Has anyone ever had a DR. that put you down?

ladywolfkahn

I ask because.....Let me start at 6 months ago.....My RA doc had/has me on all kinds of meds for my RA, they caught in more advance stage for someone my age (so they say) Since the meds were not doing what he thought they should fast enough he put me on pred. well I gained 15 pounds in one month! I wigged, this was end of Nov for the pred. He swore it wasnt the pred. but what else could it be, I had been losing weight before the pred. yes it was slow but was steady. My regular DR. I seen her at end of Dec 2011 and she said that yes the pred. could cause weight gain, the amount depends on the person. She agreed with me that was more than likely cause of it. Well RA dr wanted me to stay on pred for 6-10 months...I chose to go off of it on my own at end of Dec. Seen RA dr at beginning of Jan 2012, he walks into the room and seriously started yelling at me for being morbidley (sp ck) obiese. That my RA wasnt going to get any better if I didnt go on a major diet NOW. Not even a hi, hello, how are you from him. Needless to say I burst into tears. I had never been treated like that and didnt know how to handle it. He then demanded to know what I weighed when I graduated, well about 100-110. He said that is what I should weigh now (he was 153 when he got out of school and is still 153 in his early 60's-big flipping deal) By this time I was past tears and was in fight mode. He didnt get it when I tried telling him the only reason I was so small back then is I was trying to be like the "other girls" and would eat then vomit to point I burned throat from stomach acids. He didnt want to hear it, I stormed out of there at this point. I know I am over weight, but sheesh learn a little better bedside manners for heaven's sake. This has bothered me and other than telling my regular doc. (whom is trying to find another RA doc for me in the area as I dont drive all that much -thats another story) I needed to vent a little bit and see if I am only one who this has ever happened to. He didnt offer any suggestions or help or anything like that just tore into me. I refuse to go back, I would rather suffer the RA pain than deal with *kitten* (sorry but to me that is what he is) like him.
Ad just to be clear. I started MFP Jan 4th, still eating roughly same stuff I was before when I was slowly losing, I just log it all on here now instead of a notebook lol, but since stopping the pred. I have 4 pounds to go before I lose that 15 pounds. so I still think it was the pred for that poundage.
Thanks for letting me rant...stepping off soapbox now....
Tina

ket_the_jet

He's a doctor. Half of his job is telling a person something he or she might not want to hear.

That said, the other half is using years of education and training to help his patients become the healthiest people possible. I'd let this one slide.
-wtk

rammsteinsoldier

My daughter had a similar experience with her pediatrician believe it or not. She has had a weight problem for a long time and has struggled to diet and exercise but was on medications that caused her to gain weight. Anyway, the doctor just told her that she was obese in this horrible tone of voice and had to get the weight off. She even curled her lip like she was disgusted. The doctor gave her no suggestions or ideas to help. It hurt my daughter so much that she refused to ever go back to that doctor.

You do not have to take nasty behaviour from your doctor. That is unacceptable. I don't care who he is. He should be more professional and caring.

bikermike5094

Lst time i was at the doc, he proceeded to tell me what kind of symtoms I would probably experience if I ever had a heart attack. WTF?????

ladywolfkahn

He's a doctor. Half of his job is telling a person something he or she might not want to hear.

That said, the other half is using years of education and training to help his patients become the healthiest people possible. I'd let this one slide.
-wtk

I have no problem being told I am over weight, its the truth. It was the way he went about it. Was very hurtful. When all the times before at visits not ONCE did he ever bring it up. Either way I will not be going back to him so I guess its my way of letting it slide lol.
(training? um they go to training to learn cruelty to their patients-ooookaaay)
Just wanted to get my rant in I guess and to get it off my chest so to speak.
Thanks
Tina

marsellient

Some of them just don't listen. We found a new GP because of that. He never did it to me, but whatever my daughter went to see him about (like psoriasis!!) his answer was to lose weight. Now she was working on it, but he wouldn't listen to that, and wouldn't give any advice (like perhaps physio for a knee problem, which she'd have no matter what her weight).He didn't have a clue who you were when you went to see him. Made me feel like I was just a collection of parts. Not good enough...we moved on. I now have a GP who actually knows who I am, even though I don't see her that often. Sounds like you need to do the same.

ElizabethRoad

He's a doctor. Half of his job is telling a person something he or she might not want to hear.

That said, the other half is using years of education and training to help his patients become the healthiest people possible. I'd let this one slide.
-wtk

What is NOT part of his job: Yelling at patients. Recommending that they get down to a weight they previously achieved with bulimia. Refusing to listen to patients.

karenjoy

He should have told you to lose weight, it would be ridiculous to see a Dr who DIDN'T as if you are MORBIDLY OBESE it means it is killing you, but he should do it without shouting and also offer advice and support.

People find talking to people who are overweight difficult. I have a friend who is a cardiac surgeon, I was at a party at his house and he was passing round food, he walked past one of our mutual friends husbands and said 'you can't have any of this, you are too fat' and later told him to diet and start to exercise or he would die...I think they just struggle to know HOW to get the message across, it is an important message and overweight people are VERY VERY sensitive, so its difficult all round. I am sorry you were upset, but I suspect he had your best interest at heart and just handled it badly

ket_the_jet

It was the way he went about it. Was very hurtful. When all the times before at visits not ONCE did he ever bring it up. Either way I will not be going back to him so I guess its my way of letting it slide lol.(training? um they go to training to learn cruelty to their patients-ooookaaay)

Maybe the way he went about it was hurtful, but what has it accomplished? If nothing else, you're considering what was said. You're posting it here, which means you've considered finding aid for your weight loss [at least in the last month]. If nothing else, what he said got to you. Rude or not, it was effective.

Your physicians may have never brought it up the weight gain before, but what has changed since your last trip to the doctor's office? Besides your weight, your age. Certain risk factors increase significantly at particular ages. No longer taking your prescribed medication? Your self-diagnosis could have offended the doctor. I would never go to Boeing and tell them how to build my airplane because that's not something in which I have any background or specialized training. So he could have been upset and saying, "If you want to do this your way, do it your way."

I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Let's face it, the role of a doctor is not the glorious career it used to be. Rather than a well-respected community leader, doctors now move with targets on the back, sued at the slightest mistake. I can't think of a career with higher insurance costs [except, perhaps orthodontics]. They are regularly challenged by the sort of amateur diagnoses that you or I could find on Google, and are repeatedly having to re-up their licenses as new procedures and drugs are discovered and implemented.

That said, rheumatoid arthritis or not, you are set up for success in losing weight. You have ten dogs...maybe steadily increase the time or distance that you walk them? Or take the dogs out in groups of two or three rather than larger walks with more of the dogs. Swimming easy on the joints. There are a lot of low-impact/contact activities you can take up, but like I said, you have ten living pieces of exercise equipment at home...so get those dogs outside!
-wtk

scapez

I love how people automatically side with what a Doctor says because it might be the truth, you don't want to hear it, etc. etc. Just because one has a medical degree it does not make them all-knowing nor does it excuse them from poor behavior.

Doctors are like anyone else you go to for advice or expertise...they can be hired and they can be fired.

If your Doc isn't doing right by you - then by all means, fire him/her and find a better one.

jcstanton

Went to see a doctor years ago for an acute ear infection. I had never been to him before that. He walks into the room and proceeds to ask me about my weight: "Have you always been overweight?", "How much water do you drink every day?", "Are you currently making an effort to lose weight?", "Do you exercise regularly?", etc... After about five minutes of this line of questioning, I said, "Excuse me, Dr. _______, I appreciate your concern, but I didn't come here for advice about my weight. I'm in serious pain, and I'm running a high fever. Do you think we could work on the ear infection for now? We can always come back to the weight issue at a later date." He then proceeded to tell me that, while he understood that I was in pain because of my ear, he was more concerned about the serious consequences of long term obesity. At this point I became frustrated and said something like, "With all due respect, I weigh myself every week. I cry everytime I have to go buy new clothes because I can't find anything to wear that makes me feel good about the way I look. I worry every time I'm going to sit in a chair that it will buckle under my weight. Trust me, I'm fully aware that I'm obese. I don't need a doctor to tell me that. Not to mention, there are other health problems of which you're not aware that contribute to the obesity." He said in a very condescending tone, and I quote, "Well, I've got health problems too, but I'm not 5'4" and 230lbs." I couldn't help myself, I looked pointedly at his rather paunchy gut and said without hesitation, "You may not be 100lbs overweight, but you're CERTAINLY no light weight! Look, do us both a favor, just give me something to help this ear infection, and I won't be troubling you again....EVER!!!" He gave me antibiotics and a Rx for pain, and sent me on my way. That was about ten or eleven years ago. He has since retired, and I now work in the records office of the same medical facility where he practiced.

karenjoy

I work in health and part of my job that is the most difficult is telling people that their children are 'not in proportion' that is what we have to say, because we are not able to use the word 'overweight' or 'obese' or 'morbidly obese' My boss does not want the complaints and press attention that will bring, meanwhile we are ***** footing around the parents of MASSIVELY overweight children saying 'not in proportion' which they ignore...maybe he HAD been telling you about your weight before, but you just didn't hear him.

I also think the above posters advice about dog walking is FABULOUS, free and excellent exercise for you and your dogs.

LilBee82

When I was 14 I was having really bad knee pain.

and my doc said, word for word. "You're fat, lose weight."

Needless to say I found a woman doctor who then treated me for my pain, got a couple shots for the pain and went to physio to strengthen my knee ligaments. And I have had no pain since.

Bethee101

Sometimes I don't think we really realize how much pressure and stress that our docs are under. If he is trying to treat your health and you choose to ignore his treatment plan that can be pretty scary for him. If anything were to happen to you and they find out he is the doc that treated you, his *kitten* is on the line. Sometimes docs will tell you like it is and not try to sugar coat it. They deliver wake up calls. If a doc says you are going to die if you don;t lose weight, they are prob right and their form of delivery will stick in your mind. They are not "friends", they are medical professionals.

Docs are just people... they have bad days too.

TheRoadDog

I want my Dr to be truthful and direct. If he is saying something I might not want to hear, so be it. As long as it's truthful.

brandyosu

I was a consultant in the healthcare industry for 10 years and I interviewed hundreds of doctors in various specialties over that period of time. There are a lot of stereotypes floating around about physician specialties, and I can say there is a REASON those stereotypes exist. (Sure, there are exceptions to the rule, I met many a doc that didn't seem remotely like the stereotype for their chosen specialty.) At any rate, rheumatologists are known to be grumpy a**ses with poor bedside manner. That said, it was not appropriate for him to yell at you or berate you. You can either choose to 1) let it slide and hope it doesn't happen again 2) discuss it with him calmly and tell him you will not allow him to speak to you in such a manner or 3) find someone else whose personality and bedside manner is more to your liking. The only problem with #3 is that rheumatologists are in such short supply in many places that the waits to see them (depending on where you live) can be 6 months or more.

jcstanton

I work in health and part of my job that is the most difficult is telling people that their children are 'not in proportion' that is what we have to say, because we are not able to use the word 'overweight' or 'obese' or 'morbidly obese' My boss does not want the complaints and press attention that will bring, meanwhile we are ***** footing around the parents of MASSIVELY overweight children saying 'not in proportion' which they ignore...maybe he HAD been telling you about your weight before, but you just didn't hear him.

I also think the above posters advice about dog walking is FABULOUS, free and excellent exercise for you and your dogs.

I agree with healthcare professionals needing to be candid with people about their weight. I don't think there is anything wrong with using the terms overweight, obese, or morbidly obese as they are clinical terms. I think that's carrying the sensivity a bit too far. Fat, chunky, lard butt....THESE are derogatory terms and should never be used to refer to someone's size. However, when someone comes in for an ear infection or is in serious pain that has nothing to do with being overweight, that is not the time to back them into a corner and wag your finger in their face. I think, for example, that I was more than clear with the doctor that I was willing to have an open discussion about the weight issue at a later date, but he wasn't listening to me. I want to work WITH my doctor to resolve my health care issues. I will not stay with a doctor that has the attitude of, "I'm the doctor. I'm always right, you're always wrong, so it's my way or the highway." As far as ladywolfkahn's problem, I think her complaint about her doctor had less to do with the fact that he told her she needed to lose weight, and more to do with the fact that HE put her on a medication that has a known side effect of causing weight gain. When she tried to point out that this may be why she had gained weight over the last month in spite of the fact that she had been LOSING weight PRIOR to being on the medication, he refused to listen to her and work with her on finding another medication that might work to help her pain without causing weight gain. The issue is not that our doctor tells us, even in a candid and tactless manner, that we need to lose weight. The problem arises when he/she tells us this, and then doesn't LISTEN to anything we have to say on the subject.

ladywolfkahn

maybe he HAD been telling you about your weight before, but you just didn't hear him.

I also think the above posters advice about dog walking is FABULOUS, free and excellent exercise for you and your dogs.

I am sorry but that first line that I quoted made me laugh. Its just funny to me, every appt (which was every 2 months), he would come in room, shake my hand, ask how I was doing with pain and joint swelling, proceed to feel hand/leg/ankle joints to check swelling, write a little bit in his notes and out the door he goes. Yup we talked about my weight...not

I only just wanted to know if anyone else had run into a rude dr like him or if I was only one and maybe how you handled it. Ive seen alot of Dr's and specialist since I was a baby (issues not weight related by the way and do not want to go into on here) that never ever treated me like that.

Update---- (come to find out he is like this with alot of his women patients-not just ones with weight issues--not with the males though, least no one has filed complaint about him that was male)- found this out little bit ago as I had called reg doc to see if she had found a new RA doc she can refer me to and she had me come into office to speak with her concerning RA doc in question-and some other things) BUT the good news is she did find me new RA specialist and also got my insurance to agree to pay for transpo. to and from appt. as they are in a city 45 minutes from me.

So in nutshell I guess this is not important anymore.


As for walking the dogs- already doing that and have been for the 10 plus years Ive been with the rescue, when cant be walked due to weather (for them) I chase/play with them in house so they get their exercise....this is daily and at least 3-4 times a day.

Lyndi4

I love how people automatically side with what a Doctor says because it might be the truth, you don't want to hear it, etc. etc. Just because one has a medical degree it does not make them all-knowing nor does it excuse them from poor behavior.

Doctors are like anyone else you go to for advice or expertise...they can be hired and they can be fired.

If your Doc isn't doing right by you - then by all means, fire him/her and find a better one.

^^This^^ I hope you are able to find a new doctor who is more skilled in both medicine and tact. Berating your patients will not help them. It sounds like you were motivated to want to lose weight anyway, maybe you just needed an extra push. He should have been supporting and encouraging you instead of trying to shame and scare you into weight loss.

rileamoyer

Definately find another RA Specialist! I have RA and was on predinsone for 2 1/2 years before I got totally weaned. It contributed about 20 lbs (plus pie face) to the extra weight I gained in my 40s/50s. My RA Dr. worked with me to wean me off (It took the last year of the 2 1/2 years) but it did work miracles in getting my physical motion back. He never once critized my weight and cheered me consistantly as I tried to lose it (as did my regular dr.). My regular Dr encouraged me to lose, but never critized. Now he is one of my bigger fans and recommends MFP to other patients. So

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find that new Dr.! PS: For many years male drs. tended to discount what women patients told them as all their medical training was geared to 'men' as the average patient and the medical community did not fully understand the differences in manifistation of health disorders from men to women. It was not a new experience with an old male dr. Pretty standard I found over the years).