exs, fiances, cheating..what do i do?

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xoAmyxo
xoAmyxo Posts: 110
in Chit-Chat
thanks everyone i am just going to leave it alone..im also gonna delete this lol cause its embarrassing for me to have up lol but thanks for yalls advice, im gonna listen & just leave it all alone. :)

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  • fiveferrels
    fiveferrels Posts: 397 Member
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    yeah sounds like he wants both. Tell him to kick rocks and never come back.

    Do you want him back? Sounds like you might
  • xoAmyxo
    xoAmyxo Posts: 110
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    .
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    Don't be the other woman. Don't respond to him.
  • xoAmyxo
    xoAmyxo Posts: 110
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    .
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Cheating is not just physical - it can be emotional, mental, etc. I think you already know the answer to this. Most of the time when you ask a question, you already know what the answer is.

    I would ask you this:

    Is continuing to talk to this guy going to BETTER your life in any MEANINGFUL way?
    How would you feel if you were his fiance?
    How DO you feel being the "other"?
    What sort of relationship do you think you deserve?

    Answer those questions for yourself and I think you have you answer. In fact, I think you already know what you "want" and are debating that against what you know is "right".

    EDIT:

    Ah, just saw your last post clarifying things.

    Well, that's really up to you, isn't it? I will say the one time I discovered that I was the "other" woman and the guy had a fiance, I mailed her a box with everything we had together - letters, hotel bills, pictures, everything - with a letter saying that if she was going to marry the guy, she should know exactly what he's been doing when he said he was somewhere else.

    She never responded to me though I left her my cell phone number. I never heard what happened because I cut off all ties. But that's me.
  • fiveferrels
    fiveferrels Posts: 397 Member
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    Do you tell?

    Im sure he would scew it to you being the jealous ex, so no I would leave it alone.
  • Pams_Shadow
    Pams_Shadow Posts: 233 Member
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    :ohwell:
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    i guess i didnt make it clear enough but im not going to..im stopping..im done...its more of if i should tell his fiance? or go off on him again or leave it alone?

    Don't tell his fiance. She has to find out on her own. I don't even know what good it is to go off on him, to make yourself feel better maybe? I think that you want something if you are considering telling her and going off on him. Do you want her to break it off with him? Why? Do you want him to say he's wrong, that he really wants you?

    If you are truly done, walk away. Handle this with class.
  • amuhlou
    amuhlou Posts: 693 Member
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    Stay out of it and ignore him.
  • xoAmyxo
    xoAmyxo Posts: 110
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    .
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    a part of me wants to do all three..go off..leave it alone and tell her..the reason i some what want to tell her is because i think its wrong and if i was her i would want the girl to tell me..i dont care if she stays or not..and i want to go off on him for STILL contacting me when i told his *kitten* to leave me the hell alone

    In theory, yes, we all want to be told if someone is cheating on us, but she probably won't believe you. I doubt he will own up to it (not a generalization about men, this guy just doesn't sound like he would be honest). Then what happens?

    I get being angry or hurt and wanting revenge, but if you are really over him and don't want anything to do with him, then walk away.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    I had an *kitten* who kept coming back a long time ago. He told me his wife was his roommate when i called i would ask her for him I didn't know she was his wife...

    Anyway her and I talked and we figured it all out, he apparently left stuff in my house behind my couch. I told him nope not there and threw it in the trash. I cursed him out and made him think I was crazy. He called one more time after that a few months later say she left him, I did the same thing again.

    He is an *kitten* you don't want him, so it's ok for him to think you are nuts!! and not a nice person at all.
    Reserve your niceness for those who deserve it sweetie.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    a part of me wants to do all three..go off..leave it alone and tell her..the reason i some what want to tell her is because i think its wrong and if i was her i would want the girl to tell me..i dont care if she stays or not..and i want to go off on him for STILL contacting me when i told his *kitten* to leave me the hell alone

    In theory, yes, we all want to be told if someone is cheating on us, but she probably won't believe you. I doubt he will own up to it (not a generalization about men, this guy just doesn't sound like he would be honest). Then what happens?

    I get being angry or hurt and wanting revenge, but if you are really over him and don't want anything to do with him, then walk away.

    ^^ I agree with this, stop trying to be the nice person and take care of your self. If he comes back again scare him the hell away, and do not be nice at all. You own him nothing!!!
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    I'd tell him you are done communicating with him and then don't answer any phones/texts/emails after that.

    Would I tell the fiancee, no probably not a good idea if you aren't friends with her.
  • Miss♥Ivi
    Miss♥Ivi Posts: 461
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    Leave it alone. It's better that way. Cut ties and call it a day. Let her figure it out on her own. You never know, maybe she's known and chooses to ignore it or she's got a few skeletons in her closet as well.

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