BOYS!!! ARGH

nickybr38

Some of you may remember (or not) that I was dating a boy a few weeks back. He wasn't the right guy for me so I recently told him I'd like to be just friends. He IS a nice guy and I figure he would be a good friend.

Here's the problem...

I work twelve hour days, four days a week and eight hour days the other two days of the week. On top of that I'm part of the community choir and pianist for a church in town (which means I need to take time to practice the nights I'm not working twelve hour shifts) I don't have much spare time as a result. I dedicate my time accordingly; Work, family, dates, friends, hobbies.

He doesn't seem to understand that while we were dating he got my time because we were dating and now that we're just friends he is back with the friends priority and I have other friends I have to split that time up with.

I'm getting frustrating little emails from him now, snotty little emails about how come I don't have time to spend with him? And if I don't want to hang out I should just say so right up. And I'm like: WHUT? ARGH. You KNOW I'm busy and now you figure I should spend every spare moment with you???? I've said a billion times that I want to be friends but because I can't hang out every week I keep getting asked if that's what I REALLY want??? WTF?

Are all boys this needy and insecure????

Honestly, I've never had male friends, just boyfriends. So this is new to me. Anyone I've dated before hasn't been interested in just being friends. It was usually date or never speak again. But if this is how it is with date to friend guys I'm not sure I can do it. Ick.

Just had to get that out. *big sigh* Phew! Feels better now.

nickybr38

Some of you may remember (or not) that I was dating a boy a few weeks back. He wasn't the right guy for me so I recently told him I'd like to be just friends. He IS a nice guy and I figure he would be a good friend.

Here's the problem...

I work twelve hour days, four days a week and eight hour days the other two days of the week. On top of that I'm part of the community choir and pianist for a church in town (which means I need to take time to practice the nights I'm not working twelve hour shifts) I don't have much spare time as a result. I dedicate my time accordingly; Work, family, dates, friends, hobbies.

He doesn't seem to understand that while we were dating he got my time because we were dating and now that we're just friends he is back with the friends priority and I have other friends I have to split that time up with.

I'm getting frustrating little emails from him now, snotty little emails about how come I don't have time to spend with him? And if I don't want to hang out I should just say so right up. And I'm like: WHUT? ARGH. You KNOW I'm busy and now you figure I should spend every spare moment with you???? I've said a billion times that I want to be friends but because I can't hang out every week I keep getting asked if that's what I REALLY want??? WTF?

Are all boys this needy and insecure????

Honestly, I've never had male friends, just boyfriends. So this is new to me. Anyone I've dated before hasn't been interested in just being friends. It was usually date or never speak again. But if this is how it is with date to friend guys I'm not sure I can do it. Ick.

Just had to get that out. *big sigh* Phew! Feels better now.

TroyJLehan

As long as you were straight forward and honest, he will understand. But, if you said "yea, I will contact you whenever." That may be your problem. I always prefer the straight forward approach, Instead of leaving someone hanging.

Shannon023

No, not all boys are that insecure and needy.

Date a man instead.

nickybr38

I leave everyone hanging. Haha. Because I never know when I'll have time.

But I guess you can't treat a former date like a new friend. Let me tell you friends are much easier to handle. You don't call for a week, they don't mind!

HAHA. Shannon, I think that's my problem. Been dating WAY too many insecure boys and not enough grown men.

genabug

Too Shannon: :drinker:

Iceprincessk25

It is WAAAAAY too early for you to be hanging out as "FRIENDS" with him because he obviously still has some strong feelings for you. He's going to pout when you don't have time to hang out with him and you will continue to get emails from him.

Being freinds never works right off the bat after breaking up except in RARE instances. I think you need to nip it in the bud and let him know that you are busy and that if he can't accept the time you can give him then you can't give him any at all.

I think he thinks you guys are going to get back together if you spend more time together.

nickybr38

It is WAAAAAY too early for you to be hanging out as "FRIENDS" with him because he obviously still has some strong feelings for you. He's going to pout when you don't have time to hang out with him and you will continue to get emails from him.

Being freinds never works right off the bat after breaking up except in RARE instances. I think you need to nip it in the bud and let him know that you are busy and that if he can't accept the time you can give him then you can't give him any at all.

I think he thinks you guys are going to get back together if you spend more time together.

): I hope not! That would make things a million times more awkward. I think you're right. Honestly I kind of just want some time apart from him right now anyway because he kind of annoys me. HAHA. He's the kind of person it's easy to be friends with but anything more and he'd drive me crazy.

YARGH. I'm way too tired for all this. HAHA.