MFP Friends That Aren't Being Very Healthy.

smlamb33

I also struggle with this, as well. I hate to be negative but at the same time I want to help them and I also want to have friends that are equally as supportive as I am for them. I think that if it is a constant thing with them and they aren't being supportive of you, I don't see any reason that you should feel guilty about deleting them. However, if it's not their regular pattern and they are just going through a rough time, then I wouldn't want to delete them. However, if it may effect you to also start being unhealthy, then I don't see anything wrong with deleting them and surrounding yourself with more positive influences.

If you'd like, feel free to friend me! I am always looking for more friends that are supportive and healthy!

Crystal_Pistol

I do want to add that I WILL give feedback and watch over a period of time. If nothing changes, I'm done.

Srdking

If they are new give them sometime. Sometimes it can take a person months to actually get going down the right path. They stop then here they come back to give it another try. They are probably your friend because you are leading by example! Some people need stronger people to help motivate them. So it really just depends on when they start doing this. Eating under 1000 a day they will soon find out the body will get used to it and stop the weight loss. Not good to freak your body out and put it in starvation mode. Also not good to eat a bunch of junk one day and healthy the next, this only leads to little to no results. I know I have done it, in my younger years!

I actually have food allergies so I cannot just go and buy and eat what everyone else is eating. So my food diary looks all weird. But I try to stay around 1200 calories a day but sometimes it's really hard. You just get those days where your body just doesn't feel like eating. Or you get the same people who eat the samething almost everyday like me. Because I am limited. But if you are sick of them and they are annoying you, then remove them from your friends list. Because this isn't about them! This is about you, and what your goals are and what you are trying to accomplish. If they are distracting you, it's time to get friends who are really trying to achieve their goals.

There are tons of people on here following a healthy diet. I have many on my friends list! They are on here it's just a matter of where you find them.

gaylelynnbell

If they are really stressing you out, delete them. You are here for yourself and need to be surrounded by positive vibes.

engineman312

i'm friends with two girls that were both eating 700 calories or less a day. one is doing great and has upped her calories and has started feeling a lot better about her eating habits. she's improved with a lot of help and support.

one is still struggling with eating anything over the 900 calories, talks about purging all the time. i'm ready to cut ties with her. its just... there is only so much i can do.

KayteeBear

Honestly, if you've reached out and they are still doing the same thing then you'll have to ignore them or just delete them if you don't want to read about it. There's not much you can do but offer your support and advice.

onedayillbamilf

You shut up and myob

lilyflor

I would delete those friends that are not on the same path as you are... it sounds harsh but if you had offered help and seeing their status and wrong choices bother you or get you down in any way, then they are not really helping you in your journey. Surround your self with people that inspires you! that's what I would do, I my self tend to eat bellow my calories, not intentional but it's changing! (I change the goals mfp gave me for my own which is higher) so add me if you like

bethdris

I'm having some struggles with some of my MFP friends. So many people have really unhealthy habits. They are often eating REALLY low calories each day, wanting to go on silly fad diets, posting on their status how they ate a cookie and now they want to purge.

It's really hard because I know I'm no expert in weight loss but it's also frustrating too. I've tried to offer some helpful advice, but no one wants to listen to other opinions. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but when people are eating only 600 calories a day and working out for an hour, I know that cannot be healthy!

I don't want to not be friends with anyone on MFP just because they aren't being completely healthy because I know I'm not doing everything completely right in this whole weight loss journey. It's hard though because I want positive inspirations and motivation around! During this journey, I really want to be surrounded by positive people!

Sounds like its time to clean up your friends list!

I don't know, what does everyone else do in these type of situations? Keep your mouth shut? Try to be supportive as you can? Only be MFP friends with the positive, healthy individuals you want to see on your news feed? Lemee know.

asho024ashton

i argree with some of the people on here it depends on there situation. you can never know exactly what that person is going through.... i am only eating 800 calories a day but under doctor supervision. lost of ppl would have medical reasons for this.
i get the cookie people thou maybe just suggest some healthier ways to them. if they dont respond to that delete

Veronika80

That's where I am deleting people...I feel I try to support all my friends and they dont always do the same for me that is frustrating...You know what they say if you can't change the people around you change the people around you!! and DELETE

+1!!!!

You can be my friend if you want! hehe I'm new here, and don't speak a good english but I'm trying!

1sweetpea70

As someone who is in recovery for an ED, or eating disorder, i find it sad that you would judge or even delete someone for that. Maybe stop to think that this is their last hope. Recovery is a journey in and of itself. Many people with an ED dont choose to have one. Weight loss is a journey as well. Would you delete the overweight person who cant STOP eating? Sometimes someone with an ED has no friends because people are ignorant and judgemental about things they cant or dont understand. I'd never turn away someone for having a disease. Thats what an ED is by the way. Its hard enough trying to get healthy and harder still to stay that way. I can honestly say im glad i dont have any of you as a friend for support cuz clearly, i wouldnt get any. Sorry but i'll take someone who understands over someone who has no clue any day.

hmb0626

Feel free to add me, always looking for friends.. And if I eat a cookie (and I will), I'll just count for it.. With everything its moderation, and I'm not going to deprive myself of something I want and be miserable...

FitLink

I'm having some struggles with some of my MFP friends. So many people have really unhealthy habits. They are often eating REALLY low calories each day, wanting to go on silly fad diets, posting on their status how they ate a cookie and now they want to purge.

It's really hard because I know I'm no expert in weight loss but it's also frustrating too. I've tried to offer some helpful advice, but no one wants to listen to other opinions. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but when people are eating only 600 calories a day and working out for an hour, I know that cannot be healthy!

I don't want to not be friends with anyone on MFP just because they aren't being completely healthy because I know I'm not doing everything completely right in this whole weight loss journey. It's hard though because I want positive inspirations and motivation around! During this journey, I really want to be surrounded by positive people!

I don't know, what does everyone else do in these type of situations? Keep your mouth shut? Try to be supportive as you can? Only be MFP friends with the positive, healthy individuals you want to see on your news feed? Lemee know.

I understand. I had an account on MFP about a year ago, and friended a few people, but I'm an aspie, and I'm physically disabled so I'm pretty limited as to what kinds of exercise I can do. Being aspie, I don't read people very well and am usually taken wrong, and walking with a crutch means I really ca't run. I'm not able to stand to do much food prep either, so my diet is often not ideal. I'd like to be supportive, but it's not a skill aspies possess. (And it's one we're usually not successful in learning very well.) Not being able to say the right things to the people I friended was just too stressful and I just stopped logging in. When I found out MFP was integrated with FitBit, which I've been using more than a year as well, I came back, but not to that account because I don't know what to say to the people I friended before. I get that it's better for everyone if I don't commit to friending someone, but now the friend requests are piling up and I'm getting nervous.

I have to say, though, I can't see how it would be helpful to offer negative feedback unless it was specifically asked for. When people ask on the forums for feedback, if I have some, I give it. I assume people wouldn't ask unless they wanted to know.

taso42

As someone who is in recovery for an ED, or eating disorder, i find it sad that you would judge or even delete someone for that. Maybe stop to think that this is their last hope. Recovery is a journey in and of itself. Many people with an ED dont choose to have one. Weight loss is a journey as well. Would you delete the overweight person who cant STOP eating? Sometimes someone with an ED has no friends because people are ignorant and judgemental about things they cant or dont understand. I'd never turn away someone for having a disease. Thats what an ED is by the way. Its hard enough trying to get healthy and harder still to stay that way. I can honestly say im glad i dont have any of you as a friend for support cuz clearly, i wouldnt get any. Sorry but i'll take someone who understands over someone who has no clue any day.

You make an excellent and very important point here. There are certainly people on this site who are are working very hard to overcome eating disorders. This is a special case which requires special consideration. For example, someone the person who is netting 600 calories may have been netting 500 last week and 400 the week before that, and therefore getting better and better.

But I don't think the spirit of the OP's post here was to bash ED people whatsoever. But rather the people who are blatantly disregarding good nutritional guidelines and/or the pro-ana types.

LynneWyre

I joined MFP to track my exercise and food, without any intention of monitoring what anyone else is doing.
I'm kind of confused by this whole thread.

silverchick

As someone who is in recovery for an ED, or eating disorder, i find it sad that you would judge or even delete someone for that. Maybe stop to think that this is their last hope. Recovery is a journey in and of itself. Many people with an ED dont choose to have one. Weight loss is a journey as well. Would you delete the overweight person who cant STOP eating? Sometimes someone with an ED has no friends because people are ignorant and judgemental about things they cant or dont understand. I'd never turn away someone for having a disease. Thats what an ED is by the way. Its hard enough trying to get healthy and harder still to stay that way. I can honestly say im glad i dont have any of you as a friend for support cuz clearly, i wouldnt get any. Sorry but i'll take someone who understands over someone who has no clue any day.

You make an excellent and very important point here. There are certainly people on this site who are are working very hard to overcome eating disorders. This is a special case which requires special consideration. For example, someone the person who is netting 600 calories may have been netting 500 last week and 400 the week before that, and therefore getting better and better.

But I don't think the spirit of the OP's post here was to bash ED people whatsoever. But rather the people who are blatantly disregarding good nutritional guidelines and/or the pro-ana types.

That is a good point and my intention really is not to delete anyone who isn't eating "perfect" like I said before. Lots of people have brought up good points that I never really thought about (like if they are going through a hard time right now or are new to weight loss and just learning about the process) and I think they definitely need the support and shouldn't be deleted. I think in those situations if I'm offering advice and someone sends me a private message and explains that, then I definitely would understand and try to support though! My biggest issue is when I send a message to them and recommend they eat more calories and they get really defensive and angry with me. I understand maybe they don't want to explain themselves to me, I just have a hard time trying to remain positive when I see a lot of negativity on my news feed. I honestly have no judgement toward people who are struggling with ED or personal issues,I'm sorry if these comments have upset you.

Kristinemomof3

but my common sense is pretty spot on (*pats self on back*) :drinker:

I loved this! Made me LOL!

lovesweetlove

That would be frustrating. I make sure that the 'friends' on MFP have similar goals in common and that I can relate to them and their diet and exercise.

kittenmitton

So....don't be friends with them? Are you on here to make yourself healthier or to make other people healthier? If the answer is to make other people healthier, you're on here for the wrong reasons.

I too have an ED and I really wouldn't care if someone deleted me because of it. I'm not their problem and I would honestly feel more offended if someone tried giving me advice about my ED rather than deleting me as a friend.