Do you think people are lacking 'class'?

shanahan_09

I've noticed a lot more lately--say within the past few years that people are more hostile, angrier, and feel incredibly entitled. Not saying everyone, for when I see great stories such as the plane landing on the Hudson a few years back, it gives me hope that people still have humanity.
Now-a-days you look at someone next to you in the other lane while driving and you get the bird. Even to watch a hockey game (my son plays hockey) one can hear others in the stands throwing the F-bomb around. and yes, there are children present..
When I was growing up I can remember being in the lobby at the rink during the hockey period and there were some young men saying F this, F that while chatting in our midst. My Dad went up to them and said 'Do not talk like that in the presence of women"....I'll never forget that moment. He grew up in an era where a man's handshake was as good as signing your name on the dotted line, where people had character and integrity, where people took care of their own business and didn't get into someone else's uninvited.


So in a nutshell, do you think class is diminshing in our time, and do you think technology plays a big part in it?

LewisFishman

I believe we have lost not only class, but civility. And it's a shame, because it doesn't have to be that way. Regardless of technology or velocity of life, we need to treat each other better. Even a simple "please" and "thank you". Not in a sniveling, permission-seeking way, but as acknowledgement of humanity (from one important person to another). Best summed up in the Sanskrit word "Namaste", which has no real equivalent in the West. But it's a great word with a great intention--

"That which is Highest and Finest in me greets that which is Highest and finest in you".

What a world this would be if we would all embrace this concept--Namaste.
--LEWIS

christine24t

Yes and no. I think people were always this way, but they hid it behind doors and the topics were different. My grandma has talked about "negros" before to me. I would never call someone a negro. Our topics that we're talking about a different, and now it's socially acceptable to discuss those topics out of the home more, and that's why you hear it.

lisa28115

some people on these message boards lack class

Captain_Mal

In a word, yes.

xraychick77

i notice it in certain places.

especially the entitlement attitude. i live in a very poor very rural area..and the people here just dont care. they honesty purposely will try to swerve to hit an animal on the road. they dont use turn signals. they dont say excuse me when they need past you, they just push.

but just a few mins down the road there is a town full of the bohemian hippy types.. worldly and they are kind and actually thoughtful and polite.

mrlazy1967

I think poor education, political correctness and too much tv.

rolliepollie087

This.

Yes and no. I think people were always this way, but they hid it behind doors and the topics were different. My grandma has talked about "negros" before to me. I would never call someone a negro. Our topics that we're talking about a different, and now it's socially acceptable to discuss those topics out of the home more, and that's why you hear it.

mamasasa

One word...Ego.

Pebble321

Yes and no. In so many cases I see bad language, rude behaviour and downright nastiness. But then, I get a pleasant surprise when I see someone who I might judge (I know I shouldn't, but I do) talking politely, helping someone out etc.

smantha32

It's because these days children are all taught in school that they're entitled to get what they want. They're not allowed to fail, they're not allowed to excel, they aren't taught manners, and they aren't punished when they're obnoxious or disrespectful to others.

splashangel

Yes. I do. But we will raise our boys to be men. Yes mam and No Sir. Thank you and can I help you with that. They know to give up there seat for an adult. Woman are not called names but cherished and respected. There Dad has the last say and money doesn't grow on trees. They know that a day may come where they have to fight for family and or country. And If it does, they won't do it with pants sagging half way down their behinds. A's and b's are expected. As one day hard work will be. Strict? Old fashioned? Yes.

elcyclista

Probably not class, but lacking respect. Especially today's kids who don't respect anyone, including theirselves, and are very self-centered.

KatieCuth

The other day in traffic I got shown the bird by two different people and they were doing the wrong thing...

KatieCuth

It's because these days children are all taught in school that they're entitled to get what they want. They're not allowed to fail, they're not allowed to excel, they aren't taught manners, and they aren't punished when they're obnoxious or disrespectful to others.

I think teachers have less control these days...

annabellj

Yes. I do. But we will raise our boys to be men. Yes mam and No Sir. Thank you and can I help you with that. They know to give up there seat for an adult. Woman are not called names but cherished and respected. There Dad has the last say and money doesn't grow on trees. They know that a day may come where they have to fight for family and or country. And If it does, they won't do it with pants sagging half way down their behinds. A's and b's are expected. As one day hard work will be. Strict? Old fashioned? Yes.

amen to this! this is what we do with our boys also! I am constantly being told how polite and well mannered our children are. also I am constantly in shock when another persons child talks back and calls their parents cuss words to their face, and they are allowed to get away with it! then the parent blames the school. well my children went to the same exact school as theirs did and mine are getting good grades and dont do drugs and are respectful, like to have boundaries placed on them, and enjoy spending time with their parents. go figure!

SilverStrychnine

I would say yes, however, I myself am not a shining example of "class". I do know how and when to be tactful though, and when to just keep my mouth shut :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SilverStrychnine

Probably not class, but lacking respect. Especially today's kids who don't respect anyone, including theirselves, and are very self-centered.

YES. I think this is the bigger problem.

Buddhasmiracle

I am a "baby boomer." Think of this: nearly 450,000 people attended the Woodstock Festival in 1968. Traffic was backed up for days to get to the festival. There werent enough port-o-johns and lines to them were long. There were water and food shortages. Yet, No one was killed, there were no injuries as the result of fighting among attendees. There were no weapons found among attendees. This would not happen today. I am not saying this was a "better" generation or a more civil one-- but I don't think that a gathering of these many people could happen now without brawling, hard drugs, and murder.


It seems as if as a society "we" do not have a collective sense of what "civil" behavior is; and it cuts across all socio-economic classes, ages, gender, and races. Where ever there are public "gatherings" (including "electronic" gatherings) there is a lack of mutual respect, or sense of "common good."

hooligansmom

I don't necessarily think that a lack of civility is a generational thing. I work in food service, and most people are quite nice when I smile and greet them. However, I am far more likely to have my greetings ignored by an older person. Are they really in such a hurry that "Hi, how are you?" needs to be followed immediately by "Gimme a cheesebrger"? Maybe some people have tired of the social veneer they have put on, and feel that please and thank you is no longer needed in daily interactions?

Carl01

This may not be popular but I believe much can be attributed to the "special snowflake" attitude that has become the norm in child upbringing over the last 20-25 years.
The idea of participation trophies and not keeping score in games so that everyone is a winner.
I get trying to establish self esteem but I think that has to come from self respect not an artificial atmosphere that is not the reality of life where there are winners and losers,successes and failures.

The whole thing has led IMO to people that can`t understand or cope with the fact that sometimes things go wrong or not as we wish them to.
Now the expectation is that whatever has happened must be made right by someone instantly because that is what is owed.
When that doesn`t happen the reaction is anger,impatience and a need to lash out.

ItsCasey

Class and respect are the same thing. You can't have one without the other.

The problem is that parents don't take responsibility for raising their children to be responsible, respectful, productive members of society anymore. They blame all their kids' problems on other people and other things ... teachers, coaches, friends, parents of other kids, medicine they're taking for made-up "syndromes," etc.

My dad was also the type who would pull aside grown men and young boys alike and politely ask them to refrain from cursing in front of my mom, my sister, and me. So I grew up believing that a man who curses in my presence is a man who has no respect for me, and I still believe that. It has nothing to do with what year or decade it is or what generation currently reigns supreme in re-establishing social norms. There will never be a time when cursing in the presence of women or children is acceptable to me.

And that is just one example of crass behavior that is better left for the locker room. But boys have to be taught that from a very early age. If they're not learning it at home and if they have no other adult male role model to learn it from, they're just going to continue the cycle of boorishness.

And don't even get me started on what the feminist movement has done to the way women are now viewed and treated.

FaugHorn

I think there have always been jerks and there will always be jerks. There are just more people now so a higher likelihood of running into one

leftymac

It's because these days children are all taught in school that they're entitled to get what they want. They're not allowed to fail, they're not allowed to excel, they aren't taught manners, and they aren't punished when they're obnoxious or disrespectful to others.

I think teachers have less control these days...

If teachers have less control, it's because we're not allowed to. I refer a student to the office for disrupting class and from the uproar caused by them and their parents, you'd think I was sentencing them to the federal penitentiary. This lack of control that people perceive that we teachers have is not because of us not doing our jobs, it's because of parents feeling their precious snowflakes can do no wrong.

Ebwash89

Yes yes yes! People have no "coof" what my grandmother calls it. Ladies have forgotten how to be ladies. Men no longer feel the need to respect or show chivalry. People just say whatever comes to mind sometimes with no regards to people's feeling. They're cursing, fighting, shooting, and stabbing for sensless reasons and are teaching the next generation to do the same. It's just horrible! :embarassed: I pray for the next generation

jdelot

It's because these days children are all taught in school that they're entitled to get what they want. They're not allowed to fail, they're not allowed to excel, they aren't taught manners, and they aren't punished when they're obnoxious or disrespectful to others.

I'm not attacking you, but I hear this quite often and I just have to say that this is not the case with my son and his school. He's always been held accountable for his school work and his behavior, both by his teachers and at home. Not all children are a-holes and not all schools allow them to be.

jjblogs

And don't even get me started on what the feminist movement has done to the way women are now viewed and treated.

^^^^
THIS

wickedcricket

yes society is declining. it's not technology. It's because the NUCLEAR family is declining and these people are raising themselves. Just as you said. You had a father and a mother who TAUGHT you manners and how to behave in society. WE are the fortunate ones. People who behave poorly either were never taught differently or dropped on their heads too much.
I am like your dad. IF someone's rude behavior bleeds over to MY family I will tell them about it politely ONCE... then it's on.
Generally, I don't have to follow up .. but I will if I have to and MY family - my kids & grandkids KNOW it. MY adult children know that they can be *kitten* around their friends but IT WILL NOT FLY with me.
I'm old-school with the manners to match. I live in a way that honors my grandmother and parents. I hope I've taught my children that as well.
I know I can't be the etiquette police for all of society so I just worry about MYself and MY home.
Teach your children manners. Enforce it every day. That's all we can do

jdelot

It's because these days children are all taught in school that they're entitled to get what they want. They're not allowed to fail, they're not allowed to excel, they aren't taught manners, and they aren't punished when they're obnoxious or disrespectful to others.

I think teachers have less control these days...

If teachers have less control, it's because we're not allowed to. I refer a student to the office for disrupting class and from the uproar caused by them and their parents, you'd think I was sentencing them to the federal penitentiary. This lack of control that people perceive that we teachers have is not because of us not doing our jobs, it's because of parents feeling their precious snowflakes can do no wrong.

People are quick to blame teachers and school systems. It starts at home. Every time I contact my son's teacher via email, she ends the email with "Thank you for your continuing support." That shouldn't even need to be said. And it's not just this teacher. Same thing with his teacher last year.

sjtreely

Ooooh, yes.

It appears that many people got a memo stating, "You are entitled to things you haven't earned. You deserve more and more and more without effort. Don't let anyone tell you hard work is the path to success. You don't have to work hard, you deserve everything NOW."

If my parents got that memo, they forgot to pass it along to me. They were soooo mean, that if I had Girl Scout cookies or other other fundraiser stuff to sell, they made me actually go out and sell it. ME!!!! Like it was my responsibility to actually work for my organization.

Child Labor Laws? Pfft ... my dad had a deaf ear to that rig-a-ma-roar.

And I'm gonna tell you what, I'm a better person for it.

jsielke

We have gone from a world where children were disciplined for bad behavior, most men had served some time in the military, and women were not avidly competing to be as pushy and arrogant as the men they worked with. Indeed, most women actually raised their own children, and didn't have Day care and nannies to do it for them.

Now, it is all about increasing a child's "Self-esteem." He can be obnoxious, rude and bullying, but heaven help the person who dares to discipline him! It is no wonder that just in the past 20 years, we see kids bringing guns to school and killing their classmates.

We need to get back to teaching our kids that the world does not revolve around their wants. Jdelot hit it right on the nose. But as long as we have a government whose politicians get votes by buying them with their "entitlement" programs, it will not happen. Hear that "whirring" sound? That's our founding fathers spinning in their graves!