Friends can be cruel..

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  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    They eat yummy food in front of you not because they enjoy it but because they're JEALOUS!!!!!

    ^^ This too! Jealousy is a *****! Next thing you know they'll be wearing nicer clothes than you. Friends are so disappointing, aren't they?
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    I don't know-- sounds to me like you need to find, or become, a better friend-- personally, I've never had these concerns. If I'm "on a diet," what do I care what others eat? Or wear??? Why judge what they eat? Why not worry about you? Why not worry about what kind of friend you are??

    Petty problems, ladies-- people really suffer in this world. One friend has a friend undergoing brutal breast cancer issues-- and we worry that someone is eating a cheeseburger?
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    Yipes-- I just realized the original poster is a man....apologize for my "ladies" comment.... uh....sort of.
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,740 Member
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    I don't know-- sounds to me like you either need to find, or become, a better friend-- personally, I've never had these concerns. If I'm "on a diet," what do I care what others eat? Or wear??? Why judge what they eat? Why not worry about you? Why not worry about what kind of friend you are??

    Petty problems, ladies-- people really suffer in this world. One friend has a friend undergoing brutal breast cancer issues-- and we worry that someone is eating a cheeseburger?
    :heart:
  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
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    It doesn't bother me one bit. I eat what I eat. They eat what they eat. I cannot eat sugar at all (gastric bypass), so I don't begrudge anyone eating a candy bar in front of me. Why? Because I know I CAN'T have it. I know they CAN have it. I look at it like favorite/ hated foods. I don't stop my family from eating pancakes (even though I despise them), because I know they enjoy them. Ce la vie! :)
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    at least they arent force feeding you the pizza.....that would be cruel
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    Is it just me and my so called friends, when I am sitting eating a low fat dinner or salad etc, they are chomping away on either pizza or some other sort of fast food. Doesn't bother me now as I will have the last laugh with the weight loss.

    If it doesn't bother you, how is it cruel?
  • pixlamarque
    pixlamarque Posts: 312 Member
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    They eat yummy food in front of you not because they enjoy it but because they're JEALOUS!!!!!

    It's possible that they eat yummy food because it's....well.....yummy.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    They eat yummy food in front of you not because they enjoy it but because they're JEALOUS!!!!!

    Yeah, right. That's how I got fat - pure jealousy...
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Sounds to me like you need to worry more about your own plate and less about your friends' plates and waist lines.

    Problem solved.
  • AmberLee2012
    AmberLee2012 Posts: 540
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    Just take it as willpower training. I’ve been watching the show Ruby on Netflix and she was 700 lbs at her highest weight. I’m in season 2 and she is down to 350. She has taken her nephew through the drive-thru and went in bakery shops and not given purchased anything for herself. Very inspiring! It’s okay to have those things in moderation, but sometimes it can be a slippery slope of the food is a trigger food.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    It's not cruel. They're free to make their own food choices just as you are.

    Just because they're not conforming to your choices doesn't make them cruel.
  • darylinny
    darylinny Posts: 146
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    Not cruel...unless they were eating your favorite "before" food and taunting you with all the goo-ey, caloric tasty-ness...that would be cruel. Or unless you've specifically asked them to not eat certain things around you and they do it any way...that would be cruel. But if they haven't changed their eating habits and you have then they are just being themselves! Talk to them about it, don't just assume they are being cruel, clueless maybe, insensitive definitely!!! Maybe you should widen your friend circle and hook up with people who are trying to lose weight too, that way you have a support system that is going through what you are too.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    None of us live in a vacuum, unfortunately. There will ALWAYS be other people, family or friends, strangers or coworkers, who are living their lives around us. They may make choices in their diet or activities or personal life that we don't agree with or wouldn't choose for themselves.

    This is about YOU and YOUR path. This is a path that you're traveling on your own and the reasons have to be your own. Don't worry about other people. I can guarantee you not a single one of them was thinking "Bwhahaha, I shall sabotage her by eating this delicious greasy-ness right. in. front. of. her." Most people act out of obliviousness or out of their own desires. It has nothing to do with you. And if they were thinking those thoughts, and you honestly believed that, why are you still friends with them?

    Make this about YOU and not about THEM.

    EDIT:
    Also, if you guys were used to doing these activities together before (eating pizza, etc), it might not occur to them that it's sensitive for you now.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    speaking of pizza :love:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I don't think its cruel necessarily, but its a hard thing to overcome. For a long time, I always got sucked into sabotaging my own healthy eating because I went out with friends and ordered something terrible for me, because a) they ordered terrible things, and b) those terrible things sounded wonderful at the time and I didn't want to be the one with the boring healthy food while they had something more interesting, and I personally just don't do well with the whole "everything in moderation" theory....

    Once I decided that I just HAD to stick to my plans because I'd had enough, I've learned that I'm just as satisfied with the lower calorie options and feel a lot happier when the meal is done (no longer left feeling bloated, overly full and disappointed in my bad choices). After I lost 35 lbs, my friends now watch to see what I'm getting and they too have started planning ahead by checking nutritional info online when we're planning a specific restaurant...or asking my opinion.

    Hang in there...once they start noticing your results, they'll be following your lead soon enough!
  • lisaisso
    lisaisso Posts: 337 Member
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    if that's your definition of cruel..
    i agree with some of the other replies, just because u made a change doesn't mean others have to abide by those same rules or guidelines.. it just doesn't work that way.
    continue to do what you're doing and you'll see results, despite what others are doing around you.
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
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    The flip side - My friends always feel guilty when they eat junky or high-cal stuff in front of me, and that in turn, makes me feel bad because I don't want to make them feel bad.

    I just want to enjoy time with my friends and have some fun with them - I don't care about their food. Sure, their 5 pound burritos look really yummy, but I know how many calories are in them (yikes!) so it doesn't even phase me. Plus I only eat delicious things that I absoultely love! They don't need to feel bad for me! I love my food!
  • luvgreen25
    luvgreen25 Posts: 202
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    I get the opposite, I get someone (family mostly) who says "Can you eat that??" Uggh so annoying. I think people get in mindsets of diet food and gosh at some point in my life I'm going to eat a piece of pizza or a cookie and it's okay, it doesn't mean I'm a failure and it's not going to derail my entire eating plan. It's all about moderation.

    Watching other people eat something like pizza if I eat a salad doesn't bother me, mainly because I eat what I want, so if I choose to eat a salad, I'm going to enjoy the crap out of that thing. HA!

    I HATE comments like that! Every single time I hear - "are you allowed to eat that?" I cringe. I have to take a deep breathe as to not blow a gasket while answering. After a few LONG seconds, I reply, "Yes, I'm allowed to eat whatever I want. Thank you for asking."
  • hawkeygal
    hawkeygal Posts: 133 Member
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    hang in there David!

    Just know you're making a healthy lifestyle change for YOU and not anyone else. If your friends tend to "taunt" you with their fast food/poor food choices, try to meet them after dinner/meal times rather than putting yourself in a hard emotional situation.

    Remember, we're all proud of what you've achieved!

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