Article on kids seeking affirmation on their looks through y

auticus

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/02/22/am-i-pretty-videos-shame-or-sham?hpt=hp_bn13

Sound familiar? How damaging do you think this is?

Considering a mathematical bell curve, only a few individuals in a group would be considered very attractive; the largest group of people would be considered average, and an equally smaller portion of people (equal to the attractive) would be considered truly "unattractive" where unattractive is a variable defined by the culture you live in and not universally applicable.

How damaging is this?

Even for us adults, the threads on this very site can be painful if you aren't in the top 10% demographic. Can you imagine going back to 13 or 14 and putting yourself out there like that and not being in the top 10% demographic?

How much more shallow are we going to become as a culture?

silvergurl518

you are one FINE man, gollam. but, no, seriously. i hear you. i was bullied most of my childhood (elementary, middle, and parts of high school). luckily, i came out of it alive and with some strength (although my self-esteem was shattered). this is indeed damaging, to kids especially.

auticus

Shattering the self-esteem shatters you. I know this from my own life. While I had no self-esteem from similar issues dealing with being fat (in my 20s and early 30s) I was more like a shadow of myself. That's not living.

Leesseebee

Well, I did have this sort of thing happen to me when I was that age, so yes, it is incredibly damaging-and it made a weight issue that much worse-or was one of the factors anyway. I believe I am not alone in this and when I see this take place on this site, I am always shocked. Perhaps people feel they have shed that old "not hot" look now that they have lost weight and hope that they will finally be branded otherwise. It is sad and, in my opinion, so so damaging.
Thanks for posting this.

tracy337

Ughh and I thought hotornot was bad, this is horrible! EVERYONE should be told they are beautiful, even if YOU (NOT literal you don't find them pretty because there is something beautiful in every person, whether its physical or personality/spirit. I am 33 and I am still working on building up my non existent self esteem due to bullying and torment all through school. I feel for the girls who feel the need to do this, and pray they are strong enough to realize that opening themselves up like this online is leaving them vulnerable and Trolls and people who say/do hurtful things will strike

auticus

The other side of the coin are the once-fat now treating those people who are fat harshly or ignoring them or dehumanizing them the same as they used to be.

ShannonD13

I read the article this morning and looked on youtube. The comments were hurtful,inappropriate and even sexually crude. I can remember one hurtful comment that I got in elementary school and it still stings. How can a tween deal with 40,000 hits? 70,000?? And WHERE are the parents? Why are they not monitoring their children? Will they say they had no idea? No warning signs? Early intervention and prevention...is it such a foreign concept??

garnet1483

I think what you're forgetting to mention is the fact that the internet is the native habitat of trolls...even those people in the 10% are going to be sacrificed on that unholy altar of anonymity. At the same time, in this context, I feel like most of those kids know that going into it, and whether that's some preparation for them, or if they're seeking the negative attention, or if they're operating under the assumption that they're *different*...I don't know, I haven't watched those videos and heard what they have to say beyond "Am I pretty? Am I ugly?". It does seem like the natural evolution of hotornot and notebooks with scorecards that used to get passed around high schools.

In the context of this site, I think a lot more people skew to the positive and supportive, and I wish that it didn't take being bullied and hounded and coming out the other side for people to be like that.

Coyla

Frankly, I don't care about having a good self-esteem. I think we need to earn that, anyway.

However, making one's attractiveness a FACTOR in self-esteem is a problem. You don't earn your attractiveness. You're born with it.

(Now, a person who exercises and eats healthy and has a great body deserves their self-esteem. A person who was lucky enough to be born looking nice/slim does not.)

It's funny that our culture puts emphasis on that which is not earned and tears down that which is. There is hope, however. Most people are not that shallow, just a few grotesque individuals who don't deserve our time and attention and definitely don't deserve their self-esteem.