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Kanderson46
Kanderson46 Posts: 86
in Chit-Chat
I want to ask a question.........and it really doesnt have awhole lot to do with dieting.,.well I guess it might alittle....because whenever I get upset about this I tend to eat more and sometimes I dont eat..anyways....I am seeing someone ...been seeing him for almost a year now..........and lately he brings me down more then he makes me happy......and I think maybe I need to make a decision real fast here.....????? thanks for listening........

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  • Kanderson46
    Kanderson46 Posts: 86
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    I want to ask a question.........and it really doesnt have awhole lot to do with dieting.,.well I guess it might alittle....because whenever I get upset about this I tend to eat more and sometimes I dont eat..anyways....I am seeing someone ...been seeing him for almost a year now..........and lately he brings me down more then he makes me happy......and I think maybe I need to make a decision real fast here.....????? thanks for listening........
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    is he filthy rich?
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Do you want to be sad/unhappy more then you want to be happy?? :flowerforyou:

    Dump the bum. :smokin:
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
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    rich or not, if you are miserable there is only one answer - give him the boot! the sooner the better :flowerforyou:
  • Kanderson46
    Kanderson46 Posts: 86
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    LOL...of course he's not filthy rich............Thanks for making me smile.
  • jackeh
    jackeh Posts: 1,515 Member
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    I think you know the answer ... or you wouldnt be asking the question:flowerforyou:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    LOL...of course he's not filthy rich............Thanks for making me smile.

    they call me Sunshine:laugh:
  • kristie874
    kristie874 Posts: 774 Member
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    Have you let him know this yet? Is it maybe that he's upset about something or something in his life has been bothering him? If you communicate your feelings and needs with him this might help. If you communicate this with him and he blows you off, refuses to try to understand, or continues making you feel down, it's time to drop him. For me breakups are the best way to lose weight! LOL Good luck to you. Remember that you are the most important person.
  • kristie874
    kristie874 Posts: 774 Member
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    Have you let him know this yet? Is it maybe that he's upset about something or something in his life has been bothering him? If you communicate your feelings and needs with him this might help. If you communicate this with him and he blows you off, refuses to try to understand, or continues making you feel down, it's time to drop him. For me breakups are the best way to lose weight! LOL Good luck to you. Remember that you are the most important person.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    LOL...of course he's not filthy rich............Thanks for making me smile.

    they call me Sunshine:laugh:

    "THEY" don't around here! :laugh:
  • Kanderson46
    Kanderson46 Posts: 86
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    You know ..you are right......I do know what the answer is.......see..my divorce has just been recently final....it was going on forever..and I guess Im just scare to be alone...pretty stupid huh? I know this isnt really a place for this kind of problem..but sometimes I just dont know what to do.......I was married for 23 years and ya know..this is going to sound terrible but I have always been with a man.....and yes I have worked my whole life...so whats the deal? I am also reading a book now called "single ..the art of being satisfied fulfilled and indepedent,..AND I really want to go back to school...thanks so much for all your replies........you people are so nice!
  • dclarsh
    dclarsh Posts: 364
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    Kick his butt to the curb. The sooner, the better. Now is the time to focus on you, and what's best for you and your kids. Sounds like this dude just ain't cuttin' it.
  • ricksnaustin
    ricksnaustin Posts: 439 Member
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    I say relationships are like cars. If it ain't hitting on all eight cylinders, it either needs a tune up or an overhaul. If it needs an overhaul, you have to determine if it is worth the investment to fix it, or if it is better to get a new one.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    You know ..you are right......I do know what the answer is.......see..my divorce has just been recently final....it was going on forever..and I guess Im just scare to be alone...pretty stupid huh? I know this isnt really a place for this kind of problem..but sometimes I just dont know what to do.......I was married for 23 years and ya know..this is going to sound terrible but I have always been with a man.....and yes I have worked my whole life...so whats the deal? I am also reading a book now called "single ..the art of being satisfied fulfilled and indepedent,..AND I really want to go back to school...thanks so much for all your replies........you people are so nice!

    any big change like that is tough and it is completely natural to be scared...

    there is a good book called
    Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be

    hang in there
    dont make any quick decisions on what this group or any group tells you to do
    :smile:
  • Kanderson46
    Kanderson46 Posts: 86
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    THank you so much for information on the book........reading books tend to help me alot.......I really appreciate it!!!!!!
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    is he filthy rich?

    Pointed, perfect, key question Dave..... (and in my experience, the filthy rich ones work a lot, so they are out of your hair!).
    :tongue:

    Kidding btw...
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    Good luck working this out.
    :frown:

    I think it's great that you were able to see this (it took me 30 years to make this connection in my relationship with my mother - I always wanted to eat ice cream after I got off the phone with her).

    I think we always need to ask ourselves, what value the relationships in our lives bring to our lives. If he is always bringing you down, it might be worth re-evaluating. Another simple strategy to try, is for you enter each encounter in a posivite way (sounds corny, stick with me for a sec) so that you set up the communication to be positive. I've tried this strategy with my mother, and it's working like a charm!).

    Take good care.
    :flowerforyou:
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    Hi

    I'm going to take a different spin on this...and I'm not saying you should stay with him or that you can't do better :)
    BUT I often view relationship like a career/job search
    I worked in HR for 7/8 years and everyone always complains about their current employer and they always think the grass is greener
    I can't tell you how many times people left only to call me rather quickly about getting their job back..once they saw what it was like to work elsewhere

    EVERY relationship is hard work, every relationship has it's ups/down....no one is perfect....
    I think the deeper you get into a relationship and the more you have invested the harder it becomes....
    Relationships aren't all butterflies and perfections like it is portrayed in movies/books

    BUT it sounds like you came out of one long relationship (marriage) and into something else?
    Maybe you are holding on for the wrong reasons...
    Have you talked to your bf about your issues/concerns...ie he willing to work on the things that are upsetting you?

    Kim
  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    Hi

    I'm going to take a different spin on this...and I'm not saying you should stay with him or that you can't do better :)
    BUT I often view relationship like a career/job search
    I worked in HR for 7/8 years and everyone always complains about their current employer and they always think the grass is greener
    I can't tell you how many times people left only to call me rather quickly about getting their job back..once they saw what it was like to work elsewhere

    EVERY relationship is hard work, every relationship has it's ups/down....no one is perfect....
    I think the deeper you get into a relationship and the more you have invested the harder it becomes....
    Relationships aren't all butterflies and perfections like it is portrayed in movies/books

    BUT it sounds like you came out of one long relationship (marriage) and into something else?
    Maybe you are holding on for the wrong reasons...
    Have you talked to your bf about your issues/concerns...ie he willing to work on the things that are upsetting you?

    Kim

    I like your response Kim - good perspective.
    :flowerforyou:

    It makes me think about friends of ours who are always looking for a new house, and lusting after the bigger and better everything.... imagine you treated your spouse that way.... always lusting after what you can't get... and what might not even be better....
    :smile:

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