needs in my life seems like a kick in the face... especially because i've known from the beginning that getting serious with him would certainly mean that some things i would never be able to do because he simply can't... we've had that talk so many times and he's been left several times over for the same thing... because people don't understand that he just can't... my heart breaks. i'm basically someone who committed into a difficult relationship and now pretty much cheated and am going to dump him off to fend for himself so i can move on with life... kinda makes me sound like a jerk.

for those who asked what he did before me... well before me it had been a long time since his first medical "death" and pacemaker... he had the second right before we met.. which put him out of work for over 2 months and sank him in medical debt... now he's only living to keep lights on, stay in his apt and pay for the crap they did to keep him alive... leaving him with a life that's barely livable... before that happened he was doing well for himself on his own...

Still boy 2 x

kaytedawg05

Couple of points:

1. Weigh the pros and cons of staying with the boyfriend in light of where you see yourself both now and in the future.

2. Determine your current "role" in the relationship (caretaker? girlfriend? soul mate?) and ask yourself are you willing to remain in that role for the foreseeable future?

3. Can you imagine being a widow (Not being crude, but something to think about)?

If you do decide to go to Boy #2, you need to:

1. Finish correctly, i.e. break up with boyfriend in a way that's honest, forthright and with sensitivity.

2. Allow a good deal of time to pass before you transition over to the other guy. Breathe and be "unattached" for a minute. Do some introspection.

3. Weigh the pros and cons for and against the new relationship.

All the Best!

some wise words thank you.