Need some encouragement

staceykoz

So I've lost 10 pounds, and I should be proud of myself - and I was...but my husband, whom I love dearly, who has commented about how good I look with the weight I've lost many times has also recently made comments that my chin skin is now MORE pronounced and hanging and I've got skin hanging on my arms now.

These are some of my biggest fears about losing weight - that I would end up looking worse and that my double chin wouldn't go away. Now these two comments he has made are just resonating in my head, and all the positive comments he has made are out the window.

I feel like giving up. I've lost my motivation and the confidence I was starting to see again. Funny thing is that I actually thought my face/chin was starting to look better but I only see myself in the mirror from the front.

How do I find the motivation to move forward? Maybe there is hope since I still have about 14 pounds more to lose to reach my goal that my double chin will go away? Ugh - I'm so depressed right now.

porffor

Stacey ((HUGE HUGS)) firstly because you've done so well and this sounds like you're having awful wobbles.
Also because the baggy skin is a fear of many of us.

There are some great posts on strength training and tightening up bodies with muscle and some great successes of people being 'skinny fat' where the weight loss doesn't help the person get to look like how they imagined. But muscle tone does. I'm not sure if this would help but maybe looking at some images of what you like would help identify if it's weight loss or being 'fit'.

I do think personally that baggy skin is better than flabby skin. And it may be that your skin just needs more time to tighten up. Hang in there, and see how you feel when you get to goal; at least you'll be making the decision in the right place and will never have doubts of whether you should have carried on.

I personally know my tummy won't tighten, i've got that lovely apron belly that people hate, but I do know that jeans keep it in well! lol Arms can be disguised, muscles look amazing on women and not bulky.

When you get to goal, you may find you re-evaluate things. Maybe you won't be happy there and want to change body shape, maybe you'll be happy.. or maybe you'll choose to gain the lbs back - that is possible. But it has to be your decision and not because of your hubbies words, which I'm sure he didn't mean to be hurtful.

Being healthy is what it's all about and if that means a bit more skin and a bit less 'lining' then thats great for your body!
((hugs)) for the lows, hope they pass soon x x

staceykoz

Thank you so much for your kind words. They're just the boost I was looking for. You are right, if I quit now, I would just keep wondering what if.

I really am after some muscle tone this time around. I've lost weight before, but never combining exercise and eating right - usually I'd just eat less. Interestingly, it did seem that I lost weight so much differently without exercise. With exercise, the weight is coming off all over - with just eating right, it seemed my tummy lost the weight first. With this 10 lbs of weight loss, my tummy has yet to lose even a smidge of an inch. So I guess that is disheartening too. So between frustration with my tummy not shrinking and hubby's unintentionally hurtful words, I hit a bit of a low this weekend.

Again, I thank you for your words of encouragement - they were just what I need to keep going. ((HUGS)) to you!

porffor

Fantastic to read your positive vibes returning. funny how the body lays down and loses fat differently isn't it!
I must admit my lower tum is a nightmare and to be honest my legs always remain 'big' I used to weight train before and had big legs, never can I get 'average' long boots. lol DH did mention this to me gently when I got my exercise bike at the beginning of the month. We all have insecurities and and issues in weight loss don't we.. it's trying to get through them that makes sites like this so handy.

Well done and keep up the great work!! x

PinkEarthMama

Dont' give up!

I am going to be half skin when I am done. I'm scared of all the flabby jiggly bits, but you know what?

Anyone who mentions them will have to run for their lives... I'll be so fit that I can track them down and kick some @$$.

LPinTheD

Stacey.. You are young enough that your skin has elasticity and WILL go back, especially if you eat healthy and do toning exercises. Don't let that fear derail you, you're doing great!

((hugs))

minadeathclutch

weights weights weights. heavy weights. tone up! itll go away!

LPinTheD

Anyone who mentions them will have to run for their lives... I'll be so fit that I can track them down and kick some @$$.

Hahahahaha... love it!

lpeace2u

Dont' give up!

I am going to be half skin when I am done. I'm scared of all the flabby jiggly bits, but you know what?

Anyone who mentions them will have to run for their lives... I'll be so fit that I can track them down and kick some @$$.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

skcornett

You are making progress and it takes time to transform the whole body - physical and mental. I've been doing this since August and the mental part is daunting. That said, definitely include strength and toning exercises in your routine. I don't want to get to my goal facing some big plastic surgery bill to remove the old me!

Head up! Stay strong! Stay focused! You've got this!!

_Bob_

I worry about this too, the advice that I have gotten is to drink more water and it will help with your skins elasticity and that it will shrink into place with time. I'm starting to see some sagging on my stomach but then noticed that it is starting to go away a little at a time, and bonus... my strech marks are starting to fade away more too :happy:

Di3012

So I've lost 10 pounds, and I should be proud of myself - and I was...but my husband, whom I love dearly, who has commented about how good I look with the weight I've lost many times has also recently made comments that my chin skin is now MORE pronounced and hanging and I've got skin hanging on my arms now.

These are some of my biggest fears about losing weight - that I would end up looking worse and that my double chin wouldn't go away. Now these two comments he has made are just resonating in my head, and all the positive comments he has made are out the window.

I feel like giving up. I've lost my motivation and the confidence I was starting to see again. Funny thing is that I actually thought my face/chin was starting to look better but I only see myself in the mirror from the front.

How do I find the motivation to move forward? Maybe there is hope since I still have about 14 pounds more to lose to reach my goal that my double chin will go away? Ugh - I'm so depressed right now.

It will go away, the fact that he has commented that it is now more pronounced is because you have already burnt some of the fat away from your face and it has accentuated your chin. It is important to continue so that the job can be completed.

If he has been making positive comments throughout, it could very well be that what he said this time came out not how he intended. For all you know he may have been trying to say that your face has slimmed down and your facial bones are now starting to show through.

Please don't give up, you've worked very hard up to this point to lose the weight you already have lost, give yourself a chance, because you will reach your goal :flowerforyou:

kevin3344

weights weights weights. heavy weights. tone up! itll go away!

Yep, you're 50% there with watching what you eat. But that won't tone you. You'll simply have the same body at a smaller size.

I would incorporate some strength or resistance training. Try "30 day shred" (search for it on MFP) or "ripped in 30" by Jillian Michaels and I bet you'll see a difference.

Both DVDs are $8-10 at walmart or target....

staceykoz

Aw! You guys are going to make me cry! Your support means so much to me.

I completely appreciate what everyone is saying about weight training being so important. I've been alternating between Jillian's Shred, her Ripped in 30, and her Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism - so muscle tone is definitely a huge goal for me. Glad to know I am on the right track there.

Everyone has given me hope that maybe my chin skin will bounce back (lol). I hope you all look in the mirror each day and know that you inspire people (I'm one of those people!).

sunshinegirlnm

I agree with all the above and would add the following:

1. kindly ask your husband to refrain from commenting on your body unless it's strictly positive -- no "you look hot, but..." statements
2. add in some healthy oils if you're not already: evening primrose, flax, fish, vitamin E and biotin -- all are great for skin and hair/nails

Big hug.

PS--you ought to see my little flap around my middle, it's loose, but only when I sit down, lol. I try to see it as progress!

SafireBleu

You have done great losing the weight. Don't let the little lose skin keep you from doing this for yourself. I have lose skin issues but I'd rather have jiggly skin than jiggle fat. And it does tighten up. You are young you still have elasticity in your skin it will get so much better with time and working out. I have been drinking lots of water, exfoliating and using a nivea skin tightening cream with q10 and it has been helping. I'm sure it is more about staying hydrated and using moisturizer than the type of moisturizer I am using but it is helping me. The skin on m belly and thighs in particular was really bad and I am seeing improvement. Keep doing what you are doing. The health benefits of losing the weight are so high and you are doing so great don't give up.

2012asv

Keep going! It is a process which you've already accomplished half way! Think about it this way, if that loose skin is STILL there after you've reached your goal, then that will be your next goal. Losing ten pounds is not easy- don't let that go to waste! I've told my husband to only use POSITIVE words and to not even joke about it.
You can do it girlfriend!

hkmamma

hang in there and add some strength training, you will notice a huge difference in your body shape.