Unsupportive friends?

AMessina82

Hello!

Over the last 5 years I went from about 190 down to 140 lbs, where I have hovered for the last year or two. I finally decided to the the next step, and started a serious workout regimen with a personal trainer 3 times a week. In addition to training, I take kettle bell and kickboxing classes and do cardio 5 to 6 days a week at a gym. I am on a pretty strict "clean" diet of around 1500 calories, which I try to stick to religiously.

I feel amazing, and am slowly heading toward my goal of 125 lbs, but the lack of support I get from friends is devastating. When they are not constantly nagging me to eat ice cream or burgers when we go out to eat, or bringing sweets to my house and acting kinda nasty when I politely decline, they call me "boring". They say they are joking, but I can tell they aren't completely kidding around. I don't have any friends that are into fitness and exercise like I am, and it gets hard! Any advice? Anyone going through the same thing?

th2much

sorry your friends are not supportive , that must be hard. I have no advice for you, just ((hugs))) . You are doing great!!! Keep up the good work!

Zalitharia

I'm going through that too, but not nearly to the extent that you are. I stopped hanging out with people that were trying to delay me from reaching my goals and started finding new people to motivate and inspire me instead. It's such a big priority for me right now that I don't mind if anyone thinks I am boring. Seeing the progress and the pounds coming off are worth losing negative friends in my opinion.

I am lucky I have two close female friends who are both very supportive. One is also careful about what she eats and the other invites me out to things like yoga and signed up with me for a 5k run in 6 weeks. I choose to associate more with them, and less with the friends who want to eat and drink and be sedentary.

My biggest problem is with dating. I meet guys who hear about my goals and progress and say "oh that sounds great, I'd like to do that too!", but then, when I suggest skating or dancing or squash or a hike or anything active, they suggest a movie and dinner instead, lol... all talk no action. And THEN they pester me about popcorn and snacks "Do you want some? Are you sure? Just a little bit?" I actually had to snap a little at the last guy to make him stop asking. He knows full well how determined I am and how I'm trying to eat healthy to reach my goals.

But again, it's about choosing who you hang out with. I'm beginning to choose to date guys who show that (and not just talk) they want to be active, and can support me in my quest (and of course, I would in theirs) for fitness. It might be hard, it might not be possible for you, but consider how much these people truly are your friends if they are actively trying to sabotoge your progress, and consider how much time you want to spend around people bringing you down instead of motivating you to reach your goal.

Rays_Wife

This is one of the reasons I decided to join a gym recently. I need to find and make friends with like-minded people!!

AMessina82

I agree... why are men so problematic? I live with my boyfriend, who is great, but every single day, it's "Here! Have just one bite! C'mon!" It makes no sense. lol. Thank you for the response! Hopefully I'll meet some more like minded people out there

charliedingus

people like to hear good things about their bad habits, and your friends probably feel threatened and criticised. your health is more important x

SERinDC

I joined a triathlon club and made a bunch of new friends. Now I have more friends that are more interested in a long run than several drinks at happy hour. When I go out with some of my old friends they always give me a hard time about not drinking or eating whatever they're getting, but there's nothing like the excuse, "oh sorry, gotta get up for that 6am run!" They might be grumpy about that response, but you'll be happy with it

emilybeatrice1

my boyfriend has seriously derailed my wieght loss efforts.... i'm trying to figure out a balance. Ive been with him 5 months and have gained 15 pounds. This is terrible. He also needs to loose weight and is trying to blame me for his sudden halt in weight loss. How do i find my old motivated self and still be happily in love?

Helloitsdan

Want to join a winning group? Add me and i'll recommend you to my team. 90% of us eat 1600-3k daily to lose weight and gain lean mass. We will call you out if you slip and boost you up to win!

helenbeee

Hello!

Over the last 5 years I went from about 190 down to 140 lbs, where I have hovered for the last year or two. I finally decided to the the next step, and started a serious workout regimen with a personal trainer 3 times a week. In addition to training, I take kettle bell and kickboxing classes and do cardio 5 to 6 days a week at a gym. I am on a pretty strict "clean" diet of around 1500 calories, which I try to stick to religiously.

I feel amazing, and am slowly heading toward my goal of 125 lbs, but the lack of support I get from friends is devastating. When they are not constantly nagging me to eat ice cream or burgers when we go out to eat, or bringing sweets to my house and acting kinda nasty when I politely decline, they call me "boring". They say they are joking, but I can tell they aren't completely kidding around. I don't have any friends that are into fitness and exercise like I am, and it gets hard! Any advice? Anyone going through the same thing?

okay your friends are acting like jerks even though you know they are not like that all the time. Look dont get hung up on this because essentially when they ask you if you want some crappy junk food they are about to eat YOU KNOW you arent going to eat any of it already dont you? so they are just words that are coming out of their mouths like any other words a little annoying but its not like they are going to have any impact on your actions is it now? SO forget it let em ask because you know your answer is always going to be plain and simple "no thanks!" If they say youre boring tell them (laughingly) theyre sad if they judge people by what they eat or that you werent aware you were part of a junk food only social club. Just fire it back at them the same way they give it to you all jokey and indifferent I swear they will get over it eventually

Zalitharia

my boyfriend has seriously derailed my wieght loss efforts.... i'm trying to figure out a balance. Ive been with him 5 months and have gained 15 pounds. This is terrible. He also needs to loose weight and is trying to blame me for his sudden halt in weight loss. How do i find my old motivated self and still be happily in love?

Serious answer: Get a new boyfriend who doesn't blame YOU for HIS weight problems.

blessmy5

I'm 48 so this is from a few years of experience. Those that really care about me, want me to be healthy and happy - whatever that means for ME (not them)! We are all very different and appreciate that about each other. I'm still friends with a half dozen women that I've been friends with since I was 17 and we are all VERY different and support each other in our endeavors. There have been others that I've been friends with for a while and then we've parted ways. A true friend wants to see you succeed. They love you though the ups and downs of life, through divorce, the death of a child, raising those troubled teens, the lose of a parent, all of it and they support each other every step of the way, no matter what.

Find some new friends~

junglejd13

Hello!

Over the last 5 years I went from about 190 down to 140 lbs, where I have hovered for the last year or two. I finally decided to the the next step, and started a serious workout regimen with a personal trainer 3 times a week. In addition to training, I take kettle bell and kickboxing classes and do cardio 5 to 6 days a week at a gym. I am on a pretty strict "clean" diet of around 1500 calories, which I try to stick to religiously.

I feel amazing, and am slowly heading toward my goal of 125 lbs, but the lack of support I get from friends is devastating. When they are not constantly nagging me to eat ice cream or burgers when we go out to eat, or bringing sweets to my house and acting kinda nasty when I politely decline, they call me "boring". They say they are joking, but I can tell they aren't completely kidding around. I don't have any friends that are into fitness and exercise like I am, and it gets hard! Any advice? Anyone going through the same thing?

I just had this conversation with my supportive friend about my Unsupportive friend, so YES! I know what you're going through!

My "friend" has struggled with her weight all her life, as have I, but I've always been the heavier one. I've been very supportive of her recent weight loss/methods. However, I found out about MFP from a friend, started it about a week ago (NEEWBIE!) and started working out with a personal trainer. I really like MFP and feel that its great. My "friend" knows I started MFP and casually mentioned that she checked it out and thinks that the calorie counts are WAY too much for her, because she just knows what works for her and she doesn't need the social aspect, however she is not fit/in shape and not at her goal weight not even close.

SO I realized that

When you make positive changes, especially fitness/health changes it freaks your friends out b/c they aren't happy with where they are, and if you succeed, or start to succeed they will look bad by comparison. (women are catty right?)

Sarcastic comments that try to make you feel bad about yourself are their little ways of trying to sabatoge you. I get this all the time, and when people offer me food and I decline they give the look like "really fat girl". You have come a long way and are an inspiration truely. It's hard when your real life friends aren't supportive, but I find that my MFP friends are supportive and don't judge me, they inspire and push me to succeed. I think about all the *kitten* like this they also face each day and know that I am not alone. Praise the internet! I have a very long road ahead to my fitness but if you would like to be friends please add me!