(rant) Frustrated with workout (rather, lack thereof)

Mkserpa

I jumped back into my weight loss routine this last October immediately after having my first baby girl (and after gaining 66lbs during pregnancy). I started walking with baby every day, usually 3 miles a day. It was easy when she was a newborn because she slept the entire time. As she's growing and more aware of her surroundings, she HATES going on walks. She absolutely hates her stroller. She hates her carseat (it snaps into the stroller, I've tried her in the stroller without the carseat, she still HATES it). She screams when I try to go walking with her, every time.

I joined a gym in December because of this. She's too young for the playcare (has to be 6 months old) so I have to go when someone can stay home with her (BTW I don't work, I'm home all day every day). I'm married and hubby can certainly stay with her, however I've found this impossible.

He works 8-5 (doesn't get home until 630). I've tried going to the gym at 630 but at that time of day the gym is SOOO packed I end up spending my 2 hours waiting for machines instead of using them (I have a 2 hour limit because baby is exclusively breastfed, sometimes she can go 3 hours without eating, but that's rare. I used to pump for her for bottles but now she refuses the bottle). She's too young for solids, so 2 hours it is.

The gym doesn't die down until after 9 most nights, so I decided to wait until baby goes to bed to go. I start her bedtime routine at 8 and try to have her in bed by 9, then I leave at 930 and can usually spend a couple of hours there since she'll sleep for up to 6 hours at a time (at least she used to!)

So the last couple weeks she's been sleeping in 1 hour increments. 1 HOUR! She wakes up as though she's all refreshed and ready to start the day every hour. I've had to come home from the gym after half an hour the last few weeks because she wakes up and hubby can't get her to settle down. Since he works early, I won't leave him to handle her while I do my thing at the gym. He works, I don't. I don't see it as very fair to make him stay up late with her only to get up early to go to work the next day.

I'm at a loss. I do what I can with her at home. Today I did lunges up and down the hallway while trying to rock her to sleep. Yesterday I did situps with her sitting on my tummy. But I can't get any cardio in and I can't get any weights in. I'm getting so frustrated!

I need to get rid of this baby weight. I'm already at my max calorie deficit but I need to be healthy while I diet.

I've thought of going to the gym in the morning when hubby wakes up and being home before he leaves but I can't get up that early as baby has me up past midnight most nights as it is. I'm already sleep deprived and making myself even more so won't help anything.

My baths/showers are taken with baby, I nap with baby because I don't get any sleep any other time. Weekends I'm watching baby just like during the week so hubby can get his rest since he works. He's in school right now as well. Saturdays he takes a golf class for PE for his general ed (yes, golf.) He's taking 1 online class and he's taking a class Monday evenings. I feel like I have no time for myself, but he does. He gets to be at work all day in a quiet office, he gets to walk 2.5 miles every day on his lunch (without a screaming baby). He gets an hour commute in the morning (minus a screaming baby) and an hour and a half commute in the evening (again, minus screaming baby). His weekends he takes a golf class and I'm at home, again with a screaming baby.

Did I mention I'm also a full time med student? Currently I'm enrolled in 15 units online (just general ed courses at the moment). So there's that, too.

I love my baby girl to death. She's given me more meaning in this life than I ever thought possible. However, I feel everyone needs a break at one time or another. Going to the gym was my time to myself. I got to put on my headphones, not have someone screaming in my ear, no one needs me at that moment, it's just me and the exercise equipment. Now I don't even get that anymore.

I don't know if I'm asking for any advice or what. I think I'm just ranting. I know this is part of being a new mommy but at the same time, I have absolutely zero time for myself. Zero. I'm even writing this out with my cell phone while I'm feeding baby. That's the only opportunity I have to get online.

melaniecheeks

Wow, you've a lot going on right now, I can see why it's tough to get get some time to yourself.

But this is a stage that your little girl will grow out of, so you don't need to find a permanent solution, just something "for now". In another few months, she can go to the day care at the gym. Breastfeeding does put a big commitment on you that no-one else can do, but it's the most wonderful start for your daughter. But again, it's not going to last for ever.

Keep trying the walking ideas, and the home workouts. For now.

Mkserpa

Wow, you've a lot going on right now, I can see why it's tough to get get some time to yourself.

But this is a stage that your little girl will grow out of, so you don't need to find a permanent solution, just something "for now". In another few months, she can go to the day care at the gym. Breastfeeding does put a big commitment on you that no-one else can do, but it's the most wonderful start for your daughter. But again, it's not going to last for ever.

Keep trying the walking ideas, and the home workouts. For now.

This is exactly what I've been doing, just temporary fixes. I know it will get better, but I feel that in the mean time I'm stuck and can't take care of myself properly. I'm out of options for the temporary fixes until she adjusts into a different phase of her baby-hood.

melaniecheeks

Well, remind yourself that results are 80% nutrition, and only 20% exercise, so make sure your diet is super good!

Mkserpa

Well, remind yourself that results are 80% nutrition, and only 20% exercise, so make sure your diet is super good!

I eat fairly healthy. Exercise is my way of getting out energy, frustration, aiding with depression, etc. I love the way I feel after working out. I think this is why I'm so frustrated. I feel almost like I'm having withdrawals - like I NEED to be exercising. I hate the feeling when I can't workout.

LittleMissAlx

Could you try buying some fitness dvds, then you can do them at home and pause them if you need to go and look after your baby? And use things round the house as equivalents for weights, or just body weight exercises maybe?

CnocNaCu

I know exactly what you're going through since I'm a mother of 3 (grown up) kids and all 3 were breastfed. While they are growing their appetite changes a lot, they need routine and so do you but unfortunately it is not always possible.
I had to get used to the fact that baby comes first when I want to breastfeed. Do what you can for yourself whenever possible but don't expect yourself to be a SUPERMOM. There is no such thing!
Allow yourself a rant every now and then, exercise whenever possible and do your studies. Eat healthy and try to enjoy!!!! the baby and accept a bit of "baby fat" around your tummy. It'll go, believe me.
Most importantly: if you want to breastfeed your baby you have a big responsibility to give her what she needs. Don't deprive your body from essential foods or your breasts cannot meet the demand ;-) That again can make your baby very unhappy and unsatisfied... Also: when she notices your not really with her, you're not patient, unhappy.... she will respond.
All I want to say is: take it easy, don't put yourself under too much pressure, enjoy your daughter and eat enough for breastfeeding your daughter.
Good luck and a big (((hug)))

Mkserpa

@cnoncnacu - I adjusted my calories to allow breastfeeding. I tried consuming an additional 500 per day but my weight maintained. I tried lowering that number by 100 calories per day for a few weeks at a time and found an additional 200 per day is just right. My milk supply is plentiful. She's well fed and healthy. Her weight is perfect. She's a very happy baby, just very demanding of my attention (as ALL babies are!) she's just certainly a mama's girl. Daddy comes home and she usually wants nothing to do with him. She's on my hip the minute she is up in the AM until she's in bed.

@LittleMissAlx - I've tried DVD's but after pausing and resetting a 20 minute exercise so many times that it took me well over an hour to do the whole thing, I realized that's not going to work very well Baby is going through an attachment phase currently and doesn't let me put her down. I've been using her as a weight lately (lol) by lifting her in my arms as I walk her around the house (bicep curls) or by holding her when doing lunges, squats, etc. She finds it fascinating that I'm doing something with her.

CnocNaCu

well done, then you already know what is best for you and your daughter. Great job! Unfortunately you might have to wait until she's adjusted and take it as given she's mama's girl :-) Using her as weight is a great idea btw

CnocNaCu

Sorry, just had a look at your diary which is public. Your trying to eat at 1200 cals a day while breastfeeding. This is not only not enough it is also not healthy for your baby. Toxins and other nasty things are being stored in our fat and when losing weight/fat the toxins are leaving our body with our bodily fluids. Make sure you drink gallons of water and eat a bit more

Mkserpa

well done, then you already know what is best for you and your daughter. Great job! Unfortunately you might have to wait until she's adjusted and take it as given she's mama's girl :-) Using her as weight is a great idea btw

Yea, I see that I just hope she grows out of this phase soon.

Don't get me wrong - I love every single second I spend with her. I find myself watching every little thing she does with tears in my eyes because I never knew I could love someone so much in my life. She's given me so much purpose in life, it's crazy! My life was completely meaningless before now.

I just needed to vent a little. 4 months of nothing but baby, lack of sleep, and being on call 24/7 tends to get under your skin a little Especially when your significant other gets to do things like golf, go bowling, go to hockey games, etc without you.

Mkserpa

Sorry, just had a look at your diary which is public. Your trying to eat at 1200 cals a day while breastfeeding. This is not only not enough it is also not healthy for your baby. Toxins and other nasty things are being stored in our fat and when losing weight/fat the toxins are leaving our body with our bodily fluids. Make sure you drink gallons of water and eat a bit more

Under my BF/Supplements there's a -200 that added my 200 calories a day. So I do 1400 per day.

Mkserpa

Sorry, just had a look at your diary which is public. Your trying to eat at 1200 cals a day while breastfeeding. This is not only not enough it is also not healthy for your baby. Toxins and other nasty things are being stored in our fat and when losing weight/fat the toxins are leaving our body with our bodily fluids. Make sure you drink gallons of water and eat a bit more

I also drink between 10-12 glasses of water a day. I stopped logging today after my dinner (was furious about another night without exercise so I didn't complete today's log). If you look back at previous days, I drink a ton of water. I log it under my BF/Supplements/Liquids as well as glasses of water/carbonated water/etc

CnocNaCu

ok, then you're on the right track. :flowerforyou:

annabellj

ok so i was a sahm mom for 20 yrs. this is what i did, hubs was not the best at helping when they were little. get one of those front carriers and walk with her in that. she will love the closeness hopefully. i also used the baby as a weight as you said youare doing. superman air lifts and such. i also danced around the living room with the baby on my hip. they loved that. with good music on, you work up a darn good sweat. dont give up, keep on trying different ideas until one sticks. good luck!

Kwuz

What about getting a front pack so you can carry her while on walks - perhaps see if you can borrow one incase she doesn't like that too.

Baby is still very young, don't be so desperate to lose the weight that you end up frustrated and unhappy. YOu won't look back and be pleased about how quickly you managed to lose the weight post baby, you will look back and think about the time you spent with baby, being happy (or not) etc etc etc.

I'd try the DVDs again and maybe look to do them in the evening once your husband is at home rather than trying to go to the gym late. Actually, I'd try bubs in a front pack first Good luck.

Mkserpa

ok, then you're on the right track. :flowerforyou:

It took me a while to figure out the calorie thing. I found on here I can add 'breastfeeding' to my food log and it counts a negative calorie, without it including it as an exercise. Pretty neat!

NicolettetheGreek

Wow! You really have a lot going on! I admire your willingness to try to be everything to everybody, but that will not last long.

You are probably not going to like what I have to say, but please at least consider it. First, you just had a baby, planned(?) or unplanned. It doesn't really matter. At the moment, and for many more years, you have a little person who is totally dependent on you. Yes, you!
If I were you, I would look at my priorities differently. Whether or not you like it, BABY comes first. Like another poster said, a baby will notice when your not really "there" with her(?). Breastfeeding should be a bonding time with your baby, a relaxed and loving time. Plus, it helps burn calories. Even Selma Hayek said that's how she lost her pregnancy weight. Not that she is an expert, but she is about the only celeb that I have heard say that.

Also, the college classes. Hey..you just had a baby. I realize college is great and all, but your baby needs you for the first 5 or 6 years. To be there. Those years are extremely crucial to their development. So, could you put school of? Maybe take 1 or 2 classes a semester until you have TIME. I know it is hard to push your dream away, but I did. And yes, I was a bit resentful. But, ultimately it helped me in my Nursing career to have the multitasking abilities from raising a child.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. And, congrats on your new bundle of joy!!

Mkserpa

What about getting a front pack so you can carry her while on walks - perhaps see if you can borrow one incase she doesn't like that too.

Baby is still very young, don't be so desperate to lose the weight that you end up frustrated and unhappy. YOu won't look back and be pleased about how quickly you managed to lose the weight post baby, you will look back and think about the time you spent with baby, being happy (or not) etc etc etc.

I'd try the DVDs again and maybe look to do them in the evening once your husband is at home rather than trying to go to the gym late. Actually, I'd try bubs in a front pack first Good luck.

I do have a front pack (baby bjorn). She likes it for a little while. That's actually how I get my housework done is with her in that hehe.

Kwuz

Use that as your exercise then. Even if it is just down the road and back, it is fresh air, time together, relaxed....

bahama_mama36

Wow...your situation is a lot like mine when I was a new, young mom. My daughter practically lived in a swing, just so I didn't have to hold her 24/7. I also propped her up in a walker with towels and blankets when she was able to hold her head up. My advice would be to do jumping jacks or hula. It's great cardio that you can do for a few mins at a time several times a day, if needed. My escape was a daily trip to the grocery store. I enjoyed my free time til I came home to a crying baby with a dirty diaper! Men!!

Mkserpa

Wow! You really have a lot going on! I admire your willingness to try to be everything to everybody, but that will not last long.

You are probably not going to like what I have to say, but please at least consider it. First, you just had a baby, planned(?) or unplanned. It doesn't really matter. At the moment, and for many more years, you have a little person who is totally dependent on you. Yes, you!
If I were you, I would look at my priorities differently. Whether or not you like it, BABY comes first. Like another poster said, a baby will notice when your not really "there" with her(?). Breastfeeding should be a bonding time with your baby, a relaxed and loving time. Plus, it helps burn calories. Even Selma Hayek said that's how she lost her pregnancy weight. Not that she is an expert, but she is about the only celeb that I have heard say that.

Also, the college classes. Hey..you just had a baby. I realize college is great and all, but your baby needs you for the first 5 or 6 years. To be there. Those years are extremely crucial to their development. So, could you put school of? Maybe take 1 or 2 classes a semester until you have TIME. I know it is hard to push your dream away, but I did. And yes, I was a bit resentful. But, ultimately it helped me in my Nursing career to have the multitasking abilities from raising a child.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. And, congrats on your new bundle of joy!!

I hear you. Definitely. The reason I'm having such difficulties is because I'm putting her first. I could NOT breastfeed, then I'd have more time (A LOT MORE!) to myself. She eats every 2 hours for about 15 minutes each feeding (then 15 minutes to burp her and have her sit up so she doesn't spit it all back up) that's 6 hours a day I devote to feeding her. It would be much less often if I gave her formula (which I refuse to do because breastfeeding is best for her).

I don't leave her with daddy at night because he will let her cry herself to sleep if I do when she wakes up every hour. I can't stand the thought of her crying herself to sleep, poor thing. I'm just trying to fit in around her random schedule some sort of an exercise routine so that I can keep up with her. I get winded when I dance with her around the house. I am overweight and my hips hurt at the end of the day. My knees hurt when I walk her around the house. This isn't the way I want to be when she starts crawling/walking and I have to keep up with her even more

Everything I do, I do for her.

Mkserpa

Wow! You really have a lot going on! I admire your willingness to try to be everything to everybody, but that will not last long.

You are probably not going to like what I have to say, but please at least consider it. First, you just had a baby, planned(?) or unplanned. It doesn't really matter. At the moment, and for many more years, you have a little person who is totally dependent on you. Yes, you!
If I were you, I would look at my priorities differently. Whether or not you like it, BABY comes first. Like another poster said, a baby will notice when your not really "there" with her(?). Breastfeeding should be a bonding time with your baby, a relaxed and loving time. Plus, it helps burn calories. Even Selma Hayek said that's how she lost her pregnancy weight. Not that she is an expert, but she is about the only celeb that I have heard say that.

Also, the college classes. Hey..you just had a baby. I realize college is great and all, but your baby needs you for the first 5 or 6 years. To be there. Those years are extremely crucial to their development. So, could you put school of? Maybe take 1 or 2 classes a semester until you have TIME. I know it is hard to push your dream away, but I did. And yes, I was a bit resentful. But, ultimately it helped me in my Nursing career to have the multitasking abilities from raising a child.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. And, congrats on your new bundle of joy!!

I understand what you're saying about school as well. Unfortunately, we will need the income when my unemployment runs out. I've got 2 semesters left. I was laid off of my previous job so I'm home with the baby until I finish school. So I kinda have to go. I would give anything to spend her childhood at home with her. I'm considering myself lucky to get to spend these first few months with her.

Mkserpa

Wow...your situation is a lot like mine when I was a new, young mom. My daughter practically lived in a swing, just so I didn't have to hold her 24/7. I also propped her up in a walker with towels and blankets when she was able to hold her head up. My advice would be to do jumping jacks or hula. It's great cardio that you can do for a few mins at a time several times a day, if needed. My escape was a daily trip to the grocery store. I enjoyed my free time til I came home to a crying baby with a dirty diaper! Men!!

lol yes, that's how it is when I do leave her with him! hehe

neo200120018

Wow you are coping with alot!

For a suggestion to work out at home I work shift work and in a town without at 24hr gym and quiet often too hard to go for a walk so I do Zumba on the Wii right in my lounge at what ever time I want I burn between 800-900cals an hour worth a suggestion? you could do a 20-30min one when shes asleep!

Goodluck!

neo200120018

oh and its so fun!

Mkserpa

Thank you all for the comments and letting me rant. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in these first few months of being a new mommy. It's most certainly a challenging experience and trying to figure it all out is just part of the fun :P

I'm going to try to incorporate more 'at home' workouts as many of you have recommended and kindly suggested. As well as perhaps taking it easier on myself and realizing that: *this is the important part* - It took me 9 months to put on the weight, it's not going to come off over night!

neaneawy

I'm a stay home mom of 3 little ones. 4, 3, and 17mo. It's VERY hard to figure out where your health priorities fit into the picture with little ones demanding so much of your time. I have the same problems with my DH, school and work. He's aware of all the alone time he gets. I have to make sure I'm communicating with him regularly on my needs so he can help out. He wants me to be healthy too. I've let my needs slide for almost 5 yr. now and that's why I'm 50 lbs overweight.

1st - yes hubby works and goes to school, but you are exactly right that he has a break because he does everything minus baby. It is his child too and he needs to share some responsibility in that. Stay at home mommies get kid free time too. You will not be a healthy mother or wife if you do not get time for yourself. Sit down with DH and let him know your concerns and work out something.
2nd - don't expect too much too quickly. Maybe you should stick with just the 500 cal deficit for 1lb weight loss per week. If you're breastfeeding you're also burning around 500 cals a day doing that as well. You don't want to restrict your cals and affect the quantity or quality of your milk.
Exercising with kids can be done. All of mine are home. I usually do a workout DVD when the baby takes a nap in the morning or afternoon. My two older kids play in the playroom or outside. They're learning to leave me alone during this time. When I have all 3 with I put the two older ones in the stroller and the baby in the Moby wrap and we go walking. Since yours doesn't like the stroller try a different carrier. My baby usually falls asleep in the Moby if it's nap time when we're walking. MFP has a walking choice for walking carrying a 20lb pack/infant. I find this to be my highest cal burn exercise. Keep track of your pace too as you might be walking faster than MFP assumes you're walking with a baby.

My best suggestion for helping with baby's quirks about sleeping is to read Baby Wise. My OB suggested I read it when I went back to work with my 1st. I was exhausted, milk supply was down, baby wasn't gaining, and he wasn't sleeping. Not a good recipe for success for a new working mommy. The guidelines really helped and it's worked with all 3 of my kids.

Good luck!

neaneawy

I'm a stay home mom of 3 little ones. 4, 3, and 17mo. It's VERY hard to figure out where your health priorities fit into the picture with little ones demanding so much of your time. I have the same problems with my DH, school and work. He's aware of all the alone time he gets. I have to make sure I'm communicating with him regularly on my needs so he can help out. He wants me to be healthy too. I've let my needs slide for almost 5 yr. now and that's why I'm 50 lbs overweight.

1st - yes hubby works and goes to school, but you are exactly right that he has a break because he does everything minus baby. It is his child too and he needs to share some responsibility in that. Stay at home mommies get kid free time too. You will not be a healthy mother or wife if you do not get time for yourself. Sit down with DH and let him know your concerns and work out something.
2nd - don't expect too much too quickly. Maybe you should stick with just the 500 cal deficit for 1lb weight loss per week. If you're breastfeeding you're also burning around 500 cals a day doing that as well. You don't want to restrict your cals and affect the quantity or quality of your milk.
Exercising with kids can be done. All of mine are home. I usually do a workout DVD when the baby takes a nap in the morning or afternoon. My two older kids play in the playroom or outside. They're learning to leave me alone during this time. When I have all 3 with I put the two older ones in the stroller and the baby in the Moby wrap and we go walking. Since yours doesn't like the stroller try a different carrier. My baby usually falls asleep in the Moby if it's nap time when we're walking. MFP has a walking choice for walking carrying a 20lb pack/infant. I find this to be my highest cal burn exercise. Keep track of your pace too as you might be walking faster than MFP assumes you're walking with a baby.

My best suggestion for helping with baby's quirks about sleeping is to read Baby Wise. My OB suggested I read it when I went back to work with my 1st. I was exhausted, milk supply was down, baby wasn't gaining, and he wasn't sleeping. Not a good recipe for success for a new working mommy. The guidelines really helped and it's worked with all 3 of my kids.

Good luck!

Kwuz

I'm going to try to incorporate more 'at home' workouts as many of you have recommended and kindly suggested. As well as perhaps taking it easier on myself and realizing that: *this is the important part* - It took me 9 months to put on the weight, it's not going to come off over night!

I'm so pleased you have said that. I think you are expecting too much of yourself, cut yourself some slack here, enjoy the moment for what it is. They weight will come off, there is no reason why it has to be right now. I think it takes a good year for your body to return back to normal (hormone wise) and breastfeeding itself should help with your weight loss (plus it looks like you've done really well with that to date anyway).

I had two very unsettled little ones (colic and reflux) so I know how demanding those early months can be. It does get better so hang in there and be kind to yourself. I think once you cut yourself some slack and enjoy it for what it is, you will not feel the frustration you have now (although I'd be very frustrated with a slack dad - perhaps a wee chat with him could be in order too as there is lots he coudl do to help even if bubs just wants to be with you anyway).

Good luck!!!!

NicolettetheGreek

Hi new Mommie! I love, Love, LOVE that you said "Everything I do, I do for her." Bless your heart. I really do understand what you are going through. I was a single Mom , in the ARMY, and worked another job. I never saw my daughter awake during the week. Seriously. For about 6 or so months. It was terrible. I mised out on so much when she was little, cuz of being in the Army. We were stationed in Germany..I was in the field a lot, for up to 45 days at a time. I missed so much of her early childhood.

Now, on the other hand, is my daughter. She is 27, and has 2 children, 1 -5, and 1 -2yrs. and she is a stay at home mommie. She is blessed to have a husband who makes enough money so they can afford it. But what her kids know astounds me! They soak up everything she says or does..It's amazing. Makes me feel like crap to have practically abandoned her..

Do what you need to honey. You will choose the correct path. I will keep you in my payers also.

God Bless your family!!

Nicolette