For the lifelong overweight - Do you worry about your kids?

PositivelyFlawed

I'm 31 and have been varying states of overweight for as long as I can remember, at least since kindergarten. I take full responsibility for my teen-adult weight, but there is some responsibility with my parents for my weight as a small child. My mom was never overweight until she had babies and started putting on the weight.

My husband is also overweight and has always been bigger and we now have a 2.5 year old little girl who is very active and at a healthy weight, but I can't help stressing about her weight. I try to do this inwardly so as not to create a complex by my anxiety alone.

For example: This morning for breakfast she wanted an egg, she loves her eggs. SO i made her one sunny side up with a piece of whole wheat toast. She ate it and asked for more toast and egg, so i made it for her and she ate about half of the 2nd serving. In my head I couldn't help thinking, should I have said no? She has been between 27.6-30.2 lbs for several months, it goes up and down, but she is still well in the 25th percentil for weight and 50th percentile for height.

Even when we ate unhealthy, she always ate seperate healthier meals and her meals have gotten even better now that we eat really healthy. She asks me why when I say I am going to the gym and I tell her Mommy is going to get health and to do that we need to exercise every day.

So i guess amidst all of this mumbo jumbo I've written so far I have just a couple questions for you Moms and DAds out there.

Do you/Did you worry your kids would suffer from the same weight issues as you did, this is more directed at people with lifelong issues with weight, not that others are not significant, but life is a little different for someone who is lifelong overweight as opposed to someone who gained a few lbs in adulthood.

For those of you with older kids, have your kids had to struggle with weight? How did you approach this, especially with females, without causing body image/self esteem issues?

dls06

The good news is, You have the power to make healthy choices for your family. You can stop the cycle and raise healthy happy children. Educate yourself on healthy eating and Portion Control. Keep the junk food out of the house, They can only eat what you put in front of them.
http://www.healthy-recipes-for-kids.com/

1953Judith

Both my husband and I were overweight/obese during the period we raised our two children. Both children are in their late 20s a. Each went through a very brief period of being overweight in the early teens, but have been in the normal weight range otherwise (daughter has two young children). Besides serving them healthy meals at home and in the early years making sure that their day care providers emphasized healthy foods and snacks, I stayed in behind the scenes contact with the pediatrician. As they were old enough, he discussed their health and fitness needs with them. I provided the tools at home for them (except the role model piece). I wish I had listened to my doctor as well as they had listened to theirs. Well, regrets aside, I'm doing it now and they are proud of me. You can break the cycle of obesity without it being a huge worry for anyone.

KJVBear33

Honestly, I am not married and don't have kids.........BUT my take on it is that you ROCK!! Don't ever forget that.......you are trying your hardest to do right by yourself, your husband, and your kids. I think that dls06 is right........you do need to educate yourself on the matter. In doing so, you have a guideline to follow.........if its a must, talk to their doctor about it even. I think that if they are hungry still, they should eat........and that is my own personal opinion on the matter.........but just make sure its a healthy meal or snack.

melonsss

hi, yes I worry night and day. my daughter weight 7lbs 11oz at birth. I breast fed,made only organic food for her,lots of fruit, veg . avoided fizzy drinks, biscuits and sweeties were giving in moderation. However since a toddler her bottom and legs have been big and over the years bigger. she is11 years old and cycles, walks and has tennis coaching throughout school holidays. I have spoken to her about eating healthy ( as it is difficult to control as they get older), but she becomes angry with me. there are healthy eating initiatives at school and I spoke to the nurse because i was concerned that my daughter's BMI is 28!!!!!!. I was advised to ignore this because of her age and hormonal changes at this age. The nurse also told me that because my daughter is popular, confident and doing well at school, a formal discussion maybe detrimental. She is going to high school in August and yes I would like her to loose weight. I do believe that sometimes genes are a factor. I will however not give in and encourage her to remain active..

MrsTattie

Greats topic! Well done for bringing it up. Firstly well done on starting your weight loss and secondly good on you for realising that problems start at a young age. I have 3 young kids and my take on it, is if they are hungry they should be fed. This means at meal times - my son asks for 3rd portions sometimes. Not more sweeties or junk. Their appetites change on a daily basis, (unlike adults) and so you need to cater for that. They are all very active normal kids. Your daughter will be too young to know that you ate different things than her and so you can still be the role model for her. But remember chips/fries are fine just not every night! Good luck.

Ree_Chatelain

Yes, I do.
I have both ends of the scale, My daughter who is 12 is a few inches taller then me and almost my weight. Now she has recently started "developing" more and losing some of the little kid chunky look. My son is 4 and he looks more like a stick figure and is in the 5th precential for weight for his age. For him i'm constantly trying to give him higher calorie foods to bulk him up a little (whole milk, protien bars, pedisure) For my daughter, I'm trying to instill healthier views of food. For meals I offer more lean meats and veggies rather then carbs/starches. We don't have sugary treats in the house and no soft drinks (except around the holidays). I don't deprive them of those goodies however try to teach moderation and the importance of portion control.

MelissaL582

My husband and I have struggled with weight our whole lives. When we first met, he was in the Army and at a healthy weight, I was at my lowest 150lbs in my young adult life. I am still considered obese do to my height and my husband is I think considered overweight (could be wrong, he might be obese now). Since I've started my journey on MFP..the thought of my kids being overweight is always on my mind. My oldest son is old enough to play sports and I've seen kids his age struggling with weight issues. They weren't able to run as fast or as long as the other kids. I felt bad because kids at their age should be active and not be overweight. My boys have noticed how dedicated I am to losing weight (exercising almost every day) and seeing me online counting calories. I always tell them that I don't ever want to see them as heavy as mommy and daddy. I've changed our eating habits, more fresh fruits and veggies for each meal, less soda and more water/milk and sticking to their appropriate serving (which is a little hard at the moment since they've hit a growth spurt). My husband's mom was obese weighing 280 and standing at 5'3. He remembers how embarrassed he was of her and how she couldn't do things with them because of her weight. She now weighs 160 something (losing100lbs on her own and then getting gastric bypass) but from the many years of not taking control of her health, she still doesn't have the strength to get down on the floor to play with her grandkids or go for long walks. She sits on the couch most of the time. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my kids or miss out on activities because I'd rather stuff my face.

bcampbell54

My kids are part of the reason we are doing this.
Sure they still want sweets and candy, they're kids.
But I think the examples we set as parents will outlast the moment, and provide them with examples of good choices in the future.

mandii066

Growing up I was left to fend for myself with my older sister. We lived off of left over take out, cereal, ramen noodles etc. As an adult I eat food that is looks as it was found... I.E. fruit, veggies, meat, dairy etc. I want to eat hot pockets, ramen etc but that literally does nothing for my body. It has helped me to realize food is fuel for my body, my only body. I need to feed myself and eat to live..not wake up, constantly think about and go to bed obsessing with the idea of food. It's hard to change the relationship you've had with food your whole life. Especially if you grew up in a broken home, as I did. It becomes your best friend!!

-Manda

ChelleDJM

I have been overweight my entire life (am the same size now and when I graduated HS). My husband is also large. When we got married over 10 years ago, we joined the Y and weight watchers and I lost 70 pounds and hubby lost 90 in 6 months. Then we found it again. My kids are 6 (boy) and 2(girl). My son is the tallest and biggest kid in his class and it is a battle for him to eat healthy, but he does eat pretty healthy foods, it's portion control that we battle about. Now that I am going to the gym during the week and talking to him about why I am not eating a bun with my burger and why I have just egg whites, he is interested a little in that. I try to talk to him from a "science" standpoint because he is interested in all that :-) He was almost 10 pounds at birth and 22 pounds at 6 months...so he has always been huge! I do worry about him being big though and I think he will always be stocky, but we will continue to talk to him about nutrition. My daughter is 2 and she is adopted. Her birthmom is tiny and struggles with being too thin. Her birthdad is a normal weight. She is only 23 pounds now. I am 6' tall and obese. So she is a motivation for me to encourage healthy habits because she will be shorter than the rest of us and her frame is little. I certainly don't want to encourage her to be large and I don't want to be the BIG (and old!) mom shopping with her as a teen and young adult. I look forward to us shopping together in the same stores and having fun together. I want to encourage fun activities like horseback riding, skiing, and amusement parks and I need to get smaller to do those things with my kids. I think it's awesome that you are starting when your daughter is so young. My kids get a fruit or veggie at every meal. So maybe with her egg and toast you can give her a special fruit. My 2 year-old likes new things, so one day she will get strawberries and the next kiwi or pineapple. Mix it up a bit. I also make silly things out of food - check Pinterest for ideas - strawberry mice, banana and apple snowmen, etc...

It sounds like we have a lot in common, so add me as a friend if you like! I am pretty new to mfp and need all the inspiration I can get :-)

gp79

I do worry about my 3 year old daughter sometimes; for two reasons. I was always a big and overweight kid and she is the 95th percentile for both height / weight. Although we don't keep readily available garbage in the house, I still think of the overall calories. My wife and I both count calories and have adapted many recipes to meet our family's needs. There isn't a meal that goes by where both kids are not eating vegetables and lean meats and for desserts we do fresh fruit or one of my "special" treats (Protein Fluff / Protein Cheesecake / Protein brownies / Plain greek yogurt w/ fruit etc...). She eats canned tuna, fish, shrimp, protein pancakes, cottage cheese, plain greek yogurt, organic milk and water. She has even taken my liquid fish oil once or twice (jury is still out on that one) We don't keep juice, soda, sugary cereals (except reeces puffs which are pretty close to cheerios) in the house, and if offered most of these things, won't eat them anyway. I tried giving her some Reece's Puffs and she refused, telling me they were not for breakfast, lol.

Nobody is perfect. My wife and I bake and cook regularly. Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies are made from time to time so there are real treats every so often

Given the "climate" in our home, I know she's doing better in the nutrition department than alot of kids from other families.

PositivelyFlawed

So much great advice, reassurances and stories so far. Thank you so much, it is nice to know I am not alone. Luckily my daughter LOVES fruit and most simple veggies (lettuce, cucumbers, tomato, corn) and off and on she likes broccoli and beans to. The rest is a bit of a struggle.

Despite being overweight I have a surprisingly huge knowledgebase on health and fitness, that came from lifelong attempts to lose weight. I've so enjoyed actually putting that info into practice for me and my hubby.

I struggle to get my daughter to eat our meals. We eat a lot of tofu, stir frys and vegetarian meals, but I keep having her try them as I know a child can taste something 20 or more times before liking it.

I think I will talk to the doctor and see if we can come up with some way to gauge what is appropriate. if she eats a good breakfast, like today, she'll only graze through lunch until dinner. I have managed to swap out the snacks she enjoys - part skim cheese, whole wheat goldfish crackers, whole wheat crackers etc. I've also swapped some of her fave foods - we switched to manwich sloppy joes which has a full serving of veggies and whole wheat KD and I try to give her a side of celery, tomatoes or cucumbers with her meals.

mmoyer1978

I worry every day. My oldest is 5 and pretty solid. She's tall for her age. Her doctor insists that she's a healthy weight. She's 46 inches tall and weighs about 56lbs. Her little sister, at age 3 is tiny. She's only about 34 inches and weighs about 26lbs. It's hard to gauge the size of my oldest when my youngest is so tiny. I have been overweight since puberty and life in high school was pretty miserable at times. I don't want that for them. I want them to be health, happy and active. But I think we're doing a great job with them. They don't like french fries and prefer apples if we're getting a fast food treat (which we rarely do). They don't like soda and we don't give them any. They love water over juice. My husband and I decided to live healthier at the right time. We can make sure at this age that they live healthier than we did and they enjoy the healthy foods. But I still worry...

PositivelyFlawed

Bumping to hear more experiences and advice

Buddhasmiracle

Bless you and your husband for taking such good care of your beautiful daughter. I was an obese child, teen and young adult at a time when obesity among children and teens was rare compared to today. I was bullied and tormented in school and my mother was ashamed of me. My father told me as a teen I was so fat no man would have me so I'd better do well in school, go to college, and have a career to support myself. (Both my parents were slender and very good looking).

You and your hubby are setting a wonderful loving example for your daughter. You are setting an example by taking care of your health and fitness. You profile pic is beautiful.