I think I'm getting a bit too Obsessed.. D:

SieSie76

I wanted to lose weight because I just wasn't happy with myself. I couldn't stand looking in the mirror and I pretty much tore myself apart mentally; constantly thinking "No one will ever want me, I'm just not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough." Thought, after thought, after thought, until I could no longer take the stress and pain of my weight.

I managed to drop past my goal weight of 125 (121.6 now), and it felt great! I'm still going. I'm no fitness freak, I don't go to the gym and I don't really work out all that much, but I've become a bit anal about what I eat and how much I eat. I've also reviewed online tests as to what my healthy weight should be, what a healthy BMI for my age and height is, what type of body shape I now have, etc etc. I somewhat freaked out when I discovered that I went from having a large hourglass shape (chest and hips were large but waist was fairly slim) to a regular pear shape (chest shrunk a lot [39 to 34], then a little in my waist [26 to 24] and a smidge in my hips [37 to 36]), and my mom said "Okay, now you're starting to go over-board."

I'm wondering, am I getting a little too obsessed about my figure and my looks? In the end, do the looks really matter? I know they say that looks don't last... but the way I think of it, I'd like to look my best while I still HAVE my looks.

Is there anyone else experiencing these same feelings? I would love to hear anyone's thoughts and opinions~

ColeyBear08

I can relate. I certainly had those feelings of self loathing and that's what got me to start losing weight. I became very obsessive and my weight loss habits began to get unhealthy. It took a lot of soul searching to recover from eating around 300 Cal a day to 1200. I think that you must address the reasons you are self loathing and address all problems then start dieting because there's a difference between wanting to get healthy and wanting to change the way you look. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with a healthy lifestyle however, until you see that youre beautiful in every way, shape, and form (which you are), your obsession may be or may be becoming unhealthy.

WhitneyAnnabelle

I posted this somewhere earlier, but I've actually given up logging my food for Lent because I've become WAY too obsessed with calories v exercise. I'm still calculating portion sizes and all that, but logging my food was really messing with me. I actually wish I had a 'body type,' especially a womanly one. I feel like the thinner I get, the more 'boy-shaped' I get. I guess my suggestion is to just work on maintaining what you've got, and if being on here is contributing to all of this, consider giving it a break. It seems like it can be really detrimental at a certain point.

Llorraine11

WHEN I READ WHAT U PUT .. CANT HELP BUT THINK.. HOW DOES SHE KNOW.. I AM THE SAME.. OBSESSED!!

LHSweeney

If you could try to get into any sort of regular physical activity it will make the shape of your body more appealing to you and boost your confidence : ) regardless of how much you weigh.
I know you don't know me but I am a little worried about you. Feel free to mssg/friend me I am willing to listen to your thoughts and concerns :flowerforyou:

mamalade1

I'm wondering, am I getting a little too obsessed about my figure and my looks? In the end, do the looks really matter? I know they say that looks don't last... but the way I think of it, I'd like to look my best while I still HAVE my looks.

Is there anyone else experiencing these same feelings? I would love to hear anyone's thoughts and opinions~

I'd say looks rate much lower than health; and anyway, does too skinny look good? How do you feel? Do you have energy? Are you happy?

I did look at your food diary & IMO, you're coming in a bit low most days. I can't imagine subsiding on less than a 1000 cals/day, not and do well at the same time.

So there's my opinion

WhitneyAnnabelle

I can relate. I certainly had those feelings of self loathing and that's what got me to start losing weight. I became very obsessive and my weight loss habits began to get unhealthy. It took a lot of soul searching to recover from eating around 300 Cal a day to 1200. I think that you must address the reasons you are self loathing and address all problems then start dieting because there's a difference between wanting to get healthy and wanting to change the way you look. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with a healthy lifestyle however, until you see that youre beautiful in every way, shape, and form (which you are), your obsession may be or may be becoming unhealthy.

You can definitely become obsessed with a healthy lifestyle. It's not clinically accepted by everyone, but orthorexia is rampant. It's kind of like this: an anorexic person watches their calories and will eat a Lean Cuisine because it's low in calories, but an orthorexic person won't eat the Lean Cuisine because it's high in sodium, and eventually they just won't eat at all because things are too 'unhealthy,' and they'd rather not eat than subject their body to unhealthiness (kind of like an anorexic person won't eat because they don't want to subject themselves to calories--I know the Lean Cuisine thing sounded counterintuitive, but I was just using as an example for orthorexia). It doesn't always happen like that, but it can and it does.

robbiejay1971

After 5 weeks of logging every calorie, I've just had a very very naughty dinner. It's good to let go once in a while because it becomes boring if you are too obsessed with it.

I have moments when I get very anal about it but then think this is a long-term plan for the rest of my life so a few little treats won't hurt!

ebaywidow

Bottom line is how do you feel about yourself now? It's ok to be cautious about what you eat, but when you begin to have anxiety over it & food (weight loss) becomes the main focus of your life & you can't have conversations with your friends without talking about anything other than food or weight loss then yes you are developing a problem which will lead to unhealthy choices. Again...how do you feel & how do you think you look? You should be really proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. Your weightloss is something that you did on your own. Yeah, you!!

BaconMD

When your entire day's food intake consists of a granola bar and a hotdog bun, I'd say you're not obsessed with being healthy. Yes, you're obsessed with losing weight. But they're two different things.

sg1982

I think this is a natural reaction to become kinda of obsessed with all what you eat. I am feeling like this. Now I just wanna be obsessed with not eating all the crap food that I used to LOVE. I still love... but I want finish it, for good!!!

magoch

I'm a costume designer for theater, and I've seen all kinds of body types (I've been doin it for 15 years). Every type can be beautiful --what I've found to be the key is people who are comfortable with themselves, whatever shape they are. I've seen size 20+ women who are beautiful because they dwell well in their skin (even if they want to lose some weight). And I've seen size 0 people with bodies that would be considered the "fashion ideal" who constantly gripe and complain about the way they look in clothes, because they feel uncomfortable in their skin.

This comes to mind because I'm working with an amazing performer right now. She's in her 40s and has a good figure (~6-8) -- some flabby bits here and there, but overall a nice shape. But the thing that makes her look fabulous, and downright sexy is her body confidence. This role requires her to look like she's trying to hard to be young and hot (mutton dressed as lamb). Everything's supposed to be too tight, too bright, and showing her underwear most of the time. And she's coming to me to find ways we can make her look MORE "sausaged" in her clothes, how we can get her belly to roll (even though it naturally doesn't), putting on too tight bras so we can get some back rolls, smashing herself into tops that wouldn't fit a 4 year old. And the whole time she's radiating comfort with herself -- even while being in a profession that is so much about appearances. If you're saying to yourself, of course she is -- it's just the part. That's not necessarily the case -- I've worked with a ton of (professional) actors and actresses that continually push to look at good as they can, even when the role calls for them to be unattractive. (aka -- they just want to be the beautiful girl in ugly glasses, not actually look ugly).

A long way of saying-- maybe now is a good time to take a break from working on your weight, to getting comfortable where you are. What makes you feel beautiful internally? What gives you inner strength or inner peace? How can you cultivate the positive, loving voice in your head (and put the negative internal and external voices on a diet)?

Jesyka_Gee

Hi Sie Sie,

After reviewing your diary for the pass week, I've noticed how you haven't been getting your 3 squares in. Not sure if thats from forgetting or if you really arent having dinner or breakfast, but be mindful that nutrition plays a major role in weight loss, and you dont want to be malnourished. I've been in your place before. At my heaviest I weighed 155 lbs and was totally and completely insecure and uncomfortable in my own skin. So when I saw results through dieting and exercising, I "became obsessed" for a bit. I realized that it wasn't a great way to be, afraid of all foods that screamed calories or fat (which is the best kinds of food!) and came back from it. Although I still count my calories, I try to do it to keep a healthy lifestyle.

As far as working out, try some light cardio to start yourself off. Running works out all parts of the body, so that can work out to be a good start. Don't ever lose sight of your goals, and if you decide to incorporate more exercises, make sure you eat 30 minutes after your work out! :-)

thepetiterunner

I'm a costume designer for theater, and I've seen all kinds of body types (I've been doin it for 15 years). Every type can be beautiful --what I've found to be the key is people who are comfortable with themselves, whatever shape they are. I've seen size 20+ women who are beautiful because they dwell well in their skin (even if they want to lose some weight). And I've seen size 0 people with bodies that would be considered the "fashion ideal" who constantly gripe and complain about the way they look in clothes, because they feel uncomfortable in their skin.

This comes to mind because I'm working with an amazing performer right now. She's in her 40s and has a good figure (~6-8) -- some flabby bits here and there, but overall a nice shape. But the thing that makes her look fabulous, and downright sexy is her body confidence. This role requires her to look like she's trying to hard to be young and hot (mutton dressed as lamb). Everything's supposed to be too tight, too bright, and showing her underwear most of the time. And she's coming to me to find ways we can make her look MORE "sausaged" in her clothes, how we can get her belly to roll (even though it naturally doesn't), putting on too tight bras so we can get some back rolls, smashing herself into tops that wouldn't fit a 4 year old. And the whole time she's radiating comfort with herself -- even while being in a profession that is so much about appearances. If you're saying to yourself, of course she is -- it's just the part. That's not necessarily the case -- I've worked with a ton of (professional) actors and actresses that continually push to look at good as they can, even when the role calls for them to be unattractive. (aka -- they just want to be the beautiful girl in ugly glasses, not actually look ugly).

A long way of saying-- maybe now is a good time to take a break from working on your weight, to getting comfortable where you are. What makes you feel beautiful internally? What gives you inner strength or inner peace? How can you cultivate the positive, loving voice in your head (and put the negative internal and external voices on a diet)?

This was fantastic. Thank you for this.

Lesa_Sass

Yes, the obsession of the mind of body image and weight loss can be a very unhealthy one. This is where we start( if we do not already have one) a very unhealthy relationship with food.

The most important thing we can do in this life is enjoy it, and try not to let an obsession over something interfere with that.

It is awesome that you are starting to recognize this behavior, of course that is the first step in the right direction.

Try to incorporate some exercise into your life. This is going to help you in more ways than just one. If you start to notice that you are eating less than 1200 calories per day, please reach out to your dr for some professional help. But I think you can do this on your own, as this can be a normal thing to do in the beginning after we reach our goal. Just make sure you eat, okay.

Charlottejogs

This is why I stopped logging- I still use the website to exchange ideas but needed to relax and let the pressure go. Good luck! I just started trying to focus on making healthy decisions and listening to my body. Remember you are a lot more than your body and quality of life is impt!

SieSie76

I guess it's not so much about the logging but just the physical change that I've been seeing. I could decide NOT to log but still be obsessed with the way I look. I just want to feel good. I admit that I'm doing this because I want to feel attractive to a certain someone... I want him to REALLY notice me and want me for my everything (mind, body, and soul), because I am madly and utterly in love with this person. Although, I have gained a lot more self-confidence from all of this. I'm not too terribly upset with my new shape, but I didn't like it.

As far as my diary, it's been tough. I wake up early to drive to work so I either end up missing breakfast or eating something small really quick. Then I find myself nibbling throughout the day and so I don't have an appetite for dinner. Not only that but I work until 5pm and don't get home until around 7pm. By that time, dinner is pretty much over or I'm too tired and just go to sleep. Right now my eating habits aren't the healthiest but that's because I'm stressed from life. I know that once I move closer to work, things will improve greatly! I've discovered that big changes in my life affect my body. The stress of school and studying was when I gained because I always had food around me to keep my energy high and my head ticking. Now with the stress of work, I find I have very little time to really eat a solid meal other than lunch.

As far as what goes into my mouth, if you look at my diaries you will see that I really don't care. I still enjoy sweets (lots of them I'm afraid) but I just eat smaller portions of them. I feel like I'm one of the weirdest dieters/obsessors in that although I worry about my figure and weight, I don't really go to EXTREME measures to obtain something better. I just try to do little changes like what foods I incorporate into my day, what time I sleep and wake up, and what exercises I do on occasion. Or I could just be telling myself all of this just to make myself feel better? I don't know...

I tried to incorporate exercise into my days but with my lifestyle, it's nearly impossible to REALLY find a good time. Either I'm too exhausted after work and go to bed early so that I can wake early (to me, good sleeping habits are more important than a good workout, but I do know that workouts can help with my sleeping habits as well). Another reason is that I help out my parents by watching my little brother on occasion. That also cuts into my workouts, but it's not very often. I could work out on the weekends... Won't do a whole lot though. I guess it would be something.

Thanks everybody for replying and giving me ideas. I'm going to try and relax a bit more and just see how things go. If my body decides it wants to be a different shape, then I guess there's really nothing I can do about it. That's just my body. You all are right in that I just need to love myself wholly and completely.

This is why I love the MFP community~ ♥♥♥♥♥

ColeyBear08

I can relate. I certainly had those feelings of self loathing and that's what got me to start losing weight. I became very obsessive and my weight loss habits began to get unhealthy. It took a lot of soul searching to recover from eating around 300 Cal a day to 1200. I think that you must address the reasons you are self loathing and address all problems then start dieting because there's a difference between wanting to get healthy and wanting to change the way you look. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with a healthy lifestyle however, until you see that youre beautiful in every way, shape, and form (which you are), your obsession may be or may be becoming unhealthy.

You can definitely become obsessed with a healthy lifestyle. It's not clinically accepted by everyone, but orthorexia is rampant. It's kind of like this: an anorexic person watches their calories and will eat a Lean Cuisine because it's low in calories, but an orthorexic person won't eat the Lean Cuisine because it's high in sodium, and eventually they just won't eat at all because things are too 'unhealthy,' and they'd rather not eat than subject their body to unhealthiness (kind of like an anorexic person won't eat because they don't want to subject themselves to calories--I know the Lean Cuisine thing sounded counterintuitive, but I was just using as an example for orthorexia). It doesn't always happen like that, but it can and it does.

Is that a healthy lifestyle? No. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with a HEALTHY lifestyle

mamalade1

I just want to say that despite the message given to women at a young age, thinness & beauty does not mean you get everything you want. You can't make someone love you, get the promotion you want, get rich, get married, whatever by being thin. It's not an automatic ticket to all success. It's just body fat.

SieSie76

I just want to say that despite the message given to women at a young age, thinness & beauty does not mean you get everything you want. You can't make someone love you, get the promotion you want, get rich, get married, whatever by being thin. It's not an automatic ticket to all success. It's just body fat.

I know that... but I do have this twisted idea that if I better shape and tone my body, he'll like me more. It's a terrible view... but it's because of this that I've pushed myself this far. Sadly, I always believed that no one would ever like me because I was pudgy. This is the mental issue I developed from being over-weight and it's a very difficult thing to shake/get over. Then it's pointed out to me that it's my mentality that is the issue... But how do you fix that? Psychologist? I can't pay for that. Pills? No thank you.

Life isn't easy, that's obvious, but I'm still going to fight through each day. Somehow. Someway.

felcandy

Psychologists and pills arent necessary. Its a choice you have to make... YOURSELF.

also... if a guy doesnt like you just because you arent skinny enough or whatever.... they arent worth your time. If he likes you, make sure its for who you are before anything else. there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good for someone, as a matter of fact that is a good thing... but if that is the only thing keeping him, he isnt worth it.

mamalade1

I think it's something that we all, especially women, struggle with. I wish I had some fantastic recommendation for you to undo all the conditioning you have undergone to get to this place. For me, it's been time and experience, the birth of two daughters & a liberal dose of feminist reading over the years. When I think back to all the time I wasted disliking myself, waiting to get to that Perfect Weight at which my whole life would fall together magically, oh, I could just kick myself. And for what? Why? Who did that thinking benefit? Not me, that's for sure.

SoontobeMrsE

Honestly, would you want to be with someone that was so shallow that they only started to like you when you were perfect?? Let's just say he does like you then and things do work out. The rest of your life is going to be spent trying to be perfect so he still loves you. That's no way to live. My fiance just told me this past weekend that he doesn't care if I ever lose another pound and that he doesn't even know why I started in the first place. The day we got engaged, I was the heaviest I've been (143lbs, 5'3"). This weekend he said he thought I was perfect that day and he would never change anything. Which is good news because I am positive that when we're 3 kids in, I'm not going to look "perfect" anymore. Do I sometimes wish I was a size 0? Of course! But I'd never let that become such a priority that it interfered with my life!

I respect you for realizing that this may be an issue for you and trying to find someway to check it before it becomes a problem for you! I hope you find whatever answers you need!

jowings

I'm a costume designer for theater, and I've seen all kinds of body types (I've been doin it for 15 years). Every type can be beautiful --what I've found to be the key is people who are comfortable with themselves, whatever shape they are. I've seen size 20+ women who are beautiful because they dwell well in their skin (even if they want to lose some weight). And I've seen size 0 people with bodies that would be considered the "fashion ideal" who constantly gripe and complain about the way they look in clothes, because they feel uncomfortable in their skin.

This comes to mind because I'm working with an amazing performer right now. She's in her 40s and has a good figure (~6-8) -- some flabby bits here and there, but overall a nice shape. But the thing that makes her look fabulous, and downright sexy is her body confidence. This role requires her to look like she's trying to hard to be young and hot (mutton dressed as lamb). Everything's supposed to be too tight, too bright, and showing her underwear most of the time. And she's coming to me to find ways we can make her look MORE "sausaged" in her clothes, how we can get her belly to roll (even though it naturally doesn't), putting on too tight bras so we can get some back rolls, smashing herself into tops that wouldn't fit a 4 year old. And the whole time she's radiating comfort with herself -- even while being in a profession that is so much about appearances. If you're saying to yourself, of course she is -- it's just the part. That's not necessarily the case -- I've worked with a ton of (professional) actors and actresses that continually push to look at good as they can, even when the role calls for them to be unattractive. (aka -- they just want to be the beautiful girl in ugly glasses, not actually look ugly).

A long way of saying-- maybe now is a good time to take a break from working on your weight, to getting comfortable where you are. What makes you feel beautiful internally? What gives you inner strength or inner peace? How can you cultivate the positive, loving voice in your head (and put the negative internal and external voices on a diet)?

Loved reading this story and I think the advice is perfect : )

smantha32

I know that... but I do have this twisted idea that if I better shape and tone my body, he'll like me more. It's a terrible view... but it's because of this that I've pushed myself this far. Sadly, I always believed that no one would ever like me because I was pudgy.

totally not true... I was a shy overweight teenager. I went through school trying not to talk to anyone. I didn't date, and didn't have too many friends.

Once I graduated and had to go get a job, I was sort of forced to talk to people and I let go of a lot of the shyness and started being myself.. and the miraculous happened.. I was still fat, but suddenly I had tons of guys interested in me.

If you're open and friendly and not so worried about what people think, people will approach you.

And if that guy doesn't like you, screw him. You'll find a good one who does.

ebaywidow

Oh sweetie....you've got to love yourself first. You can't make someone love you no matter what you try. "He" has to love you for you...whether you're 90 pounds or 200. The road that you are on is going to lead you to great heartache...trust me, I know. I thought my life was over when I "lost the love of my life." Then, I met my husband & have been married happily for 22 years. He has loved me through "thick & thin." Keep your chin up....the man of your dreams is out there...you just haven't met him yet

Maxireed77

Honestly, would you want to be with someone that was so shallow that they only started to like you when you were perfect?? Let's just say he does like you then and things do work out. The rest of your life is going to be spent trying to be perfect so he still loves you. That's no way to live. My fiance just told me this past weekend that he doesn't care if I ever lose another pound and that he doesn't even know why I started in the first place. The day we got engaged, I was the heaviest I've been (143lbs, 5'3"). This weekend he said he thought I was perfect that day and he would never change anything. Which is good news because I am positive that when we're 3 kids in, I'm not going to look "perfect" anymore. Do I sometimes wish I was a size 0? Of course! But I'd never let that become such a priority that it interfered with my life!

I respect you for realizing that this may be an issue for you and trying to find someway to check it before it becomes a problem for you! I hope you find whatever answers you need!