Ick. In need of more support. :/

Jessastar

Hey Everyone, (: so far, it's pretty much 10 days since I started working out.. Never in my life have I been so motivated to do something for so long. Normally, I'd do it for 5 days, quit and never look again and find a reason to start back 6-9 months later..

I struggle with depression & anxiety, and when I get frustrated I tend to over-eat or splurge .

I lost 11 lbs, but I lack any more support from other people. My immediate family completely opposes me from working out, and doesn't even buy the better foods. (as in, the main grocery shopper(s) buy pizza, 8 2 liters of soda, along with other things that are HIGH in fat and calories. And the only appealing meal to them is anything deep fried..)

So far, since my weight loss, it hasn't looked appealing to me. Nothing has. but now since it's happening over and over.. I struggle to actually want soda instead of water, to eat deep fried stuff instead of something else. My mother especially is the worst one, since she disagrees entirely about my weight loss. Partially because she's insecure about herself and she had a gastric bypass, and said she was better off being who she used to be (about 400 lbs)

My Italian side, also believes I shouldn't lose weight. Ironically, I'm the skinniest person in my family. (I weigh about 260 with a 22 size jean fit) And my Nonna thinks I'm already "too skinny" and yells at me any chance she gets..

My also other main issue is I am engaged to someone who loves my body the way it is. But he doesn't understand that I hate it. No matter how much I tell him I hate my body, he tells me I shouldn't lose ANY weight because I'm perfect the way I am.

I don't listen to him because he's not the one who lives in my body.. yeah, he may be looking at it everyday, but it's one thing to look at it and another to actually be in it. I'm tired of getting gawked at about my weight and he doesn't understand why it bothers me that I'm compared as a "whale" when we walk around together. And when I workout, I HATE to be disturbed, and if I am, I completely stop what I'm doing because I'm too embarrassed and he happens to check on me every 10 minutes. The only one that's pretty much motivating me is myself and my little friends on MFP, but it's not enough for me.. I feel as though I'm not strong enough. Especially given the situation.


Should I give up? I don't know what to do.

I'm considering just giving up.

cheyniemama

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! You are doing great! Without family support, it is TONS harder, but realize that your biggest supporter and person you are doing this for is YOU! If they truly love you, they will have to understand, not try and hold you back. Lots of people fear change, even in others. It makes the insecure about themselves, and their future. Fat friends don't want you to lose...then you will be skinny while they are fat. Boyfriends don't want you to get better looking than them and leave. Family members don't want you to try and be "better" than them and show them up. Really, this is their insecurities screaming. Don't let your strong motivation be weakened by someone else's weakness! I'll be on you, making sure you are on MFP, doing your exercise and diet, because you made a choice to do this - YOU! Not them. You can do it! You have done amazing so far...don't waste your drive...it's awesome!

sweetmelissa222

In case other people haven't said it lately, I'm proud of you. It's corny I know, but sometimes you just got to hear it from somewhere. Sticking with working out for 10 days is awesome, just think how awesome it will be in 20 days!

I also struggle with depression and separation anxiety, so I completely get where you are coming from. It can be really difficult to mentally slow yourself down enough to say that splurging and overeating are contributing to that feeling, that it is making it worse.

I'm sorry your family is not behind you, I come from a huge southern Italian family that loves to eat. Celebrating means food. I'm very lucky in the fact that my mom has seen the way that this lifestyle is a major part of why a lot of my family suffers from diabetes and other weight related diseases. After her divorce she lost nearly 100 lbs both from depression and the honest urge to feel good about herself. This means that now while I work on my journey, I have a constant cheerleader who can be there at family functions to say think about what you are doing. It feels good now, will it feel good later?

It's unfair of these people, who you know love you, to bring you down in something that you know will make you happy. Do they understand how hard it is for you and the urge you have to be happy? Since you mom had bypass it makes me think that she must understand the battle that it is. If your family is anything like my family then getting your mom to understand means getting quite a few people to back off. Try talking with her one on one and let her know that you are dealing with your weight issue in an attempt to find happiness in life. You aren't going through the drastic measure of surgery, so there is turning back if you feel it impacts you negatively as it did her.

As far as your fiance, I hope that if you tell him that you are hating yourself and you think that losing a little weight will help you love yourself and see yourself the way he does than he will get behind you. He may just be saying what he thinks you want to hear or he may be speaking out of fear that if you change your body, YOU will change.

Don't give up, solely for the reasons that you said here. You said you hate your body, you hate the way it feels being you, don't stop until that feeling stops and when you need support, we are here. I'm going to friend you, if you want to,send me a message and I can give you my cell number so that when you feel overwhelmed by the lack of support or need someone to say hey you can do this you can text me and I can do that.

fatty_to_fitty

Never give up on something you believe in. Real faith doesn't require others to agree with you, you just believe in yourself and being healthier. let them be and stick at it