Relationship problems.

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kcgirl1345
kcgirl1345 Posts: 8
in Chit-Chat
Okay, my ex recently broke up w me and the only reason he broke up with me was because i was being controlling and stuff.. He said i wasnt listening to him, and that i was being clingy. I didnt intend to do all of that. He seems to hate my guts

he used me.....

Everyones trying to to tel me to move on and stuff, but for some reason i cant. I havent come to face the fact tehre are many other guys in this world.
I see him everyday and i cant get out of being around him becuase of the community im in.

I need some help on trying to move on.

Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Desperate is never attractive, so you're not going to win him back behaving that way.

    It sounds like he's done with you and you just need to accept that. It hurts and it's hard, but it does get easier with time.

    I don't know what anyone here can say that it sounds like your friends haven't already said.
  • kcgirl1345
    kcgirl1345 Posts: 8
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.

    Sorry to be blunt. But yes, you are.

    The only way you'll ever even have a chance with him is when you can prove you don't need him. Find a hobby that lets you run with other people. Make new friends. Stay busy.
  • kcgirl1345
    kcgirl1345 Posts: 8
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.

    Sorry to be blunt. But yes, you are.

    The only way you'll ever even have a chance with him is when you can prove you don't need him. Find a hobby that lets you run with other people. Make new friends. Stay busy.

    I dont try to fix things anymore. so.......
  • jankleberry
    jankleberry Posts: 508
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    Been there. Thought I would never get over him. Now when I look back I cant believe I wasted so much time thinking about him. Just concentrate on yourself for a while, better yourself, learn something new. I learned to drive after splitting up with my ex and that was a huge confidence boost.

    And it DOES get easier.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    Yeah, learning something new or doing something focused on yourself and improving yourself or reaching some goal or working toward some dream you've had is the best thing to do right now. It can be hard to get over people but you don't need to do it by finding another relationship. If you become happy with yourself and your accomplishments and happy without him (or any relationship), that's the best thing you can do for both yourself and your relationships.
  • YMark
    YMark Posts: 65 Member
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.

    You're 18. And you're acting like it.
  • curvygirl512
    curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
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    You're in a bit of a tough spot. Your profile says you're 18. If you're still in HS, and someone else is dictating what you do all day every day, it's harder to avoid someone. If you're out of HS, working or in college, and you pretty much control your schedule, you'll probably have an easier time.

    I agree with the poster who suggested staying busy and finding a hobby or anything to do that minimize your running into each other. Make new friends by going somewhere new--new gym, different exercise class, etc.

    And it will get easier with time.

    Good luck.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    I'm from a small town. Do yourself a favor and realise it just isn't going to work. Keep yourself busy. If there was any hope for you then he wouldn't be putting off the " I HATE YOUR GUTS' vibe. Some things just are not meant to be. "Its not how many times you fall that counts, its how many times you pick yourself back up!"
  • xosmsox
    xosmsox Posts: 119
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.

    Sorry to be blunt. But yes, you are.

    The only way you'll ever even have a chance with him is when you can prove you don't need him. Find a hobby that lets you run with other people. Make new friends. Stay busy.
    Definitely this ^ I've never ever known a man who appreciated feeling controlled. And desperate and clingy and weepy is unattractive, you said it seems like he hates you! If that isn't an indicator is totally, irrevocably forever over, then I don't know what is
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Well i'm sorry to say this, but none the less, it's the truth. You're only 18. The last thing you need in your life is a man. What you DO need is to get your education and get out in the world and experience it through your own eyes!! You don't need a man tying you down and trying to tell you how to live your life. I'm sure your parents have done a lovely job of that already :) So take the bull by the horns and get out there and live life...with your friends...have fun, travel and learn about things, about yourself. Then when you've discovered all the wonderful things that you truly are and can be? You will find that you really don't need anyone but yourself....but you may want a few things that by then will be yours for the taking :))
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Dang, sorry but to be blunt as the rest are I seriously thought you were a living the life of a 30 year old... I can't believe you are 18! This is definitely not the way a 18 year old should be letting relationships work. The guy wants to move on from you and you should too. You have a whole life ahead of you and you should take charge and do something with yourself and enjoy your youth and independence.
  • ryansgram
    ryansgram Posts: 693 Member
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    Breaking up hurts no matter what your age. But i have to agree with the others. You have a whole life ahead of you. Enjoy it. You will experience this many times in your life, (hopefully not too many). You need to learn how to take care of YOU right now. Dont focus on the bad, focus on healing you. Some relationships just aren't meant to be, no matter how much you want it. Just be glad you're not married to him with kids. Good Luck
  • Being2befit
    Being2befit Posts: 127 Member
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    As hard as it is to walk away from someone you really truely loved/liked you have too show your strong and you dont need him..once he sees your happy and at peace he will come.back wanting.you back
  • BritFitB
    BritFitB Posts: 106 Member
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    Look at it as a way to begin a new journey.. I'm sure it sounds cliche, but clinging to the past is clinging and it will only rob you of your time. I'm sure there were reasons for what he did, and whatever they were, it's no longer your concern. No good will come to you holding on to false hope.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    im not sounding desperate.... honestly.

    You're 18. And you're acting like it.

    I agree that it is important to keep in mind you are only 18.

    I think you might "seem" desperate on MFP simply because you are being honest in order to seek the best advice possible *smart*

    She might be straight forward about her feelings and *seem* desperate here, but that doesn't mean she is showing that side in real life.

    Point is, you are only 18 and it is normal to feel this way after a break up. Don't worry. You are a beautiful girl and have your whole life ahead of you. :) Good luck!
  • hlcook
    hlcook Posts: 92 Member
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    Well i'm sorry to say this, but none the less, it's the truth. You're only 18. The last thing you need in your life is a man. What you DO need is to get your education and get out in the world and experience it through your own eyes!! You don't need a man tying you down and trying to tell you how to live your life. I'm sure your parents have done a lovely job of that already :) So take the bull by the horns and get out there and live life...with your friends...have fun, travel and learn about things, about yourself. Then when you've discovered all the wonderful things that you truly are and can be? You will find that you really don't need anyone but yourself....but you may want a few things that by then will be yours for the taking :))

    ^^^ This.

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