How to let go? I need to be happy!

shelbz09

As I try to do things to occupy my mind- it all rewinds back to the same spot. I have been having a very very hard time from my last weekend. It is affecting me to the point where I have to get it out, figure out how to let it go, move on and be happy! It’s holding me back from doing the things I want and need to do for my goals and myself.
What happened:--- My boyfriend/I friend lives out of town, he came in town and was going to stay with us. He brought his girlfriend who hates me (We had harsh words couple years ago but I apologized but that didn’t help) I welcomed them into my home, prepared the guest room/bed so they would feel comfortable. (I tried…even though she dislikes me and I (now) dislike her) Anyway…. They don’t hang out with us – she wont let the guys have guy time, they continue to fight outside my house, she stays in their car refusing to come in, later on she comes in, she doesn’t EVER talk to me, acknowledge me or reply to me when I say something to her. She whisperes in her boyfriends ear rather than talking outloud when we are all in a group or she texts him.. She invited her sister and boyfriend to my house I was very uncomfortable with it but agreed so everybody could have a good time. I go to the store come back to find that they left and left their car and stuff and didn’t invite us…. Anyway they never came later the next night they asked to say and came home at 330am. We were in bed. The next morning they immediately left…. They end up going back home the next day- I go to wish my friend happy birthday found out he deleted me on facebook. So I text him I get no reply…..
I am feeling LOST. Like I am hurt because weve been friends since 7th grade. Maybe she wont allow us to be friends? I feel like nobody like me anymore, all my friend have disappeared. Nobody wants to hang out. So im down about that. And down because im not happy about how I look or feel. Im just sad and don’t know how to move on or let go so I can be the person I need and want to be…
Any advice?

tinalatina

As I try to do things to occupy my mind- it all rewinds back to the same spot. I have been having a very very hard time from my last weekend. It is affecting me to the point where I have to get it out, figure out how to let it go, move on and be happy! It’s holding me back from doing the things I want and need to do for my goals and myself.
What happened:--- My boyfriend/I friend lives out of town, he came in town and was going to stay with us. He brought his girlfriend who hates me (We had harsh words couple years ago but I apologized but that didn’t help) I welcomed them into my home, prepared the guest room/bed so they would feel comfortable. (I tried…even though she dislikes me and I (now) dislike her) Anyway…. They don’t hang out with us – she wont let the guys have guy time, they continue to fight outside my house, she stays in their car refusing to come in, later on she comes in, she doesn’t EVER talk to me, acknowledge me or reply to me when I say something to her. She whisperes in her boyfriends ear rather than talking outloud when we are all in a group or she texts him.. She invited her sister and boyfriend to my house I was very uncomfortable with it but agreed so everybody could have a good time. I go to the store come back to find that they left and left their car and stuff and didn’t invite us…. Anyway they never came later the next night they asked to say and came home at 330am. We were in bed. The next morning they immediately left…. They end up going back home the next day- I go to wish my friend happy birthday found out he deleted me on facebook. So I text him I get no reply…..
I am feeling LOST. Like I am hurt because weve been friends since 7th grade. Maybe she wont allow us to be friends? I feel like nobody like me anymore, all my friend have disappeared. Nobody wants to hang out. So im down about that. And down because im not happy about how I look or feel. Im just sad and don’t know how to move on or let go so I can be the person I need and want to be…
Any advice?

@Shelbz...now it all makes sense. That situation your in is Negative. 1st of all....friend or no friend; they (the couple) are taking advantage of you. You need to mustar up the courage to tell them they are no longer welcome in your home especially the way they are treating you! I swear....Ungrateful....you know what's?! You need to cut the negitive ones out because they are bringing your whole moral down. IF he was your friend he wouldnt allow that regardless of his hating girlfriend.

I have been through this before and beat myself up and felt bad for myself because friends were mistreating me. But you know what? Where are they now?? Not here and I am happy! Maybe he is just (excuse the term) "whooped" and in love. Being in love can literately BLIND a person. When he lives life and realizes who he is with he will know he made a mistake mistreating you and you can mend your friendship from there. But until then you just have to let him take his path and you have to re-route yours. Stay focused on yourself and surround yourself with people who are interested in the same things as you (like fitness/school) and are positive!

We are here if you need us!!!

chaoticxinsane

Do not blame yourself for your friend's current significant other being... well, a horrible person. A few years ago I was in HIS place. My boyfriend was such a conniving slimeball that he was controlling me from behind my back. He'd log into my facebook and delete all of my friends, delete contacts out of my phone, even log into my online games and stalk my friends there. I didn't even KNOW he was doing it until just before I kicked him to the curb. Then the few friends I had in person, he'd behave in almost the exact same manner she is. It took me MONTHS to get all of the friends' trust back that he pushed away, and pushed ME into pushing away. I still feel guilty for putting him ahead of them. He felt threatened enough to throw a fit JUST over casual friendships. And at the time, I believed everything he said because I thought he loved me and at the time, I didn't think anyone else ever would. BOY was I wrong.

This is kinda harsh language, but she is a [stupid censor], and she is probably controlling him. Do not blame yourself for their behavior, do not blame him for being controlled. It is her fault, and her doing. When and if he gets away from her, he'll come back. If he doesn't, YOU deserve better treatment than that. It's hard, but as long as he's still with people like that, your friend may as well be a completely different person.

shelbz09

Thank you guys SO much. I really apperciate it! I think you are both very right! I think i know what to do now.. THANK YOU THANK YOU

olyrose

I have to agree with the ladies above here. It sounds like they were both extremely ungrateful and rude, and also sounds like they have some problems of their own. They acted very immature, and sometimes I think it's hard for really rude, immature people to be friends with kind, thoughtful, considerate adults (like yourself), because then they have to reflect on their behavior, and probably (hopefully) don't like what they see, not to mention they usually can't get away with that behavior for long.

You might be at a crossroads in your life, where you are moving onward and upward at a faster pace than some of your friends. I know that happened to me when I was younger, and it made me sad and lonely, and made me feel like there was something wrong with me, but now I have a great career, live in a wonderful city, have a great boyfriend, and they are all in the exact same place they were 15 years ago. I know you are doing great things with your life right now, so don't let anyone hold you back.