Relationships

Options
2

Replies

  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    1. Communication - being able to discuss things without yelling. Being able to compromise. Listening and understanding the other's POV all included there.

    2. Companionship - Laughing together, private jokes, intimacy, etc. Hubby is my best friend and confidant.

    3. Trust - I don't want to have to worry that he's with someone else if he's late coming home from work or if he has to go out of town for a meeting. But even beyond that. I trust that when I'm sick or in the middle of tax season he'll help pick up the slack. I trust that he'll contribute as much to our family as I do. I trust that our family is his #1 priority.


    As for the 2nd question there is nothing. He doesn't "let me" do anything and I wouldn't want to do anything that would ever hurt him.
  • Ro0kins_Wedding
    Ro0kins_Wedding Posts: 295
    Options
    I agree with everyone else but for me one of the most important ones next to Love and Trust is...

    Compromise!
  • GrahamBarwick
    GrahamBarwick Posts: 459
    Options
    I agree with everyone else but for me one of the most important ones next to Love and Trust is...

    Compromise!


    I did mate :smile: something you do on a daily basis, or i do lol
  • bsalis76
    bsalis76 Posts: 31
    Options
    One thing that's a certain relationship killer, and that's...

    Contempt

    Some scientist figured that out. True story.
  • kehowe83
    kehowe83 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    I had always thought it would be
    Love (romance, intimacy, passion)
    Communication
    Trust

    But after being with my husband for 7 years, who is the most non romantic person I know (Don't think he even knows the word passion), I have come to realize that success in a relationship means so much more and have a new top 3

    Love - (commitment to each other, respect for the other person, allows the other person to be who they are)
    Communication - (Compromise, limiting passive aggressiveness, ability to discuss the hard topics)
    Trust - (that they will do what is right in the relationship (he is gone a lot on business), Trust that I can count on him when I really need it, trust that when I feel my worst, he will surprise me in ways that will make me love him more)

    There are so much more to include money, values, etc.. but these are the three that pop in my head the most.
    I think understanding your definitions for words are extremely important... especially for expecting happiness in long term relationships
  • GrahamBarwick
    GrahamBarwick Posts: 459
    Options
    I had always thought it would be
    Love (romance, intimacy, passion)
    Communication
    Trust

    But after being with my husband for 7 years, who is the most non romantic person I know (Don't think he even knows the word passion), I have come to realize that success in a relationship means so much more and have a new top 3

    Love - (commitment to each other, respect for the other person, allows the other person to be who they are)
    Communication - (Compromise, limiting passive aggressiveness, ability to discuss the hard topics)
    Trust - (that they will do what is right in the relationship (he is gone a lot on business), Trust that I can count on him when I really need it, trust that when I feel my worst, he will surprise me in ways that will make me love him more)

    There are so much more to include money, values, etc.. but these are the three that pop in my head the most.
    I think understanding your definitions for words are extremely important... especially for expecting happiness in long term relationships

    this is good and very well put.

    I think that a lot of people dont see the romantic side of a long term partner after been together for a long time or get to the stage where its taken for granted or not seen anymore( not saying this in your case at all hun)

    I like to buy flowers and go to fancy places etc etc but i do see that for me romantic isn't always about that. I like to take the pressure of my fiance by trying to remember to do my bit in the house, make her little boy's dinners for school etc. I see that in its own right as been more helpful than been romantic, although i do like time on our own and to cook for her and send the odd bunch of flowers.

    For me Charlotte doesn't need to buy anything for me to be romantic, she just has to look at me in a certain way or whisper she 'missed me today' That is the kind of thing i love and costs nothing :heart:
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    Romance after years of being together is a lot different than romance of a new relationship. For a new relationship it means flowers, nice dinners out, long relaxing evenings in front of the fire, etc. After 22 years together romance is things like when I get up with DH every day and pack his lunch or set up coffee the night before on the weekend. It's the little things you do to make the other person smile. Oh sure the occasional flowers and dinner for 2 is nice but if it was every week it would cause more problems than it would fix because of the expense.
  • kehowe83
    kehowe83 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    I had always thought it would be
    Love (romance, intimacy, passion)
    Communication
    Trust

    But after being with my husband for 7 years, who is the most non romantic person I know (Don't think he even knows the word passion), I have come to realize that success in a relationship means so much more and have a new top 3

    Love - (commitment to each other, respect for the other person, allows the other person to be who they are)
    Communication - (Compromise, limiting passive aggressiveness, ability to discuss the hard topics)
    Trust - (that they will do what is right in the relationship (he is gone a lot on business), Trust that I can count on him when I really need it, trust that when I feel my worst, he will surprise me in ways that will make me love him more)

    There are so much more to include money, values, etc.. but these are the three that pop in my head the most.
    I think understanding your definitions for words are extremely important... especially for expecting happiness in long term relationships

    this is good and very well put.

    I think that a lot of people dont see the romantic side of a long term partner after been together for a long time or get to the stage where its taken for granted or not seen anymore( not saying this in your case at all hun)

    I like to buy flowers and go to fancy places etc etc but i do see that for me romantic isn't always about that. I like to take the pressure of my fiance by trying to remember to do my bit in the house, make her little boy's dinners for school etc. I see that in its own right as been more helpful than been romantic, although i do like time on our own and to cook for her and send the odd bunch of flowers.

    For me Charlotte doesn't need to buy anything for me to be romantic, she just has to look at me in a certain way or whisper she 'missed me today' That is the kind of thing i love and costs nothing :heart:

    yea, we never really had any real passion in our relationship, and that is something I had a tough time letting go of (still always want it), but there is so much more that makes a relationship, you have to ask what would I be losing if I made that my deal breaker?
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
    Options
    Honesty and trust.

    mila_kunis_l3.jpg

    AND

    ryan-gosling-shirtless-600-400-09-12-11.jpg
  • GrahamBarwick
    GrahamBarwick Posts: 459
    Options
    Romance after years of being together is a lot different than romance of a new relationship. For a new relationship it means flowers, nice dinners out, long relaxing evenings in front of the fire, etc. After 22 years together romance is things like when I get up with DH every day and pack his lunch or set up coffee the night before on the weekend. It's the little things you do to make the other person smile. Oh sure the occasional flowers and dinner for 2 is nice but if it was every week it would cause more problems than it would fix because of the expense.

    spot on
  • GrahamBarwick
    GrahamBarwick Posts: 459
    Options
    I had always thought it would be
    Love (romance, intimacy, passion)
    Communication
    Trust

    But after being with my husband for 7 years, who is the most non romantic person I know (Don't think he even knows the word passion), I have come to realize that success in a relationship means so much more and have a new top 3

    Love - (commitment to each other, respect for the other person, allows the other person to be who they are)
    Communication - (Compromise, limiting passive aggressiveness, ability to discuss the hard topics)
    Trust - (that they will do what is right in the relationship (he is gone a lot on business), Trust that I can count on him when I really need it, trust that when I feel my worst, he will surprise me in ways that will make me love him more)

    There are so much more to include money, values, etc.. but these are the three that pop in my head the most.
    I think understanding your definitions for words are extremely important... especially for expecting happiness in long term relationships

    this is good and very well put.

    I think that a lot of people dont see the romantic side of a long term partner after been together for a long time or get to the stage where its taken for granted or not seen anymore( not saying this in your case at all hun)

    I like to buy flowers and go to fancy places etc etc but i do see that for me romantic isn't always about that. I like to take the pressure of my fiance by trying to remember to do my bit in the house, make her little boy's dinners for school etc. I see that in its own right as been more helpful than been romantic, although i do like time on our own and to cook for her and send the odd bunch of flowers.

    For me Charlotte doesn't need to buy anything for me to be romantic, she just has to look at me in a certain way or whisper she 'missed me today' That is the kind of thing i love and costs nothing :heart:

    yea, we never really had any real passion in our relationship, and that is something I had a tough time letting go of (still always want it), but there is so much more that makes a relationship, you have to ask what would I be losing if I made that my deal breaker?
    passion is a big thing for me but it isn't always tearing each others clothes off, charlotte looks at me sometimes like no one has before(prob because i was so overweight lol) and that makes me happy and leaves me feeling loved all day. Whilst passion may not be there 100% of the day, i couldn't be with someone who was cold, i would find that very hard but i can't imagine i would fall in love with someone who at least wasn't on the same wavelength as me. but what is good for one isn't always for another :smile:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,791 Member
    Options
    Trust / Honesty -- without it, what's the point?

    Friendship / Love -- your mate is the most important person in your life. If they are not, what's the point?

    Wisdom / Forgiveness -- the wisdom to realize that no indiviual incident is more important than your relationship as a whole. If you forgive and move forward, what's the point?
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    Options
    trust
    respect
    commuinication/ freindship
  • skarr28
    skarr28 Posts: 98
    Options
    - Love/Passion/Intimacy (They all go together)
    - Respect/Loyalty/Trust
    - Communication

    This, plus wisdom!
  • MrsOMG
    MrsOMG Posts: 84
    Options
    Passion
    Friendship
    Understanding.
  • doctor_mike
    doctor_mike Posts: 70
    Options
    1. Innate "connection" aka, that deep communication and bond that almost seems cosmic
    2. Willingness to please from both parties
    3. Emotional, physical, and intimate trust
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
    Options
    Communication
    Trust
    Love/Respect equally (because they go hand in hand)

    I don't think my husband (or simply having a husband) prevents me from doing anything I might like to do.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
    Options
    ~ Compassion, desire, sex
    ~ Open communication, understanding, nonjudgmental
    ~ Happpiness, freedom, pleasure

    Ok ok ... So that was nine ... but then I don't have to go without ! :)
  • seekingthepatienceofjob
    seekingthepatienceofjob Posts: 288 Member
    Options
    Honesty
    Love
    Respect
    Sex
    Communication
    Trust and Freedom

    I think the lack of one of these will break a relationship (well...sex could be an exception if you arent married and want to wait)
  • vmclach
    vmclach Posts: 670 Member
    Options
    1. Trust
    2. Teamwork
    3. Fun

    break:
    1. Lying
    2. Power struggles
    3. no communication

Categories