From Good to Bad

YassSpartan

In the year I've been a member of this site I've gone from loving it to the beginning of rejecting it. The reason why is because I don't recall so many childish, immature, rude, offensive and id**ts as there are now. This used to be a a website for people who would come to encourage each other, learn from each other, correct each other in a civil and educated way, to share ideas, thoughts, have fun while losing weight or gain weight, state opinions and have a peaceful debate about it. Unfortunately all of that is gone now.

It only requires one "expert" who just because he or she has lost weight whichever way they did, everything else that anyone else says is wrong. Not only that, but instead of trying to reason about it it is a constant attack and threads are becoming a war zone causing moderators to be flooded with reports and eventually taking actions, either locking the threads or deleting them completely.

Weight loss and fitness are almost becoming of the same nature than religion and politics, and that's sad because that works against encouragement. The reality is, most users come here because they don't get the support at home, or they struggle every single day of their lives having to fight temptations, criticism, misleading information from the "know it all"s to find themselves afraid of asking or sharing information in this website because now those "know it all" are here too doing the same thing they do out there in real life.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating an opinion without pushing it and trying to prove wrong others, even if the original topic is wrong. Instead of bashing other's contribution to the forum, why don't you explain why you disagree in a nice way. I can't even say to start a new thread trying to disprove other topics because even then people are buying so immature about it that it defeats the purpose of the forum.

One of the main tools anyone can have in losing weight, aside from proper dieting and exercising, is to be happy and stress free, and those last two are not being accomplished here.

Honestly, if all of you were so experts in the weight department, you wouldn't be behaving and attacking others like you do. At the end, just because you read the information from a "legit", and notice the quotation marks, source, doesn't mean the information is even 100% real. But of course, just to disprove the OP, Google, Wikipedia, Men's Health, the teacher at school, the one with a University Diploma, and so on know absolutely nothing.

I'd really love to see the Admins and Moderators start to give warnings to people who break the forum rules about being temporarily banned from the forums, or even permanent if the problems continue, in order to start turning the forums back to what they used to be.

Respect if you want to be respected, everyone deserves it, specially women who in some cases are more vulnerable to the attacks. What works for you might not work for others. Your preferences are not necessarily others' preferences. If your religious and political views are irrelevant to the topic being discussed, keep them to yourself, no one has to keep reading about it. And even most of all, leave the "know it all" attitude at home before login in to the forums.

I'm sure there is more to say about this but for now I'm done with what I had to say.

ps. And stop hijacking topics.

Mcmilligen

I agree with you here. I have pretty much stopped posting in forums completely due to a few of said "experts" attacking what I said without stating WHY I was wrong. It really ruined my desire to give friendly advice to those who were asking. I wouldn't mind someone disagreeing with what I had to say if they stated why they thought I was wrong in a constructive, and respectful manner. I've also been a lot less keen to log on and track my food and/or exercise due to the negativity I am seeing lately on this site. Don't get me wrong, I have a few awesome friends on MFP- but logging things on my own seem to be just as good as logging publicly. Perhaps I'll smarten up and get back in to it, but at the moment, I'm feeling pretty "meh" about this site. It's gotten me carefully tracking my food intake and my exercise, so for that at least- it has been a fantastic tool and source of inspiration to get me going. It is sad to see the negativity grow though since then.

kaikoi47

I have noticed this...that is why i just read, laugh a few times, and then go back to simply logging my food in. :-/ i recently started adding people and i have had my fitness pal for about a year and some change now.

YassSpartan

I know, it is ridiculous. From time to time I set my profile to private so only the ones who are in my friends' list can see what I log whenever I do. But like you said, nonetheless the site is still a good tool and every once in a while we get to meet new cool people who are constructive and not destructive

You're still doing a great job, so keep it up!

YassSpartan

I have noticed this...that is why i just read, laugh a few times, and then go back to simply logging my food in. :-/ i recently started adding people and i have had my fitness pal for about a year and some change now.

I'd love to just read, but sometimes people say such things that it is hard to resist the temptation of commenting, even when I know I'll be "wrong" no matter what.

jkestens63

There are alot of people who forget that an opinion is just that, its neither fact nor fiction, just what the person thinks- right or wrong. People who think their opinion is the only one that matters are irritating but I read the forums for entertainment and sometimes get tidbits of useful info.

The ones who ahould be banned are the peoplewho start critcizing grammer & spelling. Thats just hurtful and ridiculous.

mrskesler

I agree.... I'm fairly new here, and I'm almost afraid to respond to posts, and definitely afraid to post new topics...

fieldsbean

I am glad you wrote this..i have been on here..maybe about a month..I am 35+ overweight but i am NOT one of those people who just "changes" and all of a sudden my diet consists of an ice cube with a piece of carrot in it. I fail somedays..miserably.
But I want this to be a sight where when I fail, I am not given the " don't worry you are fine" or the " you should just give up, fatty."

What I want is a site that helps me remember that right now..someone is hurting..and trying hard..and hoping..just like me.

Let's just keep the good news going..if we don't stand for something..we fall for anything.

YassSpartan

I think one of the ways around that, to have more control over it is to read thru the forums, add those users who seem to care enough for others as friends and discuss certain topics in your blog, that way you can delete unwanted comments and control whether your blog is open to the public or just your friends. Definitely a great option to keep control over how far the discussion goes and not having the fear of someone ruining the whole thing

livingaloha

It should all be about giving loving support to each other. there is no one solution that will work for everyone, just because what you are doing is working for you, doesnt mean it will for the next person. You can share your experience and what is working (or not working) for you without putting down others. It is a journey for all of us, and if "they" are such experts, why would they need a site like this anyway? I have to wonder.... As far as putting someone down for their spelling or grammer-dont even get me started, at least they are here to make healthy changes in their lives, not to be made to feel stupid! What we all need to remember is that when you are pointing the finger at what you feel is someone elses faults, there are 3 more fingers pointing back at you. From my own experience when I am feeling critical about someone else it is because I dont want to take a good look at myself. Love, support, ((hugs)) to all.
I will not give up because of a few toxic, negative people, unfortunately they are everywhere in this world. I am in this to become a better, fitter, and healthier person. Looking for others that have the same goals as myself. Will I always have a perfect day, or workout perfectly everyday-no, will I fall down and have days I want to give up-absolutely! Will I be there to pick myself up, dust myself off and try again, and give support to those who are trying to do the same- without a doubt! :flowerforyou:

YassSpartan

It should all be about giving loving support to each other. there is no one solution that will work for everyone, just because what you are doing is working for you, doesnt mean it will for the next person. You can share your experience and what is working (or not working) for you without putting down others. It is a journey for all of us, and if "they" are such experts, why would they need a site like this anyway? I have to wonder.... As far as putting someone down for their spelling or grammer-dont even get me started, at least they are here to make healthy changes in their lives, not to be made to feel stupid! What we all need to remember is that when you are pointing the finger at what you feel is someone elses faults, there are 3 more fingers pointing back at you. From my own experience when I am feeling critical about someone else it is because I dont want to take a good look at myself. Love, support, ((hugs)) to all.

Exactly! I wonder the same, and maybe they're just trying to take it on people the same way others have to them in any aspects of life.

I can care less about grammar and spelling since what I care about is the message.

And last but not least, one thing is for sure, weight is not just a physical issue, most of us, including those who are obese due to health issues, somehow have or are still struggling with emotional problems that in some ways affect our weights. Making someone feel bad WILL NOT help anyone, instead will make the person feel even worse and fall back into the old routines.

YassSpartan

Also, besides of blogs, groups are a great idea to keep control over posts and comments.