feeling invisible, but don't want to be whiney ):

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jezlightyear
jezlightyear Posts: 167 Member
in Motivation and Support
:brokenheart: recently i've stopped putting the effort in to talk to people, because i've noticed that i'm always the one initiating any contact. to my surprise, a lot of people have simply not spoken to me... so this has left me feeling a little bit deflated, but mostly just happy that i saw it sooner rather than later.

at this precise moment in time, i'm just feeling very alone in a lot of things.. my parents and friends aren't involved in my lifestyle change and i'm not sure i WANT them to be involved, but some sort of encouragement would be nice. all i get from my closest friends is 'you don't need to lose more weight', but it's for ME now. not for them.

if anyone can relate, or wants to come have some hugs then message me? :sick:

/end life story

Replies

  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I can relate. Often if I want to discuss something with someone I have to start the conversation. If I want to hang out, I have to call people and organize it.

    That's just the way of the world.
  • lukeout007
    lukeout007 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    Same here...it does frustrate me and makes me feel alone a lot of the time.
  • musicgirl88
    musicgirl88 Posts: 504 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean...it's like I'm not good enough to talk to....so I don't even usually try to talk to people first because I feel like I'm just bugging them and they get these looks like "I can't believe this fat girl is talking to me".....People are nicer to skinny people...I've witnessed it and it sucks
  • GuruOnAMountain
    GuruOnAMountain Posts: 489 Member
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    I can relate a little. I've fallen off the radar of a lot of my friends these days since I'm doing a PhD and I'm busy all the time these days and can't always see them. I try to text them and email them and stuff but don't often get replies, but meh, I'm doing the PhD for my future and if they can't handle that, then that's just too bad, I guess.
  • GuruOnAMountain
    GuruOnAMountain Posts: 489 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean...it's like I'm not good enough to talk to....so I don't even usually try to talk to people first because I feel like I'm just bugging them and they get these looks like "I can't believe this fat girl is talking to me".....People are nicer to skinny people...I've witnessed it and it sucks

    Agreed. I actually seen a video once about a girl who dolled herself up and went and done stuff like tried to get a free bus ride, a free taxi ride, ask people for some change on the street etc. and she pretty much got whatever she wanted but when she was dressed ordinary then she got turned down and actually got a bit of verbal abuse.

    Yup sexy, skinny people have it better. Lol.
  • Babybirdganz
    Babybirdganz Posts: 108 Member
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    When people don't make the lifestyle change they usually don't understand everything that comes with it.

    I tried getting my friends started on MFP and they got on... for a week. Now whenever they see me using it they make comments like "oh you're still doing that" Always commenting on me making the healthier choice, that they can't go out to lunch with me because I make them feel bad about what they're eating....

    Just realize that its Ok, you have a plan :)

    Maybe if you tried reaching out to someone and telling them that this is something you really want and you need someones support to keep you going? Reach out!! Don't try and go through alone!!!!
  • kcyr1214
    kcyr1214 Posts: 5
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    It may surprise you, but your friends may be feeling exactly the same way about some part of their life. Go ahead, initiate a conversation, send a text. Try it with someone you don't usually connect with. You never know what you might find. Look for buddies here with goals similar to your own, your age group, who live in your area or -- who live in an area you would like to live! Be adventurous. Make yourself smile first, then pass it on, it's contagious.
  • 1996gtstang
    1996gtstang Posts: 279 Member
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    most of my friends eat/drink alot so i'm in hermit mode while i get used to a healthy lifestyle. its much easier not interacting with people lol
  • shanghaiskinny2be
    shanghaiskinny2be Posts: 21
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    It sucks. It's nice to have someone initiate contact, it makes you feel special. I wish my boyfriend initiated more.

    AS for support, you can have my mom. She is too gung ho about the weight loss that she goes overboard. She likes to read my diary and tell me what I should not have eaten. I work out so I need food and chinese medicine is making me **** a lot. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

    ARRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    maybe you should try screaming.
  • jezlightyear
    jezlightyear Posts: 167 Member
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    thank you guys, all of you. it means a lot that even one person replied to this, let alone a handful of you.
    i feel silly because there could be so much worse going on in my life and i should just smile and be thankful, but we all know how it feels to be emotionally exhausted.. sometimes we just need a shoulder.
    you guys are my shoulder. thank you, from the bottom of my heart. <3
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I can definitely relate. When they need an ear or a shoulder they are running to you, but general everyday pleasantries are rarely (if ever) initiated by those friends.
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
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    I completely emphathize with you-- getting the same from a bunch of friends. I started running 5Ks on Saturday ams, and am now good friends with some of my 5K buddies.
    Some of this may be you finding new friends who have some of the same interests as you do now--- is there a healthy cooking class offered at a local college? An exercise class you can take? Any 5Ks you can run? Just anything to be around other like-minded people?

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