Should I approach this or stay away?

merzback

Not sure where to post this, but there is a women at my gym who, to me, seems like she has an eating disorder. She is literally skin and bones, not an ounce of fat or muscle anywhere on her. I've never seen someone so thin in my life, and I was a gymnast who grew up surrounded by eating disorders. I see her on the elliptical all the time and she is there for full hour+ that I'm there, just slowly jogging non stop. The "savior" in me wants to ask one of the trainers if they've approached her about getting help, but the realist in me says just let her be. What would you all do? So far, I've just been feeling sad for her as I watch from afar.

There was a woman in my gym like that once. I was in a step class and while we were cooling down, she was still jumping in the air. I talked to management and they said they couldn't do a thing legally.

30yearssincebikini

I have a sister like that. She is perfectly normal. She is just super skinny. She can go to a buffet dinner and fill her plate three times plus have a dessert! She has three kids too. She says she is always asked if she is anorexic. Someone just the other day flat out asked her if she throws up, meaning does she have bulimia. She finds it insulting. She can't help the way she is and wishes others would leave her alone about it.

My father was this way too, (I took after my plump mother) and I believe it's hereditary.

rumsuck8

Wow, this is a tough one. I love the fact that you are sooo very caring. I think If I were to intervene in anyway at all, I would inquire as to whether she has a family or support system. Nearly everyone does. That is where her intervention should begin. Perhaps you could strike up a conversation with her on that subject or ask one of the trainers or staff. I personally, would avoid stepping in though. Good Luck and please let us know how this turns out.

douglasmobbs

I know what my reaction has been when strangers have come up to me and tell me I need to lose weight.

Would you tell a drug addict or a drunk in the street that they are harming them self?

Its nice that you want to help people, but you are risking a lot doing so, I would let it be.

PrincessMorticia

I'd say more than 'just stay away' or 'confronting' her. Why don't you just try and talk to her and establish a new friend maybe. Maybe you two could become friends and start working out together. Or maybe grab lunch. Compliment her and tell her you need support. It's really up to you. I'm a social butterfly but I wouldn't just call someone out on that however I wouldn't sit back and do anything either if I really felt something was up.

Agreed ^^^ . I wasn't sure how I would react in your situation when I read your post. Part of me is thinking that talking to a trainer or even her directly wouldn't do any good and could be problematic, but the other part of me is thinking that people NOT speaking up and taking action to show their care and concern for others is what's so wrong with the world today! Talk to her, try to establish a rapport. Maybe ask her if she'd like to be your workout buddy while you're there, and you can get a conversation going and get to know her.

rayleansout

Talk to her and make her a friend, dont say a word about her being to skinny. It does not hurt anyone to be a friend, and it might be just what she needs, dont judge, just be her friend.

hettylair

If she is as bad off as you say she is, she probably aready realizes she has an eating disorder.....most anorexics or bulemics do. Just say a prayer and give her a smile.

Yep, Smile at her. Maybe she could use a friend. Let her be the one to approach the subject, just like you would let a severely overweight person approach the subject of weight loss. If she is anorexic, saying something to her won't fix her. A smile and a kind word goes a long way though.
Hetty

kunibob

You all are right. I'm trying to be compassionate and am truly concerned (with or without merit), but it really is not my business.

I think it's really, really awesome that you care this much about a stranger's well-being, by the way, and even better that you came here to ask for advice to figure out the best way to approach it, if at all. That shows both caring for others AND consideration, two very important traits. Think how awesome the world would be if everyone was this way.