All guys should keep this close for quick reference...
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hellosunshine88
Posts: 17
in Chit-Chat
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.
4. Go Ahead: At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
5. Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare, not permission. In other words, don't do it!
6. Go Ahead (Neutral Expression): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
7. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
8. Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
9. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.
10. Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
11. Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.
12. Thanks A Lot: This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
13. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
14. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying F- YOU!
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.
4. Go Ahead: At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
5. Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare, not permission. In other words, don't do it!
6. Go Ahead (Neutral Expression): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
7. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
8. Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
9. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.
10. Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
11. Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.
12. Thanks A Lot: This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
13. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
14. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying F- YOU!
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Replies
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Thanks but I think most of us already know women are irrational and don't understand language well.
:flowerforyou: Love you ladies! 0 -
Which is why men end up
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Screw that... Everything is solved with wine. And sex. And if you get wine infused whipped cream, you can do both.
Boom!
And.../endthread.0 -
Screw that... Everything is solved with wine. And sex. And if you get wine infused whipped cream, you can do both.
Boom!
And.../endthread.
How about whipped cream flavored vodka?
JM0 -
...and the universal response "Where's my sandwich?"0
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The hand guide for women to keep should be as follows:
1) "I'm Hungry" - would you make me a sammich?
2) "I'm Thirsty" - do we have any beer?
3) "I'm Horny" - I would like sex, if not would you make me a sammich or bring me a beer?
4) "I just want to watch the game" - I would like to watch this sporting event uninterrupted. #1, 2 or 3 are also welcome, but nothing else.0 -
Or instead of some obscure rule book you could just be open and let us be who we are .. you know like we are supposed to do for you. :P0
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Doesn't apply to me. I use direct language. And I mostly don't care enough about things to concern a significant other.
Whoever said sex solves everything is almost right. It doesn't always get problems solved, but it makes everyone happy and no one cares, so it's ok
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