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tashaa1992

I love you Mark . I always have and I always will. I want to spend my life with you because you are my world. You weren't just my boyfriend, you were my best friend too and I know I don't trust you anymore but nothing will change how I feel. I knew you were the one the first time I met you, no one will ever come close to you. I don't want anyone else, just you. I remember all our good times everyday, the way you made me laugh so hard I thought I was literally going to wet myself haha:( Then I remind myself of all the times you made me cry, you made me feel like the ugliest person alive. I never hated you for it, I just didn't understand it. It hurts because when I got with you I didn't know what I was taking on, I didn't know about your sydrome or anything but I never judged you for it, I always tried to be understanding. I stuck with you throughout everything, it was so hard sometimes but you knew I had anorexia all along, you always knew if we got together it would be hard. I'm sorry for everything mark. Maybe if I hadn't been so difficult we would still be together, I'm sorry I listened to my anorexia. Mark I know I chose to go but I thought you would try and stop me I regret walking away every single day, if I could do it all again I would. I want our children, imagine how stubborn they'd be with us as parents hahaha! I just want to be by your side, you and I against the world again but you're not here anymore. I know you don't want to be with me and I know I have to accept it it's just hard. Everyone says it'll get better and I will get over you but it doesn't, I won't, my heart will always belong to you.

Your Tashy
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tashaa1992

I've been wanting to say this to my ex for a long time. I can't deal with the embarrassment of texting it to him so I wrote it here. Sorry I hope no one gets annoyed.

paleojamie

be nice if someone could feel like that about me

But wow that is really nice, tell hime that .. if I was told that I would be so happy

BarbWhite09

O.o

ryansgram

You can say anything you want. I'm not annoyed. Hope you feel better soon.

delilah47

Sweetie;
I followed your other post and posted my opinion there. I understand you feel abandoned, lonely and scared. You are exhibiting typical abuse victim's behavior. Please see it that way and read your own words. You are, again, trying to blame yourself for Mark's rejection. It is NOT your fault. He babied you and showed you affection and "love" until you trusted him completely, then he started trying to manipulate you and then, eventually, blamed you for the abuse he was inflicting upon you. Stay strong and just try to see that Mark isn't the answer to your problems. You deserve someone that truly loves you and treats you special ALL the time.
Good luck and GB Don't give up. You will be successful one day and let yourself love and be loved the right way...Love should never hurt :flowerforyou: