Loved one not happy.

Skinnier_Me

Yes BigD!!!
Yes!!!!!

vspvsp

I vote with made4praise - kick him to the curb. So you loose all the weight, then he will want you to get rid of the cellulite = liposuction. Then he will want you to have bigger boobs = implants. Then he will want you to have a better smile = dental veneers. Then he will want you to have perfect skin = dermabraision, botox and resterill (sp). Then he will want you to ...............

Tell him to save you both all the trouble and go out and see if he can find a Victoria's Secret model who wants him. (I'm betting he can't come close.) Meanwhile you take care of yourself and loose weight if it will make you healthier.

Skinnier_Me

That's easier said than done.

Love is something you can't just "kick to the curb".. you have to work through your problems.

It's 50/50 but he's not willing to do his part, then you'll have to make a decision.

I'm sure Victoria's Secret models aren't perfect either and I'm sure they don't want any dead weight to hold them down either.

Anywho.... sweetie, lose weight for yourself. Make yourself feel better.
He'll be eating his words soon if it isn't already.

"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."

Nevada

I friend pointed out that I was getting a little porky. That, and my doctor telling me to watch the cholestrol, was what finally pushed me into doing something about it.

It was not nice to hear from a friend, but I was glad someone felt comfortable saying it to me.

In the cases of worrying if your mate will love you fat or skinny, just do it because you love yourself. That makes you easier to love.

izzyrut

My boyfriend of two years commented about my weight when i started putting on the pounds this year. I felt more motivated to go on a diet after i heard this from him, i want him to be attracted to me, he has helped me through this by supporting me and eating healthier himself. I am greatful that he spoke up when he did, it was what i needed to start this diet and life change.

filergirl

At the skinniest and most fit I've ever been (about six months ago 115 lbs, 5'5, flat abs, looked amazing) I had a guy criticize my looks. You know what he picked on? The tiny little spider veins on my upper thighs. Oh, and he told me I was "old." I'm 28, by the way.

The lesson is that no matter how amazing you look, someone is going to disagree with you or find something to pick on. I think if you really find someone attractive (as a whole person) they look good to you despite their flaws. My boyfriend has a tummy, but I kind of like it. It's him. I wouldn't like him any better if he had washboard abs.

That being said, women generally seem more accepting of flaws in their partners.This is societal. A man's power isn't intrinsically linked with how he looks, except for maybe his height. Men don't have to squeeze themselves into form fitting clothing: on the whole their costumes are much more forgiving. A few extra pounds is not seen as fat.

And, on the whole, men tend to be less self-critical. Why? I could write a whole dissertation on that. My opening salvo would be to simply repeat the conversation I overhead on the bus yesterday; rail-thin grade school girls calling themselves pigs and saying they should get off and walk becuase they're soooo fat.

Don't see too many adolescent boys acting like that --

So, the next time "the boyfriend" complains about your appearance, you could remind him of these points, then ask him when was the last time he a) had a baby b) had PMS c) stuffed himself into tight clothing d) wore a bra or took one damn minute to examine why it is he's criticizing your flaws, not his own!

julieofthewolves

I think there is a big difference between a caring friend/loved one sharing their concern about your weight because they want you to be healthy and someone criticising you for your weight. The first case is supportive, the second case is condescending and insulting.

Take care of yourself in every aspect. If you care enough about yourself to do the right thing about your weight, care enough about yourself to be respected in every way by your partner. My fear is that even if you had a 'perfect' body there would be something else he would find to critize. One who does that isn't loving you for all that you are.

TexasAngelBeth

I think I am so lucky after reading some of the comments people have put on here. I was in a marriage that my ex used criticism as his way of expressing his unhappiness... now I am with a man who accepts me and loves me for who I am... he doesnt judge and is very supportive of what I want to do. He loves the whole me not just the physical me.
I hope your boy friend can accept your trying and that you need to make you happy. Like everyone before me has said you need to do this for you...and you alone. Good luck