absolutely horrible week and even more stressful weekend!

persian_dancer

So, just to give some backround. My best friend and his wife was murdered and I am having a really hard time dealing with it, besides that I have lost 3 family members as well since October. I'm surprised I can still function normally. Anyway, now I am having a problem with some "friends" who say they don't want to hang out with me because I am emotional sometimes. I don't show it all the time because I don't want to be around me when I am like that all the time. Throughout all this I have lost some weight. Only a couple pounds, but I am losing inches off my waist, I got into a pair of jeans I haven't fit into for 2 years :bigsmile: That was the one good thing this week.

I broke up with my bf yesterday, but not much has really changed, but I did that because he cannot be there for me how I need. He needs to to mature a bit and i need to grab hold of my life, get some counseling and figure myself out again. I rarely drink, even though I am in college. Maybe once a month sometimes twice, but thats usually it. I've been trying to keep the alcohol within my calories by working out a lot to gain a lot of calories and save some for drinking BUT I've drank the last 2 nights in a row and I worked out Friday, but not yesterday because I was so upset and couldn't walk without crying much less run :indifferent: I didn't even get 4 glasses of water in me yesterday.

Bottom line guys, I need motivation to keep this up and if anyone has any advice on helping with depression. THANK YOU!

persian_dancer

So, just to give some backround. My best friend and his wife was murdered and I am having a really hard time dealing with it, besides that I have lost 3 family members as well since October. I'm surprised I can still function normally. Anyway, now I am having a problem with some "friends" who say they don't want to hang out with me because I am emotional sometimes. I don't show it all the time because I don't want to be around me when I am like that all the time. Throughout all this I have lost some weight. Only a couple pounds, but I am losing inches off my waist, I got into a pair of jeans I haven't fit into for 2 years :bigsmile: That was the one good thing this week.

I broke up with my bf yesterday, but not much has really changed, but I did that because he cannot be there for me how I need. He needs to to mature a bit and i need to grab hold of my life, get some counseling and figure myself out again. I rarely drink, even though I am in college. Maybe once a month sometimes twice, but thats usually it. I've been trying to keep the alcohol within my calories by working out a lot to gain a lot of calories and save some for drinking BUT I've drank the last 2 nights in a row and I worked out Friday, but not yesterday because I was so upset and couldn't walk without crying much less run :indifferent: I didn't even get 4 glasses of water in me yesterday.

Bottom line guys, I need motivation to keep this up and if anyone has any advice on helping with depression. THANK YOU!

Dave198lbs

sorry you are going through all that.

To me it seems a normal reaction to be emotional when having to deal with so much loss.

The only advice I can give is to allow yourself to feel your loss and pain. It will take some time to adjust to the loss and the change.

Be kind to yourself. Others near your life may just not know what to do and may react badly even though they have good intentions.

There is nothing wrong with getting some counseling on all this loss and it is nothing to be ashamed of at all.

I hope you can find some peace and am sorry for your loss.

lotusfromthemud

Two bits of advice:

Allow yourself to feel bad. This is a terrible time you're going through. Crying is important.

And, try to keep moving. I find when I'm going through a bad time, the best thing is to put on sunglasses and start walking. (if the weather's nice.) That way if the crying starts, you can keep walking, and not feel embarrassed. Moving, in my opinion, helps you to work through your emotions in a way that sitting doesn't.

:flowerforyou:

ladyofivy

omg I'm so sorry! My brother was killed in January, and I'm still dealing with the grief... I can only imagine how this is affecting you.

Stay active and focused and get the counseling. Counseling can REALLY help. Just try to breathe deeply every day, write your feelings down, and walk, walk, walk. Walking increases your endorphins. You may find peace in your beliefs, and if you can, attend religious functions... church, synagogue or temple.

If you find comfort in books and believe in the afterlife, perhaps you might find peace in books about near death experiences. I like Saved by the Light by Dannion Brinkley. It's a mainly non-denominational book about one man's two near-death experiences.

Take care. If you would like to friend me, I am here to listen any time.

((((HUGS))))

havingitall

It is hard when you lose people you love. I lost both my parents within 6 weeks of each other and it was very difficult. I was fortunate enough to have a loving husband who helped me so much through it. As well, I had a boss who was very undertsanding as he was going through the same thing with his parents.

Each day gets easier but you will always miss your loved ones. My parents have been gone for over three years now and every once in a while I still find myself tearing up and missing them badly.

This is the time you need to look after you. Your best ammunition against stress is eating well, exercise and good sleep. These three help your body through the tough times and help to elevate your mood. Even if you don't feel like a major work out, try going for a walk. Stay away from the alcohol...it is a depressant and not what you need right now

Look after yourself too. Pamper yourself with somthing like a manicure or a new piece of clothing.

I hope that things turn around for you soon. Life throws these trying times at you every once in a while and I'm sure you are strong enough to get through it.