YOU THINK YOURE FUNNY?

CHEFCH♥ZZ
CHEFCH♥ZZ Posts: 127
in Chit-Chat
im so damn bored! jokes??? lets hear 'em......

Replies

  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
    What kind of bees make milk?



    BOOOOO BEESSSS

    Also, if you need to laugh:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/462775-i-can-t-even
  • CHEFCH♥ZZ
    CHEFCH♥ZZ Posts: 127
    mine are totally filthy!! ill have to pm you.

    but that was funny...
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    *you're

    Because grammar Nazis are hilarious!
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    guy walks into a bar... says ouch

    two guys walk into a bar.. the third ducked

    a blond a brunette and red head walk into a bar.. the bartender looks up and say 'what is this, some kind of joke"
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I am soooo fat that.....

    When I dance I make the band skip.

    My cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

    When I go to the zoo the elephants throw me peanuts.

    My graduation picture was a aerial photograph.

    I have a phobia .. of the life fitness treadmill at home.

    My driver’s license says picture continued on other side.

    When I ran away they had to use all 4 sides of the milk carton.

    When I get in an elevator it HAS to go DOWN!

    Instead of a silver spoon, I was born with a silver shovel in my mouth.

    They have to grease the door frames and put a Twinkie on the other side to get me through.

    I could become rich and sell shade.

    My belly button doesn’t have lint — it has sweaters.

    That's how fat I am!:drinker:
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
    :laugh:
    What kind of bees make milk?



    BOOOOO BEESSSS

    Also, if you need to laugh:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/462775-i-can-t-even
  • nicholem1980
    nicholem1980 Posts: 4
    omg that is hilarious stuff!! Thanks for sharing :laugh:
  • Jamie145
    Jamie145 Posts: 164 Member
    Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
    A. A navel.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    A baby seal walks into a club...
  • chelleymarie88
    chelleymarie88 Posts: 775
    A baby seal walks into a club...

    Too soon
  • CHEFCH♥ZZ
    CHEFCH♥ZZ Posts: 127
    what do you call nuts on your wall?? WALNUTS
    what do you call nuts on your chest?? CHESTNUTS

    what do you call nuts on your chin?? A D**K IN YOURE MOUTH!:tongue::laugh:
  • Jamie145
    Jamie145 Posts: 164 Member
    These two guys (we'll call them Jake and Paul) really waited a few drinks but didn't have enough money.
    "I have an idea!" says Paul. He takes the money, runs into a supermarket and comes out with a sausage.
    "Okay here's the plan. We'll go into a bar, order a few drinks and when the bartender asks for the money, I'll pull this sausage out of you pants and suck." Jake wasn't sure. "Trust me it will work." Paul reassured so Jake puts the sausage in his pants.
    So they go into a bar, order some drinks and down them. When the bartender asked the money, Paul kneels down, unzips Jake's fly and starts sucking on the sausage.
    "You sick b@stards! GET OUT OF MY BAR!" yells the bartender. So they get thrown out. "See it worked!" says Paul. So they walk into several bars and do this for the whole night. At midnight, Paul falls on the ground. "Man, my knees are killing me!"
    "You think that bad?" says Jake. "I lost the sausge at the second bar."
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    A baby seal walks into a club...

    Too soon
    I don't know why but I actually LOL'd at that. Thanks
  • CHEFCH♥ZZ
    CHEFCH♥ZZ Posts: 127
    These two guys (we'll call them Jake and Paul) really waited a few drinks but didn't have enough money.
    "I have an idea!" says Paul. He takes the money, runs into a supermarket and comes out with a sausage.
    "Okay here's the plan. We'll go into a bar, order a few drinks and when the bartender asks for the money, I'll pull this sausage out of you pants and suck." Jake wasn't sure. "Trust me it will work." Paul reassured so Jake puts the sausage in his pants.
    So they go into a bar, order some drinks and down them. When the bartender asked the money, Paul kneels down, unzips Jake's fly and starts sucking on the sausage.
    "You sick b@stards! GET OUT OF MY BAR!" yells the bartender. So they get thrown out. "See it worked!" says Paul. So they walk into several bars and do this for the whole night. At midnight, Paul falls on the ground. "Man, my knees are killing me!"
    "You think that bad?" says Jake. "I lost the sausge at the second bar."

    LMFAO!!! YESSSS!
  • Jamie145
    Jamie145 Posts: 164 Member
    Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
  • Jamie145
    Jamie145 Posts: 164 Member
    i bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough.....


    ahahaha so lame .

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