OT Divorce Vent

allysonb80

It really sucks when I read posts that paint men as the *kitten* when discussing divorce issues.
I'm a man that has been royally screwed in a divorce.

Im sorry about your divorce. I am sorry you got screwed. I hope you can build a better relationship with your kids in the future.

Some men paint themselves in a bad light. I am the one always calling my ex to work out visitation. Because I feel the kids need a dad and I can see how much they miss him. He is the one who is always "too busy". This man that quit his job. I don't know what he can be too busy doing. And he was the one who quit to avoid paying anything. I don't need to paint any sort of picture. He does a good enough job on his own.

jrusso28

I hope your journey has as good as ending as mine. It didn't just happen. It took lots and lots of effort. And it took me keeping my mouth shut about their father.

I'm happy to hear that it is better for you now. I hope I get to that point soon too.

My ex has filled my kids minds with her hatred and all kinds of stories about me and my family.
I just hope that when they get older I can tell my side and we can have a good relationship. Right now I think they believe "I up and left" their mom. I was told by a shrink that I should not tell them the truth about what happened because it would hurt them if they heard that their mom was cheating on me. They were really young at the time, now early teens. I still haven't told them what happened even though they have asked. I figured the ugly details should wait until they are older and maybe mature enough to handle the truth.

dirtbikegirl5

I assume that it is spelled out in your divorce papers that he has to pay for this credit card that is in your name? I am just wondering how you prove that the charges are actually made by him since the card is in your name. Even though you have the right to repossess this car, it seriously sounds like you were given little to no legal protection here. Can you legally prove that the charges that were made on this credit card that is in your name?
Since your EX keeps the car in the garage, it will be tough, but not impossible for the repo to occur, if you can prove that he did in fact make those credit card purchases and he did not pay for them. The repossessor has to supply an order, go to the house and knock on the door and advise him to voluntarily repossess the car. It would help to have the police there, however, since this is a domestic situation and not a company repossession, chances are the police will not want to be involved.
The car title is in your name, which means that you have to pay for the insurance. The fact that he was awarded the car, unless it was specifically mentioned in your divorce papers, which I hope it was, he has no legal responsibility to pay for the insurance.
If you sign the car over to him, you are totally screwed. He could say that you coerced him into signing this paper. Notarizing doesn't mean that they are notarizing the document, just notarizing that he signed and the car is now his. You are giving up your right to suing him, as the title will no longer be in your name. The paper you wrote up will eventually lead to you getting the short end of the stick, which you seem to already have gotten.
I have been totally screwed over in my divorce like this and it made me seek out my rights. The circumstances are different but you are re-living my divorce.

allysonb80

I assume that it is spelled out in your divorce papers that he has to pay for this credit card that is in your name? I am just wondering how you prove that the charges are actually made by him since the card is in your name. Even though you have the right to repossess this car, it seriously sounds like you were given little to no legal protection here. Can you legally prove that the charges that were made on this credit card that is in your name?
Since your EX keeps the car in the garage, it will be tough, but not impossible for the repo to occur, if you can prove that he did in fact make those credit card purchases and he did not pay for them. The repossessor has to supply an order, go to the house and knock on the door and advise him to voluntarily repossess the car. It would help to have the police there, however, since this is a domestic situation and not a company repossession, chances are the police will not want to be involved.
The car title is in your name, which means that you have to pay for the insurance. The fact that he was awarded the car, unless it was specifically mentioned in your divorce papers, which I hope it was, he has no legal responsibility to pay for the insurance.
If you sign the car over to him, you are totally screwed. He could say that you coerced him into signing this paper. Notarizing doesn't mean that they are notarizing the document, just notarizing that he signed and the car is now his. You are giving up your right to suing him, as the title will no longer be in your name. The paper you wrote up will eventually lead to you getting the short end of the stick, which you seem to already have gotten.
I have been totally screwed over in my divorce like this and it made me seek out my rights. The circumstances are different but you are re-living my divorce.

Yes, this is spelled out in the divorce paperwork. There are no new charges on this card as it was closed a year prior to our divorce. The only reason why it was given to him in the settlement was to "even" things out. (So we each left the divorce with the same amount of debt.) I wanted the car in the divoce which would have evened things out without leaving him responsible for a debt in my name but that would give me 2 cars and him none. The courts didn't agree with leaving him carless, after all he needed a way to make it to work. *SNORT* :grumble:

dovesgate

Thank you everyone for the care and concern. And thank you to those of you who have emailed me as well. Maybe if I specify the question I have one of you may know an answer? Again, nothing to do with child support. I have that covered as much as I can with the state Support Services. (And someone asked how he got out of paying... he quit his job. He still "owes" but doesn't pay due to being "unemployed".)

Try to stay with me here:
. So now I have been paying for a car I don't have (when I moed the title in my name only which I had to do to repo I had to carry insurance on the car. Not to mantion he let the insurance lapse in August) So I have been paying insurance for several months. Now the car is late for registration and has to have emissions to get it registered. I dont have the car to get the emissions plus I don't want to pay for the registration as well as the insurance I have been paying.

It's time to call the Sheriff's department if I understand correctly that the vehicle is in your name only, you have title and insurance on it and he is keeping it from you so that you can't register it. That is theft.

If his name is on it, then yikes, what a situation. THis is something interesting I found while Googling your state's repo laws:

Failure to Return Your Motor Vehicle May Be a Felony
Arizona law makes it a Class 6 Felony to fail to return your vehicle in certain situations. In order for you to be prosecuted for a Class 6 Felony, the following conditions must be met:

1.Your original contract must warn you that it is unlawful to return a motor vehicle subject to a security interest upon notice of default.
2.You must have failed to make a payment for more than ninety days.
3.Your creditor must have sent you a notice indicating you are in default, requesting that you return the vehicle, and explaining how to return your vehicle.
4.You fail to cure the default within thirty days of receipt of the above-letter.

Certified letter with proof of delivery should start the clock ticking on his 30 days.
http://www.azlawhelp.org/articles_info.cfm?mc=4&sc=26&articleid=11

This site looks promising for answers:
http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice/Debt Collection?ref=breadcrumb

Good luck with this whole situation.

La_Amazona

I'm sorry.

I'm SO glad I didn't have kids with my ex... made things so much easier. ((HUGS!))

killagb

ctalimenti

There's a great forum: divorcesupport.com.

Beatlegirl66

I'm sorry.

I'm SO glad I didn't have kids with my ex... made things so much easier. ((HUGS!))

I have to agree...although at times I regret not having kids with him because we were planning on having them and I sort of was sad that it didn't happen. But then I read things such as what's posted here and I count my blessings that I do not have children.

My heart goes out to you. I had no idea how expensive a lawyer was until I got divorced. I made one phone call that lasted about 10 minutes and was charged $75. Insane. And my ex stayed in my lawyers office for as long as he could one afternoon when he was supposed to sign divorce papers just to make my lawyer bill higher. $200 just because he was farting around and not signing the papers. Hang in there....things will work out in time. Just take things one step at a time.

Sara S.

irisheyes1977

my divorce was finalized the day after christmas of this past year. my ex has only made 2 efforts to see the kids in the past 5 years.. he is out on the east coast..never calls...never sends them anything...i have always been honest with my kids..i explain things when they ask i may just not go into full depth or detail but at the same time i dont speak ill of him even though i have my own thoughts about him im not going to fill their heads with what i feel...i think they should have their own thoughts and perceptions..as far as what to do about ur vehicle...does your court offer an attorney of the day? one of my friends used to call law schools and alot of times students take on some cases while under supervision for a much smaller fee. have u looked into any of those options?


dont grade me on my grammer im a lazy typer but speak proper..lol