Dating, during weightloss

Kris0109

Having embarked on my first real foray into the "dating" scene in a while after (too) many years with a jerk, I'm coming up with some issues. Someone, help.

1. When do you bring up "oh, yea, sure I lost 68 lbs in the last year"?
2. When do you bring up "oh, and I'm not done"?

3. Most importantly, how do you learn to take compliments? Especially when it seems like he takes the things about your body that bug you most and says the most endearing bull****? And how do you stop thinking about it as bull****?

Martucha123

1. Don't see why you should bring that up on the first date. Bring it iup if you ever talk about diets.
2. Same here
if you don't eat some specific food, and you go to restaurant, then it's the right moment, say you are on diet, no details unless he asks.

3. He is dating you so he finds you atractive.
YES there are people who find you atractive, beautifull even. LIVE WITH IT!


btw, can't see your face on pics but your body is allright! wouldn't say you have 55lbs to go if you'd ask me.

tonialeem

any time is a good time.....you've worked really hard at this you shouldn't shy away from what you've acheived I think it shows amazing strength and commitment.

3. that's a mental game you're playing with yourself..when people say things you have to beleive they truly mean it...when you start to beleive it you won't smell BS anymore. it's hard to take a compliment as being sincere some times

I hope your dating life is exciting and you meet someone AMAZING

jr1985

Are you talking about like meeting someone for the first time type of thing, like from the internet or a blind date when you haven't actually met them in person yet? Or someone that you've already been on a few dates with?

I"m self conscious about that too if I'm meeting someone for the first time in person too if I've met them online or through a friend etc... How do you bring up. "yeah I'm not at my ideal weight but I'm working on it" Or do you just post full body pics and let them decide... Fortunately I've never been treated rudely on a first date/meeting because of my weight... but I've heard some horror stories about how people's dates have taken one look at them, found out they were overweight, and just got up and left before the date started... A part of me is always a little afraid of this the first time I meet someone...

But after you have already been out with them a few times... I figure they know what I look like, and if they want to keep going out with me anyways, then they must at least be ok with me where I am now.

Taking compliments... that can be a tricky part.

Best of luck to you!

Kris0109

We're 4 weeks in. There's been naked time. He's just so earnest about stuff, ie we were on an "adventure" last weekend where we ended up playing pool in this hole in the wall bar. I was wearing the equivalent of gym pants and a hoodie and I was playing horrendously and said so. His response: "But you look damn good doing it, baby". One example of many that I have a hard time swallowing.

JimieLou

I, too, am in the midst of a similar situation.
Over the past year I've lost a significant amount of weight. My lifestyle change was started as a result of a horrible breakup...actually two horrible breakups in 3 years. Anyways, since I've lost this weight, I've had guys I've known for quite sometime who want to take me out on a date, etc. I'm never mean to them when I politely decline. But my thoughts are this..."If you didn't want to date me when I was fat, then you don't deserve me now!"
That brings me up to the present. There is a guy who really truly likes me and has expressed his interest in dating me. We met a couple of months ago so he never really knew me "before."
However, I'm not done yet. He knows I workout on a regular basis, but I don't think he realizes that I'm still in the process of losing a lot more weight. He compliments me all the time and it bugs me. However, I don't let it show...because deep down, him complimenting me helps me to realize that I still have a VERY distorted view of my body.
I don't really know if I will ever tell him that I'm trying to lose a lot more weight unless he sees a "before" picture and brings it up. I guess I will cross that bridge when we get there. However, in the meantime, I'm enjoying be pursued by someone who's not a jerk and someone who I know isn't after me because of my body ((trust me, it's not that great...but I'm assuming that's what the previously mentioned guys were after))
If he ends up liking me for everything I am, then and only then will I tell him about the weight.

Adrenaline_Queen

Just be you............. You dont need to bring anything up.. The past is the past.. Let is stay there...

The present is a gift... It is the now.. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

If a question is asked they say......... But be you............ xx Good luck in what ever you choose.....

I have been single for years, and am looking forward to my ripped body (I will get there) when I do get it, I dont think I will say about what I used to look like....... Mind you, I might, but that would be for benefiting purpose, like to show someone it can be done, look I did have weight look at me now xx Hugs and I bet I have gone off on a tangent again xxxxxxxxxxxx Hugs x

dwtouch4

Take the compliments. He cares for you and has an interest in making you feel good about yourself. He may be aware of your negative self image and is working to counteract that. Sounds like you've got a caring thoughtful guy. Everyone is different and different things look good to different people. I know a person who thought Pee-Wee Herman was cute.