Significant other isn't supportive...thoughts?

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  • seansquared
    seansquared Posts: 328 Member
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    So I've been eating right and exercising since the start of the new year (cliche, I know), and my boyfriend has just kind of been sitting by idly watching. He doesn't have as much weight to lose as I do, but he's be unresponsive about my progress and continues to eat junk food all the time. I don't want to force this on him, but I thought we could do this together. I've tried talking to him, suggested walks or working out together, and even getting mad (whoops), and he's just not interested. I'm looking to gather a support network via MFP, but does anyone have any tips or help?

    It will probably work itself out on its own.

    Let's face it... if he's a big guy and he's suddenly dating you a super-model, he's going to go "Sh** I am going to lose her if I don't at least try!" (not that you'll ditch him, but that's what he might think internally)
  • irishasian05
    irishasian05 Posts: 26 Member
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    Wow, everyone! Thank you so much for the support and the advice. I completely agree with all that you've said. Hopefully he'll come around on his own terms, or I'll have to address this once I meet my own goals. I feel like nothing can stop me now, though! :) Feel free to add me if you'd like! Support is really helpful no matter where it's coming from!
  • mmarlow61
    mmarlow61 Posts: 112 Member
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    I have fought a weight problem basically all my life. Being the wife, and a mother of 2 boys, has not helped. The guys have always been able to eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in any amounts and not worry about it. My major problem was that they expected me to keep up with them too. I have "dieted" many many many times only to be knocked off track by a lack of support. Hubby would cook and if I only ate what would equal a portion he would INSIST that I eat more. If I didn't he would gripe and complain that I must not have liked it so he just wouldn't cook anymore. THIS time as I started my journey, I sat down and had a long talk with him about these issues. I told him up front, if you cook something I can't eat on my journey, do NOT be offended if I cook something else for me. I made him understand that I am not "one of the guys" and that foods react differently with me. So far I am 6 months into my journey, down 52 total lbs (23 since I began MFP), and hubby hasn't been upset with me yet. :D
  • ncqueenbee
    ncqueenbee Posts: 147 Member
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    As long as he's not critisizing you or trying to discourage you, try not to let it bother you too much. YOU decided to do this for YOU and you must press on. I know it much better when you have that support system, but you should not try to force the issue. Many years ago my husband tried to get me to go running with him. He would ask me so much that it would just annoy me, because I just didn't want to go. So one day I said to him, very angryly, " I'll go running when I get good and ready so leave me alone about it"!! Finally he stopped asking. About a year later I decided I wanted to get in shape and started exercising. Fast forward to present day, I will be running my first half marathon this May.

    Best of luck to you! Thanks for the advice. It's good to hear from the other side of this.
    You're are welcome. Bottom line, he will do it when he is ready. My husband and I now run, bike and workout together and we love it!
  • irishasian05
    irishasian05 Posts: 26 Member
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    I have fought a weight problem basically all my life. Being the wife, and a mother of 2 boys, has not helped. The guys have always been able to eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in any amounts and not worry about it. My major problem was that they expected me to keep up with them too. I have "dieted" many many many times only to be knocked off track by a lack of support. Hubby would cook and if I only ate what would equal a portion he would INSIST that I eat more. If I didn't he would gripe and complain that I must not have liked it so he just wouldn't cook anymore. THIS time as I started my journey, I sat down and had a long talk with him about these issues. I told him up front, if you cook something I can't eat on my journey, do NOT be offended if I cook something else for me. I made him understand that I am not "one of the guys" and that foods react differently with me. So far I am 6 months into my journey, down 52 total lbs (23 since I began MFP), and hubby hasn't been upset with me yet. :D

    WOW! Congratulations to you! Thanks for the advice.

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