I don't need a "friend", I need a drill sargeant!

shorthand73

I've only been at this for a couple of weeks (this time). I always start out pretty strong and am able to lose a few pounds. Then, before long, I start to get a little more 'complacent' about logging, skipping workouts, etc. So, I get frustrated and soon I am not doing it at all. I go back to my 'normal' ways until I gain those few pounds back and get disgusted with myself, and then I start all over again! I feel like I never really give myself a fair shot at making any REAL change.

The community here on MFP is fantastic - very supportive and encouraging. I admit, there are days when I really do need that friendly, gentle encouragement - but more than that, I think I need a swift kick in the behind! I need someone who will be straight with me. Someone who will call me out when I'm making excuses. Someone who will give it to me when I'm not logging, or skipping workouts, or making poor food choices.

I know that sounds silly, but I know myself well enough to know what my typical pattern is, and I know that sweet, fluffy friendliness (although it does have its place) is not going to do it for me. I know that I should be mature enough or motivated enough to get myself into gear, but.... I just know that is not likely to happen. :ohwell:

So... if 'military'/'no excuses' is your style and you're not afraid of stepping on my toes or hurting my feelings and if you feel like you have the time to 'monitor' me, I would love to have you as a friend. Thank you.

TheDoctor90

Isn't it your responsibility to sort yourself out though? If you lack the strength of mind and body to pursue your goals then why should any one else push you towards them?
Yes, there is excellent support here - but people support people who do things. My friends congratulate me when I have a good workout, offer advice/tips, and motivate me when I'm perhaps not running at 100%, but I wouldn't expect them to get me from zero to hero and force me to workout, that's your job.

thatlook

Isn't it your responsibility to sort yourself out though? If you lack the strength of mind and body to pursue your goals then why should any one else push you towards them?
Yes, there is excellent support here - but people support people who do things. My friends congratulate me when I have a good workout, offer advice/tips, and motivate me when I'm perhaps not running at 100%, but I wouldn't expect them to get me from zero to hero and force me to workout, that's your job.

well said!!

i dont think your very commited to changing the way you are, so why should anyone have to coach you into doing it???
if you want to change your body and mind only you can do that nothing anyone else says will help you to do it. ive been overweight for the majority of my life my friends and family have all tried in their own ways to help me but it was always down to me, nothing they did or said changed what i was doing (or in my case not) or how i ate, today my mother said to me "im really proud of you for changing so much and really sticking to this, i just wish you could have done it 10yrs ago" my reply to her was "i was happy being fat until this last year, i didnt want to change because i didnt have a problem with being overweight, in my eyes it was everyone else's problem" and that is genuinely how i felt, but towards the middle of last year i decided that i didnt want to be like i was anymore (i can say 'was' because i wont go back!) and since then i began to change my habits as of the 2nd of jan i really committed myself to changing the way i live once and for all, i see this as the way i should live for the rest of my life not a diet. i hope you can find your inner strength to combat your own personal demons as far as complacency goes, i do know its hard but only you can do it!!

shorthand73

Perhaps I did not word my original post correctly. I fully realize that this is something that I am responsible for. I am not looking for someone else to be responsible for my health/weight loss, etc. - (especially not long term!) nor am I looking for someone to do it for me. I just need someone to hold me accountable and push me a little bit until I gain enough momentum to do it on my own. In my mind, asking for a little coaching/help IS taking responsibility - because I know that for whatever reason, I can't quite seem to get it together on my own right now. Eating healthy, making exercise a priority - those are all things that are new to me. It's a new way of thinking - a new way of life - and I just need someone to help me navigate that a little bit. If I want to train for a marathon or start lifting weights, I am not lacking responsibility because I hire a trainer to teach me how to do it or to push me beyond my limits. If I need to get something straight in my marriage, I am not lacking responsiblity because I consult a therapist to help me sort through what went wrong or what I need to change. I don't see how asking someone to help keep me 'on point' is any different.

thatlook

i understand what your saying ive been there for years, would only do a 'diet' for a few weeks at a time as soon as i began to lose weight i would get lazy about it, like i said before its only you who will motivate yourself into continuing your weight loss journey.

sorry for sounding mean before but reading your original post was like reading something i would have said 3/4 years ago, that being said you can add me if you like (if you don't i wont be offended!), i wont promise to be there at every step but my personal motivation may help you to sustain your own!!

Good luck with achieving your goal either way :flowerforyou: