Impatience and weight loss

SHBoss1673

I've been on MFP a long time, I started (under a different name) about a year and a half ago. In my time here, there is one pervasive theme that seems to pop up every week. Impatience.

I realize that everyone wants to have their weight loss NOW! But everyone needs to take a pill and relax. Nobody loses weight in a week, heck very few lose significant weight in a MONTH, I see all these posts that are complaining that they have been working hard and doing "everything right" for 1 or 2 or 3 weeks and wondering why it's not working.

PEOPLE, stop for a second and think about it. your body isn't a math equation, it's not going to conform exactly to a plan just because you set a huge goal in the goals section. Be patient, analyze what your goals are and GIVE IT TIME. And please, read over the sticky posts that are provided, take the time and learn about how your body, your metabolism, and weight loss and health works. Don't just dive in with no idea why you are doing things. I have provided a link that has many of the posts that you should read, they should help you some in making your decisions. Please read them and do some serious thinking before you start posting about your weight loss trials.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/23912-links-in-mfp-you-want-to-read-again-and-again

thank you!

Banks

SHBoss1673

I've been on MFP a long time, I started (under a different name) about a year and a half ago. In my time here, there is one pervasive theme that seems to pop up every week. Impatience.

I realize that everyone wants to have their weight loss NOW! But everyone needs to take a pill and relax. Nobody loses weight in a week, heck very few lose significant weight in a MONTH, I see all these posts that are complaining that they have been working hard and doing "everything right" for 1 or 2 or 3 weeks and wondering why it's not working.

PEOPLE, stop for a second and think about it. your body isn't a math equation, it's not going to conform exactly to a plan just because you set a huge goal in the goals section. Be patient, analyze what your goals are and GIVE IT TIME. And please, read over the sticky posts that are provided, take the time and learn about how your body, your metabolism, and weight loss and health works. Don't just dive in with no idea why you are doing things. I have provided a link that has many of the posts that you should read, they should help you some in making your decisions. Please read them and do some serious thinking before you start posting about your weight loss trials.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/23912-links-in-mfp-you-want-to-read-again-and-again

thank you!

Banks

kpnuts23

Well said Mr! :happy:

kbirky73

You are sooo right, per usual.
However, having been in the place of utter frustration and despair, it's GREAT to be able to come on here and hear what others have gone through.
Nobody truly cares about the mechanics of all this ... we want to hear what works for others, what doesn't, and how others have over come those frustrations.

That being said, this is a lifestyle change, and everyone needs to remember that. Your body is used to YOU ... when YOU change, it needs TIME!!!

72lori

Thank you.

Edit: I'm thanking you for reminding everybody that there are a ton of great posts and information out there to read and to learn from.

nikii14

I agree, however, isn't what this website is for?? Help, encouragement, a place to vent??? Of course we all want the weight to fall off after a few days and by reading some of the threads, it DOES happen for some people. I, for one, was confused by this and was wondering why it wasn't happening to me.
But after posting threads and asking questions, I was able to get the help I needed.

As you said, you have been on this website for a while. I'm sure when you first started, you felt the same way. I think we all did...that's why we are here.

Do not discourage people from asking questions, venting, or looking for help. That's why we are here.
I know you have helped a HUGE amount of people, and have had great success..that's why im surprised you posted this.

For some people, this is the first time they are trying to help themselves and need guidance and encouragment from others.

Good Luck to everyone in their journey!!!

arewethereyet

To me this is a very encouraging thread.

Be Patient.

It is frustrating to have been over weight for so long, hating the way you look.........the way you feel.

But it did not happen over night. Neither will your weight loss.

I have reveled in each moment of this journey. I take PRIDE in the changes I make each day, in the choices I have made and in the accomplishments over time.

It took me 15 years to get to 168.5 and it took me 6 months to get to 138!!!

Along the way I had many great acheivements and self realizations.

Enjoy these small moments and they will get you to the next day, week, month and pants size~~

KatWood

I agree, however, isn't what this website is for?? Help, encouragement, a place to vent??? Of course we all want the weight to fall off after a few days and by reading some of the threads, it DOES happen for some people. I, for one, was confused by this and was wondering why it wasn't happening to me.
But after posting threads and asking questions, I was able to get the help I needed.

As you said, you have been on this website for a while. I'm sure when you first started, you felt the same way. I think we all did...that's why we are here.

Do not discourage people from asking questions, venting, or looking for help. That's why we are here.
I know you have helped a HUGE amount of people, and have had great success..that's why im surprised you posted this.

For some people, this is the first time they are trying to help themselves and need guidance and encouragment from others.

Good Luck to everyone in their journey!!!

I don't think that is what Banks is saying at all. I don't think he means to discourage people from asking questions and seeking support. I think what he is saying is that people really need to educate themselves and be realistic about their weightloss goals. And that they should do so preferably before embarking on this journey to avoid frustartion, disappointment and even health problems. I agree that people need guidance and support, but it can be really frustrating to see thread after thread about the same things, the same complaints, the same unrealistic expectations. I hate to admit it, but often I don't reply to these types of threads because I am tired of saying the same thing over and over again. So I just sit back and wait for people like Banks to do it. And what if everyone starts to feel that way and no one answers them? Obviously that won't help anyone.

Is there a FAQ page somewhere on this site for newbies? It might help to proactively answer these types of questions and concerns.

sanifrey

Great thread! Just what I needed this morning!

I've been losing steadily since I started here in December. But this week is different. I've had no change at all. But, I've taken the time to stop, think & celebrate how far I've come! So, the scale didn't show this week - so what!! I know that I'm doing what I need to be doing, I'm getting healthy, I'm getting strong & in time, I'll get THERE!

Thank you for the reminder!

Celebrate the positive!

:drinker:

fullofjoy720

well put! :happy:

sanifrey

I agree, however, isn't what this website is for?? Help, encouragement, a place to vent??? Of course we all want the weight to fall off after a few days and by reading some of the threads, it DOES happen for some people. I, for one, was confused by this and was wondering why it wasn't happening to me.
But after posting threads and asking questions, I was able to get the help I needed.

As you said, you have been on this website for a while. I'm sure when you first started, you felt the same way. I think we all did...that's why we are here.

Do not discourage people from asking questions, venting, or looking for help. That's why we are here.
I know you have helped a HUGE amount of people, and have had great success..that's why im surprised you posted this.

For some people, this is the first time they are trying to help themselves and need guidance and encouragment from others.

Good Luck to everyone in their journey!!!

I don't think that is what Banks is saying at all. I don't think he means to discourage people from asking questions and seeking support. I think what he is saying is that people really need to educate themselves and be realistic about their weightloss goals. And that they should do so preferably before embarking on this journey to avoid frustartion, disappointment and even health problems. I agree that people need guidance and support, but it can be really frustrating to see thread after thread about the same things, the same complaints, the same unrealistic expectations. I hate to admit it, but often I don't reply to these types of threads because I am tired of saying the same thing over and over again. So I just sit back and wait for people like Banks to do it. And what if everyone starts to feel that way and no one answers them? Obviously that won't help anyone.

Is there a FAQ page somewhere on this site for newbies? It might help to proactively answer these types of questions and concerns.

I agree, well said!

rstarks54

So very well stated, NO ONE gained the weight overnight, to expect to loose it that fast is unrealistic...my former TKD instructor used to say, for everyday you are out of shape, it takes two to get back into it...Best to you always, Rick

SHBoss1673

I think nikki has made a good point.

And I don't have a problem with people posting on here. Posting issues looking for support and information and even venting frustration. That's fine. But IMHO, joining up and immediately venting frustration after a week diminishes the others who have been trying for a long time.

This may be biased of me, but seeing something like this tells me a couple of things.

1) long term health is not your primary concern, I get the feeling you are looking for a quick fix.

2) you haven't taken the time to read the posts in the General Info area, where all the very informative and helpful topics are posted.

3) you trust the site to do everything for you implicitly.

All of this is speculation, and it doesn't necessarilly hold true for everyone who posts these types of messages, but lets take a minute to think about personal responsibility and first impressions.

First, with regards to personal responsibility: If you don't take the time to truely understand what you are doing, are you really going to be able to stick to the plan for the rest of your life? This site should be someplace to share ideas, offer and receive help, and guide us, not be a crutch for people. That's my feeling anyway.

Second, with regards to first impressions: What you write in your first couple of posts isn't necessarilly who you are, but it's going to be how people perceive you for a while, and it's hard to change that perception. If you come on and immediately complain about it not working, what kind of message does that send?

I'm all about taking control of the situation. When I first started (to respond to the inquiry about when I started) I didn't do any venting. In fact, I didn't say a word for about 2 weeks. I had an advantage in that my wife has been a healthy lifestyler for a while so I watched a lot of what she did. I'm a facts and numbers guy, so when I first made the commitment, I almost immediately started to do research. I quickly found what works for me. I would hope that others will do the same.

All that said, I'm not against people coming on and venting, I'm just pointing out that many people vent and rail againt things that they don't fully understand, and I'm trying to push the point of knowledge.
The old addage holds true "Knowledge is power" If you understand your body, and how it works, you have the power to control it and shape it how you need too. Part of that knowledge is the understaning that the body takes more then a few weeks to change.

that's all I'm saying.

TamTastic

It's so true. I know that state of mind well. The "I want the weight off NOW!!" feeling.

I am not sure why we feel the need to put so much pressure on ourselves to get the weight off in record time. The fact of the matter is, just getting started.....doing it...and taking it a week at a time is the way to go. And each loss you have will help you to feel better and better so that well before you hit your "Goal weight", you will look and feel SO much better!

It took me a little over 16 months to lose the weight...but I didn't stress. I mean, what was the alternative? Staying the weight I was? Taking a diet pill? Starving myself?? I have been there, done that.....and failed! I knew for this to be FOR GOOD, I needed to find another way. And by taking a deep breath, educating myself and not trying to rush the process, I FOUND that way....and it almost seemed effortless because I made the changes so gradually.

And really, in the grand scheme of things, 16 months really isn't that long! Not compared to the YEARS of feeling better I will have.

Give yourself a break and just get started. Don't think about the time. :flowerforyou: Stressing out will only lead to failure.


-Tami

bootsnspurs4horses

I didn't know you as Banks. . . getting to know you under your new name. YOU ARE SO CORRECT !! Yes we can vent here too. . . but all in all positive reinforcement is what works for me !! And Banks hits it right on the head EVERY TIME !!

Patience. . . . Count to ten. . . .2. . .4. . .6. . .8., . .10. . . Are we there yet ?? LOL

PATIENCE !! and hard work.

SHBoss1673

You are sooo right, per usual.
However, having been in the place of utter frustration and despair, it's GREAT to be able to come on here and hear what others have gone through.
Nobody truly cares about the mechanics of all this ... we want to hear what works for others, what doesn't, and how others have over come those frustrations.

That being said, this is a lifestyle change, and everyone needs to remember that. Your body is used to YOU ... when YOU change, it needs TIME!!!

That's the rub isn't it?

People want to hear what others have done, and they don't really care about the mechanics behind it. But that's a problem in that each person is different and what works for you may not work for someone else the same way or to the same degree.

the mechanics behind it will be the key, you may not want to know, but until you do, you'll never be free of the doubt and worry over whether what you're doing is right and correct for you. Once you have that knowledge, as some of us do, you can live your life, and not be unsure if something is ok to do. I don't really think about right and wrong for me any more, I just do what I know works, and if I want to do something contrary to my lifestyle, I know what the consequenses are, can weigh them against the benefits of doing that one thing, and make an informed decision and move on.

Until you can do this, you'll never know how easy this is. It truly does become easy once you are confident in your ability to make informed decsions.

Amber42803

Well Said! I was thinking exactly the same thing! I AM new to all this, and to have had someone (though the intentions were no doubt good) tell me basically to shut up about what's going on with me, and just get over the fact that I'm not losing the weight, kinda stung. A lot of us don't know how long it's supposed to take, and a lot of us think it should happen immediately. In time we will learn that it takes patience and hard work, but for now, we're just needing guidance. Though it seems to me you too were simply venting (the orginal topic here) it's kinda rough on those of us who see someone who's had great success say basically to "stop whining, and complaining". It's not our intention to be bothersome, we just need a little help because we're not great pro's at this yet. I'm sure in the future I'll be able to be the one to say, "Hey, quite being so mellowdramatic, and relax" but until then, have a little understanding for those of us who are quite new at all this. We're trying to ease into it the best we can!

ALC




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Tri_Dad

Well said banks. As usual a fellow member of red sox nation does us proud. I used to worry about how long it would take until I realized that I am NOT on a diet. I have changed my lifestyle. As soon as I realized that this isn't just something temporary, I learned to sit back and enjoy the ride.

SHBoss1673

Well Said! I was thinking exactly the same thing! I AM new to all this, and to have had someone (though the intentions were no doubt good) tell me basically to shut up about what's going on with me, and just get over the fact that I'm not losing the weight, kinda stung. A lot of us don't know how long it's supposed to take, and a lot of us think it should happen immediately. In time we will learn that it takes patience and hard work, but for now, we're just needing guidance. Though it seems to me you too were simply venting (the orginal topic here) it's kinda rough on those of us who see someone who's had great success say basically to "stop whining, and complaining". It's not our intention to be bothersome, we just need a little help because we're not great pro's at this yet. I'm sure in the future I'll be able to be the one to say, "Hey, quite being so mellowdramatic, and relax" but until then, have a little understanding for those of us who are quite new at all this. We're trying to ease into it the best we can!

ALC

True enough, part of it was venting, but it was also meant to be informative and thought provoking. Netiquette requests us to search forums before posting a topic. Unfortunately many people either don't care or just don't know about net etiquette. Usually, Amber, the bad form you are talking about that someone posted about you, isn't really about you at all, but more about the amount of posts we see per day about the same topic. I've gone through it, even had to quit for a while partly because of it, but I have learned that discussing it and informing people is far more productive then just shutting down and ignoring the topic. I don't blame people for doing just that, but it would be better if we didn't need to feel that way (I think).

Amber42803

I agree full-heartedly. We, should use good net etiquette, after all it's only fair that we be considerate of others. Though, if like me, you have a busy life, and don't always have time to do the research, and you're looking for a quick answer, or even a few answers or advice, we sometimes forget that there are those out there (like yourself) who practice, and use etiquette, and do the research expected of us. On behalf of those of us, who don't always use proper etiquette, please forgive our follies, and bare with us. We will get the hang of it someday, and until then, just be patient, and understanding! You have already offered myself some great advice prevoiusly, and for that I thank you! Keep doing what you're doing, and I for one will try my hand at being more, curtious! :happy:







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