Falling off ... with MFP

Jasmin948

These past few days i have been neglecting entering into my food diary and my exercise tracker. Probably because i fell off. I gave into weakness. Weaknesses like just ordering pizza instead of taking the time to make healthier food. Setting myself for disaster, by not pre-planning my food (knowing that when i do not do that, i binge or snack like it's going out of style). and the biggest culprit EMOTIONAL EATING!!!!! DING DING!!!! :blushing: MFP shows you word for word and calorie for calories what you do. Whether it is good or not. So part of me did not want to see the amount of calories or fat, or sugars in red. Part of me did not want to see my favorite foods costing me a 1,092 calories of my 1300 in only one meal:noway: . Part of me was in denial. :sad::brokenheart:

DENIAL . . .

As the weight comes off many, i know i did not, realize the emotional work i would have to do. I now know it is the reason why the other weight loss programs before did not work. They were not bad i hit an emotional roadblock, but instead of dealing with it i retreated back to food.:ohwell: This week was a low point i even went back to eating late at night just to eat, i blamed everything around me instead of owning it, and i made excuses:embarassed: : "i'm going to a restaurant, i will eat healthy," then folding as the first sight of Alfredo anything ; the superbowl is fun, i cant be the stick in the mud eating the celery from the buffalo wings plate" or my favorite one... "I had a rough day i deserve that pint/quart of hagen daas ice cream, no questions asked."

I denied myself a better life by denying my mind and heart the ability to heal or handle emotional turmoil and baggage i have accumulated through the years. I owe it to myself.

This part of my journey will be the hardest, so i will take it one day at a time, and log in every single day no matter how "painful". After logging in my food i will sit back and ask myself: why did i eat what i ate? or how did today feel?.

Any comments ?
Questions?
Thanks:flowerforyou:

gemiwing

Congrats on getting back on track! Progress not perfection- right? That's what I tell myself anyway!