Death of a loved one

determinedash

Hello all,

I recently lost my grandmother - a woman who was always there for me and was my best friend. I am trying to get back on track after this and get back to happier times before everything happened, and I was on track. I am an emotional eater, and I'm trying not to fall into that downhill slide again. Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you get through it? Thanks!

Chagama

My Dad passed away, completely unexpectedly, four years ago. It was very hard. I definitely went through some depression. I also stopped running. I enjoy the quiet and solitude while running. That was always my time to just think about things, get my thoughts in order, try and resolve issues, etc. Well, I didn't want any quiet time to just think after he passed away, I would find myself thinking about him and missing him. So I stopped running. Which of course gave me more time to eat.

Looking back, I should have found some other form of exercise that didn't involve that quiet time by myself. Either run with someone else, get involved in a team sport, etc.

In terms of getting over the loss, it just takes time, there really isn't anything you can do, and everyone is different. I saw my wife take over a year to get back into a good mental place after her father passed away. I took 8 or 9 months before I was ready to deal with the world again. Just give it time and don't fight it.

luvmybaby333

When I was 20, I lost my mom. I gained 50 pounds that first year. Over the next few years I gained another 50+. I don't have any fabulous advice. It's been 7 years and I'm still trying to cope. I'm *just now* getting a handle on my health. Unfortunately, coming down from 269 pounds is going to be a lot harder that it would have been to come down from 200 after the initial weight gain. I guess my point is that you just have to push on. Your grandmother would want to know that you are happy, healthy, and thriving. The best thing you can do to honor her memory is to take extra good care of yourself. Every time you feel the urge to 'eat a feeling', think instead about how proud your grandma would be of you for making healthy decisions and getting the most out of your life.

(((HUGEINTERWEBSHUGS))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

LoraF83

My thought is this: You can celebrate the life of the person you loved by making your life the best it can be.

Your grandmother loved you and wanted you to have a healthy, happy life. Honor her memory by taking care of yourself.....so you can live a long life and be there for your grandchildren like she was for you.

ishallnotwant

I hit my highest weight shortly after my grandmother passed in 2005. She was like another mom to me. She had a pretty intense battle with cancer, and our family pretty much just sat around together eating the whole time she was sick while we were at her house. I had given birth to my 5th baby in August of 2004, and walked out of the hospital at 165 pounds. My little sister (and best friend) went to Iraq for the holidays with her marine unit for the 2nd battle for Fallujah, and grandma was diagnosed a month or two later. It was literally one of the most hellish times of my entire life. My grandma passed in Feb of 2005, and by May of 2005 I was up to 190 pounds. I was so depressed, and just eating all the time. It was awful. I gained 25 pounds in the 9 months FOLLOWING my pregnancy.

Is there any way that you can try to use activity as a form of comfort? Do you get comfort from others? Maybe reach out to some friends? I'm the type of person who needs to be alone when i'm grieving. I can't stand other people being around me or trying to hug me or touch me, so reaching out to others wouldn't work for me. I've had some traumatic things happen in life since 2005 and now I find that I tend to lose my appetite rather than wanting to eat. I like to go for long walks alone or sit in my room with some loud music on. A good workout can sometimes ease the feelings of sadness or frustration. I feel so much for you, I still my my grandma terribly. It's so hard to deal with the loss of a loved one, but it does fade a bit over time and get easier.

I agree with the poster who stated that you can honor your grandmother's life by taking good care of yourself. If my grandma saw what I let myself get to, I know it would have really upset her.

The anniversary of my grandmother's death is coming up on February 19th... it still hurts, but not nearly as bad as the first few years did.

PBmaria

Hello all,

I recently lost my grandmother - a woman who was always there for me and was my best friend. I am trying to get back on track after this and get back to happier times before everything happened, and I was on track. I am an emotional eater, and I'm trying not to fall into that downhill slide again. Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you get through it? Thanks!

Thankfully, I haven't had to experience this but my advice would be think about what your grandmother would want for you. She wouldn't wanna see you eating your feelings out and getting down. She would LOVE to see a healthy and active you
Best of luck and I'm sorry for your loss.

MisdemeanorM

Hello all,

I recently lost my grandmother - a woman who was always there for me and was my best friend. I am trying to get back on track after this and get back to happier times before everything happened, and I was on track. I am an emotional eater, and I'm trying not to fall into that downhill slide again. Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you get through it? Thanks!

I'm getting back on track after losing my son in December. I stress eat and I had spent 5 months in the hospital with him pity eating. Luckily I was breastfeeding so I didn't gain, but I would have packed it on otherwise. I've already gained 5+ lbs in the 3 months I haven't been breastfeeding. I'm trying to move back into my healthy routine now. I've actually been trying to find some friends who are in similar "motivation after (through) grief" boats to help keep me motivated, so please feel free to friend me.

QUEENPINKSPARKLE1965

:glasses: Its so hard to let go of an unhealthy relationship but you must press forward :indifferent:

pixiestick

Hello all,

I recently lost my grandmother - a woman who was always there for me and was my best friend. I am trying to get back on track after this and get back to happier times before everything happened, and I was on track. I am an emotional eater, and I'm trying not to fall into that downhill slide again. Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you get through it? Thanks!

I too, just lost my grandpa this past Sunday. I am finally back on track after a debilitating, chronic injury from two years ago, but this feels like it's threatening to undo everything.

I can't even go to the funeral because I am overseas.

I don't have motivation to get to the gym, eat right, or even drink water.

My thought is this: You can celebrate the life of the person you loved by making your life the best it can be.

Thanks, Lora. I will try to make this my mantra for now. I know that this is an old thread, but it was comforting to know that others have been (and probably still are) in my shoes.

sallygeorgina

It is very tough I know to separate the loss of someone you love and comfort eating. I know that my mother was very proud of my original weight loss and since she died I have lost over three stone because I know she would want me to be back to when I felt my best. Try and focus on how your grandmother would love to see you slim and healthy. It also helps to identify the foods that you turn to. I believe in the accumulative factor. It is so easy to say I only have two digestives with my tea in the afternoon - 15lbs per year in body weight!! A 100gm chocolate bar daily about 52lbs a year. A little of what you fancy does you good - it is the every day bit that does the damage.

Swissmiss

I am so sorry for your loss. I really can not give you any advice as I am the sort to NOT eat when these things happen.

OddballExtreme

My father passed away in 1988 from cancer after being diagnosed just four months earlier. I actually went into depression and LOST 30 pounds in a 2-month period in high school. Then I gained that all back and thensome. Now I know I can truly honor my father's memory by being healthy, something I started on my brother's birthday this year when I got the Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis. I know he's looking down and smiling at me, saying, "My little girl's taking care of herself." :happy:

tracymnx

My thought is this: You can celebrate the life of the person you loved by making your life the best it can be.

Your grandmother loved you and wanted you to have a healthy, happy life. Honor her memory by taking care of yourself.....so you can live a long life and be there for your grandchildren like she was for you.

This.

Tomorrow will be 2 years since I lost my Mum to stomach cancer. We were very close. I wanted to die when my mum passed, I couldnt imagine my life without her, she wouldnt see me get married or have children, we wouldnt have 2 hour telephone conversations anymore, we wouldnt go shopping together... But now, im honoring Mum by trying to be a happy and positive person, looking after myself, enjoying my life because thats what she would want me to do. She would be so pissed at me moping around and feeling sad! Its not easy but time really does heal and once that initial acute feeling of gut-wrenching sadness and pain starts to subside, you realise that you can still have a life, and the person you are grieving for would want you to do just this.

It gets better, trust me. :flowerforyou:

pixiestick

Thank you

VenusinScorpio

Loss of a loved one is the hardest emotional storm to have to weather through and I am so sorry for your loss.

A year ago, I had 25 pounds to lose. I was on track to do just that. . .I was motivated, working out and eating right. I dropped five pounds within the first couple of weeks. Then, one day I was getting up and putting on my track shoes to go for my daily walk when my phone rang. It was my sister. . .She dialed my number as she was going into a catastrophic seizure. She never said a word but I could hear her making strange noises and I could hear the people at her work yelling her name in the background. They were saying, "roll her over!" "She's not breathing!" "Call 911!". All I could do was sit there, screaming her name into the phone. The call lasted for about 4 minutes. Long story, short, she was pronounced dead at the hospital.

I was emotionally crippled. My sister was only 18 mos. older than me. We were very close and after she died, I lost my will completely. I didn't care about dieting, I didn't care about my commitment to stop drinking, I didn't care about running my business. I had no will at all and it's taken me nearly a year to scrape up enough of it to try and get myself back on track. You won't find your way back to the track until you have allowed yourself to grieve. Grief destroys the will, but it's worst effects are only temporary. Give yourself a little time and don't be so hard on yourself. I gained 20 lbs over the last year. This is so common after the loss of a loved one and you are only human. If you suppress your feelings, you'll only have to deal with them later.