Trouble with Parents

eatmeingo

Now I'm 20 years old but I still live at home with my mother. She knows I'm trying to eat healthier and count calories and etc but what she doesn't understand is that I actually need to. She's 5'8. I'm 5'2. She doesn't understand that I have to be under a certain weight to be considered healthy and wants me above 135 at all times. I've even told her, that's over weight for my height but she doesn't care?

How do I make her stop? Now all she does it tell other people and make fun of me for my calorie counting and not eating what she cooks. /: And it hurts.

hiker282

Two words really: Move out!

sexyminxinthemaking

with parents it is hard cos they often think that a diet will make their child miserable and unhappy and they dont want to see you go through that, try sitting down talking to her and just putting it to her as a lifestyle change rather than a diet x

PrincessLou71186

If you can, take her with you to see your GP and have him explain why it's important. Hearing it from a health professional might work. Failing that the only I can suggest is continue doing what you are and try to remember, she doesn't understand why you are doing it.

eatmeingo

Two words really: Move out!

I'm planning on it, once I can find a roommate /:

eatmeingo

If you can, take her with you to see your GP and have him explain why it's important. Hearing it from a health professional might work. Failing that the only I can suggest is continue doing what you are and try to remember, she doesn't understand why you are doing it.

That's a good idea!

with parents it is hard cos they often think that a diet will make their child miserable and unhappy and they dont want to see you go through that, try sitting down talking to her and just putting it to her as a lifestyle change rather than a diet x

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what's up with my mom too. I'll try it .

MaximalLife

She won't stop ever.
That's what moms do.
Suck it up until you can get out on your own, and just continue to lose the weight you want in spite of her efforts to fatten you up.

eatmeingo

She won't stop ever.
That's what moms do.
Suck it up until you can get out on your own, and just continue to lose the weight you want in spite of her efforts to fatten you up.

I get that, I just don't want her making fun of me anymore.

dakitten2

That can be really hard particularly at your age and still living at home. I know my Dad is my biggest cheerleader and he actually gave me the nudge to start. Now I am substantially overweight and have a whole lot more to lose than you do. But I am close to your height, I'm one inch taller. LOL

Have you tried sitting down with her and talking to her just the way you posted here? Let her know how you are feeling and that it hurts you that she is not supportive in your efforts. Most mothers just want what is best for their children but we have the tendency to think we know what is best for our kids. You'll feel that way too if you have children.

I think an honest heart to heart is needed. I notice your goal weight is 100 pounds. That is super small and maybe she is worried about you having a eating disorder if you get too small. Also, maybe she is a little jealous of what you are accomplishing. You might find along your journey that 100 pounds is not where you want to end up, so I wouldnt emphasize to her what your goal weight is. You might find yourself more comfortable around the 110-115 level.

My partner is your height and weighs 105 and she wishes she could gain weight. Lucky her! When I was your age, I know I felt my best at around 120-125. So try a heart to heart and let her know how you feel and how much you would like to have her support! I hope it helps.

fishndad

I'm 62 yrs old & my Mom wants to be sure I never, ever, leave her place hungry when I go to visit her. When I was young, food & feeding & making sure her little boy never went hungry meant love & her responsibility as a Mother

eatmeingo

That can be really hard particularly at your age and still living at home. I know my Dad is my biggest cheerleader and he actually gave me the nudge to start. Now I am substantially overweight and have a whole lot more to lose than you do. But I am close to your height, I'm one inch taller. LOL

Have you tried sitting down with her and talking to her just the way you posted here? Let her know how you are feeling and that it hurts you that she is not supportive in your efforts. Most mothers just want what is best for their children but we have the tendency to think we know what is best for our kids. You'll feel that way too if you have children.

I think an honest heart to heart is needed. I notice your goal weight is 100 pounds. That is super small and maybe she is worried about you having a eating disorder if you get too small. Also, maybe she is a little jealous of what you are accomplishing. You might find along your journey that 100 pounds is not where you want to end up, so I wouldnt emphasize to her what your goal weight is. You might find yourself more comfortable around the 110-115 level.

My partner is your height and weighs 105 and she wishes she could gain weight. Lucky her! When I was your age, I know I felt my best at around 120-125. So try a heart to heart and let her know how you feel and how much you would like to have her support! I hope it helps.

Oh believe me she doesn't know about my UGW. I just told her I want to be toned and healthy, but she says what I am right now is good enough and I shouldn't try. /: I know she wants what's best for me, but when she talks like that it really hurts. And I do have a history of EDNOS, which she doesn't know about, for about 5 years now on and off. I don't even want to bring that up though or she'll put me in hospital-- when I'm trying to do it the healthy way now!!

ViSabbi

When my parents were living with me, it was pretty much the same problem. My mom would cook while I was at work, and I would cook something else or eat small quantities of what she's prepared, without potatoes or anything 'bad' for me. It ended up in fights pretty much every nights until they got their house (5 months later). There's no real way to go around that other than explain, then either prepare your own meals and clean up after yourself (so she can't say you're cluttering the place of creating more dishes to wash) or eat in small portions what she prepares and make it healthier. When I was living with them, I just didn't really try to fight back, I just waited until I moved out (16 years old) and then completely changed my diet.

My mom pretty much made me overweight by not knowing it really. I try to educate her still today but I don't think I will ever get through her really. Potatoes are part of every dinner, fat holds a nice place too and the meat is dry and nearly burned. :P Can you believe she's diabetic and eating twice a day 2 toasts with sugar on it? Yeah... we have to accept differences.

ViSabbi

And I just saw your goal. I'm 5'2 and my goal is to be 130 because that's when I really felt good about myself. 100 is definately unhealthy for someone my height no matter what BMI says. 120 should be your goal as far as I'm concerned.

eatmeingo

When my parents were living with me, it was pretty much the same problem. My mom would cook while I was at work, and I would cook something else or eat small quantities of what she's prepared, without potatoes or anything 'bad' for me. It ended up in fights pretty much every nights until they got their house (5 months later). There's no real way to go around that other than explain, then either prepare your own meals and clean up after yourself (so she can't say you're cluttering the place of creating more dishes to wash) or eat in small portions what she prepares and make it healthier. When I was living with them, I just didn't really try to fight back, I just waited until I moved out (16 years old) and then completely changed my diet.

My mom pretty much made me overweight by not knowing it really. I try to educate her still today but I don't think I will ever get through her really. Potatoes are part of every dinner, fat holds a nice place too and the meat is dry and nearly burned. :P Can you believe she's diabetic and eating twice a day 2 toasts with sugar on it? Yeah... we have to accept differences.

Oh man yeah, potatoes. We're German and Russian in heritage and my mom is super focused on keeping to food traditions. Potatoes and cabbage and sausages and fried everything. XD But yeah, that's basically how I'm feeling lately. /: I'll cook something for myself and then she'll comment about it or get mad. Last night I opted out on her pizza for a bowl of home made soup and she sat in with my grandpa and made fun of me for a half an hour.

ViSabbi

Well by eating parts of what she prepares, she will feel like she's not doing it for nothing and will perhaps see a compromise in that. Perhaps exercise a bit more to balance things out if it's really bad by your standards. If you just replace the potatoes by a salad it should already help you a lot, I would think. When my mom was preparing stew of any kind, I would just eat the meat and good vegetables, and eat a salad on the side.