You Just Can't Win

nikii14

So we are all here to better ourselves which is such a great thing, right?
and its even better when we start seeing results and we start feeling like we are accomplishing our goals.... Then you hear...... "you're getting too skinny!"

Now, some of you may take this as a compliment, which it is to a point. But it tends to aggrevate me. Im not skinny, you are just so used to me being bigger.

Now I think to myself, I don't want people looking at me as "skinny" or "scrawny" I want them to see me as "healthy" and taking care of myself.

Will I ever be able to please people, including myself?

Thanks for letting me vent!

nikii14

So we are all here to better ourselves which is such a great thing, right?
and its even better when we start seeing results and we start feeling like we are accomplishing our goals.... Then you hear...... "you're getting too skinny!"

Now, some of you may take this as a compliment, which it is to a point. But it tends to aggrevate me. Im not skinny, you are just so used to me being bigger.

Now I think to myself, I don't want people looking at me as "skinny" or "scrawny" I want them to see me as "healthy" and taking care of myself.

Will I ever be able to please people, including myself?

Thanks for letting me vent!

kerrilucko

no, I agree with you, "skinny" is not a compliment. slim, slender, trim, lean, fit, healthy, THOSE are compliments. I'm getting the "don't lose anymore, you're already so skinny" comments now, which are total bull because I'm still at the high end of my healthy BMI- and I'm happy with how I look, don't get me wrong, but there's no fear of me wasting away! I guess people just get concerned and or jealous, try to ignore it, or, even better, straight up tell them that being called "skinny" is insulting and to knock it off if they want to continue to be part of your life. :flowerforyou:

72lori

I always figure pleasing others isn't really all that important. Sure sometimes what they say hurts, but ultimately, please yourself. You know you are making changes to be healthier and in the long run, you will be.

At Christmas my family tried telling me I looked great and should stop losing. I started at 200 pounds, was 170 then. I still had 20-25 pounds to go! I take it for what it's worth and keep doing my thing!

Just for the record. If somebody calls me skinny, I'm huggin' 'em.

72lori

no, I agree with you, "skinny" is not a compliment. slim, slender, trim, lean, fit, healthy, THOSE are compliments. I'm getting the "don't lose anymore, you're already so skinny" comments now, which are total bull because I'm still at the high end of my healthy BMI- and I'm happy with how I look, don't get me wrong, but there's no fear of me wasting away! I guess people just get concerned and or jealous, try to ignore it, or, even better, straight up tell them that being called "skinny" is insulting and to knock it off if they want to continue to be part of your life. :flowerforyou:

I think my family thinks I'm going to waste away too! Fat chance (no pun intended) on that one. It's hard to waste away when you eat! I'm still in the overweight category on BMI, I'm not stopping. I guess they get used to looking at us differently. I did, afterall, weigh the same, unhealthy weight for at least 13 years.

kerrilucko

no, I agree with you, "skinny" is not a compliment. slim, slender, trim, lean, fit, healthy, THOSE are compliments. I'm getting the "don't lose anymore, you're already so skinny" comments now, which are total bull because I'm still at the high end of my healthy BMI- and I'm happy with how I look, don't get me wrong, but there's no fear of me wasting away! I guess people just get concerned and or jealous, try to ignore it, or, even better, straight up tell them that being called "skinny" is insulting and to knock it off if they want to continue to be part of your life. :flowerforyou:

I think my family thinks I'm going to waste away too! Fat chance (no pun intended) on that one. It's hard to waste away when you eat! I'm still in the overweight category on BMI, I'm not stopping. I guess they get used to looking at us differently. I did, afterall, weigh the same, unhealthy weight for at least 13 years.

Yes I know what you mean, my mom and sister are both overweight and have been for a long time, but even still I was always the largest of the 3 of us. I don't think they're jealous, really not at all, but I do think their perception of me is a bit warped.

ricksnaustin

My first questions is: Why are these people telling you that you are too skinny? What is their motive? Is it because they are concerned with your health? If so, fine and reassure them you are actually MORE healthy than ever. Is it because you are accomplishing something they can't, or won't? You know, misery loves company. If some people start to feel you are looking better than they do they will try to "reel you back into the cove" so you will remain as they are. If they accept your improvement that means they have to accept their flaws and possibly look in the mirror. Don't listen and feel free to stand up for yourself.

I lived so many years trying to please others and denying my own desires. Worrying more about what others thought than my own feelings. I was raised to believe that I should put others first and deny self. That is the Christian way, right? I still believe that to some extent. But totally ignoring your yourself is just as unhealthy as it is to be completely narcissistic in your way of thinking. In other words, sometimes it is okay to be selfish. Some times it is okay to ignore what other people think you should be doing. You might lose a view friendships, but that is okay too. They don't have your best interest at heart.

tennetubbie

I still have TEN pounds to get to the OVERWEIGHT goal (how sick is THAT)---and people are saying I'll blow away in a spring breeze!

I take it ALL as a compliment--as I am sure that is how it was intended---but I do joke it would still take a spring hurricane to blow me over!!! I have commented on those who are losing weight as "skinny a**" --I asked them asked them after reading this and they did not take offense---they loved it!!

I do find it amusing however that now I am over 50 I have more comments form older women about my *kitten* than from men---sigh---those were the days!!!!

I really want to be overweight for MAY !!! ROTFLMAO!!!


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elliott062907

So we are all here to better ourselves which is such a great thing, right?
and its even better when we start seeing results and we start feeling like we are accomplishing our goals.... Then you hear...... "you're getting too skinny!"

Now, some of you may take this as a compliment, which it is to a point. But it tends to aggrevate me. Im not skinny, you are just so used to me being bigger.

Now I think to myself, I don't want people looking at me as "skinny" or "scrawny" I want them to see me as "healthy" and taking care of myself.

Will I ever be able to please people, including myself?

Thanks for letting me vent!

Trade ya!!!

When I was pushing 300, I lost 47 lbs. When I finally got to buy regular clothes, if family went to the store with me, they said, well, you still have a ways to go?? That is cruel.


Then I started over and lost 18 more and co workers would say, is that on your diet? If I strayed 1 day. Like, is it any of their business?

Then I went through a bad divorce form an alcoholic and I gained 47 back. Got remairred and now happy and made it to 200, down again.

Now with my job and stress, I gained back in 2 years 47 again and now with this site and a few friends, lost 7 sine 3-18-09.

So my mother has the nerve to call everyday and say, are you still on your diet? What are you eating today??

Some encouragement, huh??

So now, only all people on this site, hubby, son and a few close friends are getting any info.


So I say, "CONGRATS", on your accomplishments and I would take it as a comliment!!!!

MyKids04

this is funny you are right you cant win but please yourself no one else. but as for myself I just started last wednesday and the first thing my husband tells me you can do this as long as you don't loose your butt, men.

GIBride01

this is funny you are right you cant win but please yourself no one else. but as for myself I just started last wednesday and the first thing my husband tells me you can do this as long as you don't loose your butt, men.

I'm laughing at your post, this weekend as I am patting my back pockets of my jeans walking into a store looking for ID my husband asked if I was looking for my butt, because he noticed I had lost it. Trust me I have a looonng way to go before I am 'buttless".

I am constantly amazed at what people consider to be appropriate comments and what is and isn't their business. I am and always have been at the upper end of a "healthy" BMI and weight. Even when I was playing sports and working out alot, I was never thin. I don't know the number of doctor visits where some genius actually said "Wow, you don't look like you weight that much" :noway: Seriously....the 'too skinny' comments are right up there with the "wow you are getting huge" comments people love to give 9 month pregnant women.

Vanessa1969

I think that part of it might be that they are just too used to seeing you heavier. Also there is a concern, when so many celebrities are looking like walking skeletons, that you might take it too far. Although I agree that it is not nice, and really none of their business, I think that they are genuinely concerned and don't know enough about what your healthy size should be.
I had a boyfriend who was overweight, and was taking diabetes medication, and lost weight to the point where he was taken off the meds. He looked great, but often I heard people describe him as 'gaunt'. Now that is just about as nasty as it gets - emaciated would probably be the only thing worse. He was the perfect size for his height, was much healthier, and to me he looked awesome. I just think people had gotten so used to his old size.