Where to go from here? :(

hbunting86

Hi all

Basically I'm useless at this weight loss and fitness thing. I start off good, and then fall into really bad patterns of eating. I know what to eat, and I'm a pretty decent cook - but applying those rules to myself just really doesn't seem to work. I very often don't hit 1200 calories and am often quite a bit below. I know about starvation mode etc - I think my body just DOESN'T lose weight any more as a result of my erratic eating habits.

Similar scenario with the gym - I start out good and then lose all motivation and end up paying monthly membership fees for nothing. Ridiculous.

So basically I'm at a loss... do I just forget this and give up or do I need another approach. I live on my own and am 12000 miles from home, so I don't have the support of family and friends which makes life difficult.

Any advice or motivation or SOMETHING would be great to hear, as I'm at the point of giving up at the moment.

Thanks
Heather

BIGJIMMYU

Dig deep girl! Love yourself first! You are worth your best effort! Love yourself first and others notice.

hbunting86

Bump

Kendrawinn

I do the same thing...Just keep going. You can friend me, we can keep each other accountable....

hapoo100

Visualize your goal. I know this sounds lame but it worked for me. I put a 100 days to work out on a piece of paper and every time i go, i cross a day off. Being able to see it makes me feel better. I have done 26 workouts this year and lost 15 lbs.

tuffytuffy1

If you can just get in a habit, you can make it stick. I went years without exercising, and now I exercise 6 days a week. And trust me, I have given up many, many times. If you can stick with it and see some results, that will motivate you to keep sticking to it. Do some heavy weight lifting, you will see results faster than if you just overload on cardio. Don't give up, girl! You can do it.

IvoryParchment

If you try to change everything at once, then get frustrated and fall back into your old patterns, you have made zero progress. If you make a tiny change and maintain it, you reap the benefits for all the years you might otherwise have been trying and failing over and over again. So don't be overambitious. Every change for the good is worth making if you can sustain it, no matter how tiny.

I would start by just logging what you do when you are eating your regular food and doing your regular activity. Don't try to change anything. Just logging is enough of a change to learn. Get a smart phone so there's never an excuse to delay or forget to log. Get a food scale for home and work, and cup measures teaspoons, so all measurements are as precise as a science experiment.

After about a month, analyze the results like an anthropologist studying a new culture. Step back from deciding if your habits or good or bad; they just are what they are. How many calories are you really eating when you eat whatever you want? How much exercise do you get when you do only what you feel like doing? What foods are you eating? Which foods are you eating because you really love them? Which ones are you eating because someone else cooked them? What are you eating in portions of someone else's choosing? What are you eating because you are in a hurry? What are you eating to reward yourself? What about when you feel you deserve something to make you feel better? What do you cook for yourself? Where do you shop, and when? What time do you have available for shopping, cooking, eating, and cleaning up? Who else eats with you and what are their needs/demands? How much change is really under your control? Is food just food, or is it something else at times? How much of a meal do you really taste, and how much is just continuing to eat? How long do you sit at the table having conversation at meals, and what is available to eat while you sit there?

Now you can make rational decisions about what you can change, and what you're willing to change. If you love your sugary breakfast cereal and will feel deprived if you switch to something else, don't switch. But now that you know how much you eat every morning, measure a tablespoon less. If you drink a 20 oz soda every afternoon, try drinking a 12 oz one. If you usually eat 1 1/2 cups of rice a dinner, try eating 1 1/4 cups. Just make one little change, and try to make it so small you can't notice without measuring. Then when you're comfortable, try something else.

The idea is that small increments won't feel like a change from your normal habits, so there will be no need to fall back into them. You don't need to lose weight fast, as long as you maintain whatever gains you achieve. Most people never do that.

sllm1

Maybe you're not eating enough when you're watching your cals. Don't try to eat 1200 if that's not enough. Then you probably get frustrated, go off the deep end, and overeat. What's your "1 pound per week" number? Maybe change to 1/2 pound per week?

buckystars

If you try to change everything at once, then get frustrated and fall back into your old patterns, you have made zero progress. If you make a tiny change and maintain it, you reap the benefits for all the years you might otherwise have been trying and failing over and over again. So don't be overambitious. Every change for the good is worth making if you can sustain it, no matter how tiny.

I would start by just logging what you do when you are eating your regular food and doing your regular activity. Don't try to change anything. Just logging is enough of a change to learn. Get a smart phone so there's never an excuse to delay or forget to log. Get a food scale for home and work, and cup measures teaspoons, so all measurements are as precise as a science experiment.

After about a month, analyze the results like an anthropologist studying a new culture. Step back from deciding if your habits or good or bad; they just are what they are. How many calories are you really eating when you eat whatever you want? How much exercise do you get when you do only what you feel like doing? What foods are you eating? Which foods are you eating because you really love them? Which ones are you eating because someone else cooked them? What are you eating in portions of someone else's choosing? What are you eating because you are in a hurry? What are you eating to reward yourself? What about when you feel you deserve something to make you feel better? What do you cook for yourself? Where do you shop, and when? What time do you have available for shopping, cooking, eating, and cleaning up? Who else eats with you and what are their needs/demands? How much change is really under your control? Is food just food, or is it something else at times? How much of a meal do you really taste, and how much is just continuing to eat? How long do you sit at the table having conversation at meals, and what is available to eat while you sit there?

Now you can make rational decisions about what you can change, and what you're willing to change. If you love your sugary breakfast cereal and will feel deprived if you switch to something else, don't switch. But now that you know how much you eat every morning, measure a tablespoon less. If you drink a 20 oz soda every afternoon, try drinking a 12 oz one. If you usually eat 1 1/2 cups of rice a dinner, try eating 1 1/4 cups. Just make one little change, and try to make it so small you can't notice without measuring. Then when you're comfortable, try something else.

The idea is that small increments won't feel like a change from your normal habits, so there will be no need to fall back into them. You don't need to lose weight fast, as long as you maintain whatever gains you achieve. Most people never do that.

This. Just, all of this. Don't get discouraged. Make small changes and don't try to do too much.

I struggled with weight and not having the motivation to do anything about it for years. There just has to be that tipping point that makes you stick with it. You can do this. Don't stop, keep going. It's going to happens slowly but it will happen. You could give up now and be unhappy in a few weeks or you could keep going and be thrilled at your progress in a few weeks.

Don't give up!

xgg2rs

I've lost over 100 pounds and when I started, I walked alot. I eventually changed that into running but I enjoyed walking and listening to music. Maybe if you got a music player (Ipod or w/e) and tried walking while listening to music? I've known people in my family that have lost alot of weight only walking and dieting. Good luck and don't give up.

HeidiRene

I was super happy with my weight and then I got a little down and put on 10-15 lbs. So I decided to give up. Now, in 6 months I have packed 50 lbs onto that once cute body. I really regret giving up. Friend me and we can inspire each other.

1_Slick_Chick

Approach the exercise and better eating habits as a lifestyle change and not a diet. The scale will follow...
but, first, know that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

This time around I am losing weight (changing my lifestyle) for myself because I didn't like who I had become...

Good Luck and feel free to add me :flowerforyou:

usernamejoe

Visualize your goal. I know this sounds lame but it worked for me. I put a 100 days to work out on a piece of paper and every time i go, i cross a day off. Being able to see it makes me feel better. I have done 26 workouts this year and lost 15 lbs.

Probably the best response to this post. Sometimes we need something compelling to drive us, but we need support to stick through it. Most importantly you need a plan as mentioned from this user. And you have to stick to the plan, even on the days when you don't want to or just don't feel like it. I wish you the best of luck and I'll friend you on here and provide as much as support virtually as possible.

MogwaisGrandma

Not going to give any diet advice as such as the previous posters have said some good stuff.

You live in an amazing place with some of the best scenery in the world. Getting out and about to see it will burn off so many calories. Pre plan and take a picnic with you and while sitting there take pictures to send back to your family.

Let people into your new life and connect to them again. Also I would say get inspiration from your friends lists. I love reading the updates of what mine have done and how they have eaten. Given me some great ideas.

Good luck.

yag1630

Don't let a day/week/month of failure derail what you have started.

All you have to do is to plan and set goals which you can reached.
Go to the next level once you have reached the first goal.

Planning, Discipline and self-control go hand in hand to be successful in loosing weight.

Go Girl I believe you can do it.

hbunting86

Thanks for the replies

I'm just wondering if its possible to have disordered eating, rather than an eating disorder per se. My view of food is so skewed at the moment.

jody664

Visualize your goal. I know this sounds lame but it worked for me. I put a 100 days to work out on a piece of paper and every time i go, i cross a day off. Being able to see it makes me feel better. I have done 26 workouts this year and lost 15 lbs.

That is a fantastic idea! I think I may just have to steal that one......:happy:

Helloitsdan

What are you eating daily calorie wise?

Because its easy once you figure out the right amount of food to eat daily.
Then follow a 90/10 rule!
90% whole foods and 10% junk!

hapoo100

Visualize your goal. I know this sounds lame but it worked for me. I put a 100 days to work out on a piece of paper and every time i go, i cross a day off. Being able to see it makes me feel better. I have done 26 workouts this year and lost 15 lbs.

That is a fantastic idea! I think I may just have to steal that one......:happy:

no need to steal, its yours for free! :bigsmile:

jody664

A couple of things that seem to be working for me......

1. I have stopped focusing on weight loss. While I would love to see the number on the scale go down, my goal is really physical fitness. I want to be able to play a game of kickball with my nieces and nephews. I want to be able to walk all over Disney World for 12 hours and still feel energized. I want to be able to take the stairs instead of the elevator and not be gasping for air at the top. These are more important to me than some arbitrary number on the scale. So I'm focusing on working out and setting my goals around that. (Don't get me wrong....I'm still slowly losing weight, but watching that number decrease is not my motivation anymore.)

2. I have always hated exercise. Never ever enjoyed it (probably due to gym class psychological trauma in 7th grade...LOL). But to accomplish my fitness goals, I knew I was going to have to find a way to enjoy it. So I started telling myself that I love it. Every time I would think about going to the gym, I'd remind myself that I really do love it. It was a "fake it until you make it" kind of thing, but it really worked! I really do love to exercise now. As a matter of fact, Saturdays are my rest day, and I have to say I really feel like I'm missing something by not working out that day.

My advice.........find some real attainable goals and start working toward them. Even set up a few mini goals with rewards (new workout clothes make GREAT rewards!) Also, find a way to enjoy the process. If you want to get healthy, it's going to take awhile. And if it's going to take you awhile, you need to find some way to enjoy it.

Don't give up!