Rant Against Ignorant Advice

Sageyoku

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this...just gotta get it off my chest.

First of all, where do people get off giving fitness, health, and food advice to other people based on
a - what they've heard Word Of Mouth from others
b - Google
c - their own experiences with their own body
...all of which are bound to be completely irrelevant to the person they're giving advice to?

For example, how does it make sense for my 200lb male friend--with hypothyroidism I might add--to tell ME, a 5' 5" 130lb female, what I should be eating and when??? (yep, the cause of the rant, right here folks)

That convo went something like this:

Me: "I've been eating more protein.
I think part of the reason I was so sick last summer was because I wasn't eating enough."

Him: "You need to eat most of your protein in the morning,
and eat carbs the rest of the day to keep your energy going."

Me: "What? Why?"

Him: "That's what I do. I have a protein shake every morning before my two mile run.
Here, I can give you the recipe."
(reads off recipe while I type it into my handy-dandy mfp app)

Me: "Your protein shake is 600 calories, with 60% from carbs and 40% from protein."

Him: *HUFF* Well, take the fruit out. And add in spinach, I forgot the spinach."

Me: "That aside, all of the stuff in your shake could just be eaten throughout the day, as part of meals.
Why can't I just have the yogurt and fruit for breakfast, the egg and spinach for lunch,
and some chicken and veggies for dinner? What's the benefit of eating all the protein at once in the morning?"

Him: "That way, your body can process it all at one time."

Me: ".......gotcha." (not even going to get into how the body flushes nutrients it can't store)

FYI the KICKER for all this is that the recipe for the shake was given to
my 200lb friend with hypothyroidism by a mutual friend of ours,
a TOTALLY ripped ex-Marine who works out like MAD every few hours (no joke)
and probably has to eat TONS of protein to compensate.

Do you understand why I'm irritated, mfp?
I'm just trying to make healthier life choices and get my diet balanced.
WHY on EARTH is a 200lb overweight male giving me diet tips that HE uses to LOSE weight,
given to him by a 180lb lean musclebuilder trying to GAIN weight?! Unbelievable!!

I'm sure LOTS of people can share a similar experience.
People LISTEN to their friends, and CARE about what their friends say.
So even if your friend is a bodybuilder and you're just Average Joe,
you probably at least consider your buddy's advice.

After a post like this, I'm not going to sit here and tell ANYONE what to do, or even make suggestions.
So...In My Uneducated Opinion, if you're not a health professional,
It's probably Not A Good Idea to go around telling people what they MUST and MUST NOT do health-wise.
It will eventually make you look like a fool, esp. when you're a 200lb man
telling a member of the opposite sex who's 2/3 your size to eat like you.

Rant over.

Elizabeth_C34

I understand the frustration.

I have a friend of a friend who is 350lbs and lost a limb to type 2 diabetes last year caused from his morbid obesity who, upon hearing about my 36 lb weightloss (28 on MFP) wrote me a 1000 word tirade in my email about how I was "doing it wrong" and how eating carbs was destroying my metabolism... blah blah blah... Yeah...

Some people just can't keep their mouths shut.

Just ignore it and move on...

McKayMachina

Well, it's fair to be like, "I heard ___" or "for me, ___ works" or "from what I've read and understand, ___ is a good approach" etc.

I think it's important to hear all advice. You just have to decide how informed it is by doing a little homework.

Scott613

:flowerforyou:

xraychick77

Well, it's fair to be like, "I heard ___" or "for me, ___ works" or "from what I've read and understand, ___ is a good approach" etc.

I think it's important to hear all advice. You just have to decide how informed it is by doing a little homework.

i agree

garlic7girl

Have you ever considered the coach who is overweight or obese and he works his players butts off in practice. But at the end of the day it is just advice we don't have to take it we can do our own research to see what is good for us or not.

treetop57

Here's what you need to do in that situation, Megan . . . .

trixirn

I'm sure he was only trying to be helpful, but I can see how it would be annoying.

lee3978

OHhh one of the best mfp post I've read in a long time. Oh people do this to me allll the time. I think because I look fat and still have progress they assume numerous things. They assume I haven't lost any weight and been successful. K I've been over 200lbs before and not anymore so They tell me I should work out, introduce myself to weights and try a 5k. Umm ok sure I've done a half. And yeah I bench. Most of the time it's the wisest phrase of them all, "You should just eat less and move more. That's all. It's really that simple. Don't make it complicated." And men are the worst for giving advice. Oh just cut back, you can still drink beer. Hit the gym a few times a week and you'll lose weight. Look I lost 25lbs and built up muscle in like a month.

I love all these new found revolutions and advice folks love to give me.

Sageyoku

Here's what you need to do in that situation, Megan . . . .

Haw haw!!
:laugh:

McPenguin

OHhh one of the best mfp post I've read in a long time. Oh people do this to me allll the time. I think because I look fat and still have progress they assume numerous things. They assume I haven't lost any weight and been successful. K I've been over 200lbs before and not anymore so They tell me I should work out, introduce myself to weights and try a 5k. Umm ok sure I've done a half. And yeah I bench. Most of the time it's the wisest phrase of them all, "You should just eat less and move more. That's all. It's really that simple. Don't make it complicated." And men are the worst for giving advice. Oh just cut back, you can still drink beer. Hit the gym a few times a week and you'll lose weight. Look I lost 25lbs and built up muscle in like a month.

I love all these new found revolutions and advice folks love to give me.

Wait, WHAT?!? Who said you look fat? They assume you haven't lost weight? They're insane, you look great.

pasofinofan

To Lee3978 - YOU GO GIRL!!!! You look awesome and it sounds like you have done a lot of work to change your lifestyle. You are light years ahead of the clowns that want a quick fix! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK...you are an inspiration to those of us just starting on this journey!

elsinora

Totally, totally understand. Sometimes I find some of responses on here get rather aggressive sometimes as well but your post summed it up. My biggest pet peeve / rant is IRL situation when really thin or skinny people tell you you shouldn't lose weight or exercise etc because uou're small enough already (women mostly) - when they are like 70lbs lighter than you. That royally p****** me off

LorinaLynn

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this...just gotta get it off my chest.

First of all, where do people get off giving fitness, health, and food advice to other people based on
a - what they've heard Word Of Mouth from others
b - Google
c - their own experiences with their own body
...all of which are bound to be completely irrelevant to the person they're giving advice to?

My first thought was, "Damn... this forum would be really dull without all that." :laugh:

I get what you're saying. I've just learned who I shouldn't talk to about any of this.

HauteP1nk

....just because someone gives us advice doesn't mean we need to follow it.
The whole thing is about getting different opinons and finding what works best for YOU.

Plus, with men they always try to 'fix' things when giving advice when sometimes us women just want to complain...lol I am sure he was just trying to help in his own way.

elsinora

OHhh one of the best mfp post I've read in a long time. Oh people do this to me allll the time. I think because I look fat and still have progress they assume numerous things. They assume I haven't lost any weight and been successful. K I've been over 200lbs before and not anymore so They tell me I should work out, introduce myself to weights and try a 5k. Umm ok sure I've done a half. And yeah I bench. Most of the time it's the wisest phrase of them all, "You should just eat less and move more. That's all. It's really that simple. Don't make it complicated." And men are the worst for giving advice. Oh just cut back, you can still drink beer. Hit the gym a few times a week and you'll lose weight. Look I lost 25lbs and built up muscle in like a month.

I love all these new found revolutions and advice folks love to give me.

Second this! You look awesome!
Wait, WHAT?!? Who said you look fat? They assume you haven't lost weight? They're insane, you look great.

lexiarein

I love this site, but the post is what you're talking about

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/02/14/conventional-wisdom/#more-11807

Sublog

Still think this site needs either a rep system or the ability to down-rank bad/stupid/wrong advice into oblivion. There are too few who know what's going on and too many that offer bad advice. It's hard to cut through the bad advice and get the good advice.

Unfortunately, there are so many sources of bad info out on the internet and real life and people are gullible.

Unknown

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kathleennf

You are absolutely right!!!!!!!!! Having said that though- try to keep in mind that people generally mean well and are trying to be helpful. And take it like that.

I am a physician- and EVERY TIME I get sick you would not believe (or you probably would believe) how many of my non-medical friends come and give me MEDICAL advice - what they take, what they do, what I should eat or drink, etc etc. It can be annoying, or it can be funny, or it can be sweet- and how I take it mostly depends on me. What I have learned to do, (after too often biting my tongue to keep from saying "OK AND YOU GRADUATED FROM WHICH MEDICAL SCHOOL AGAIN???) is smile and thank them and just ignore it. And be grateful that I have friends who care. Seriously.

RicSnyder

Note to self...never give Megan advice.

tigersword

There's nothing wrong with offering advice. The problem, IMO, is a person who, instead of offering advice, insists that their way is the only correct way.

madamepsychosis

I think giving someone advice is fine, but it really pisses me off when people act like their advice is not advice but the gospel truth and tell people they're DOING IT WRONG when they're eating healthily and losing weight.

danapellerin

My reply would be "Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it". And then If I felt it didn't apply to me, I'd ignore it. Don't let other people cause you undue stress.

delilah47

OP you have a point, but if someone asks for advice in a post, I see nothing wrong with someone giving their experience if they have had the same problem. There are always multiple "experiences" for the OP to look at and consider, then take whatever action they will take. If I choose to relate my experience to someone, I usually preface it with "for me.." or ":in my experience.." Also, people need to use some common sense when listening to "experts" or to anyone else offering advice.

I too have a problem with so called experts stating what appears to be facts when they have not been proven or like you said pulled from google or from somewhere "where the sun don't shine". I have seen some advice on posts that makes me cringe and to hope the OP doesn't get hurt by it.

junyr

It's not the person trying to help that's the fool, it's the person blindly following that advice without researching it themselves.

This applies not only to fitness, but also to the other taboos such as politics and religion.

Amzly

It sounds to me like your friend is trying to validate his own way of doing by gaining approval from other people. In assuming your ignorance, he is making himself feel better about what he feels is a good diet..... It will be kind of awkward when what you're doing actually works and he ends us eating 3 meals through one drink. :ohwell:

PositivelyFlawed

I think the only advice we CAN or SHOULD give is from our own experiences, but we don't have to ram it down someones throat. I always respond to posts when I have something to add. It's merely my opinion on what works for me. If you take a little of everyone elses advice, do a little of your own research and listen to your body, i think you come out on top, but that's just what works for ME!

chevy88grl

If someone asks me "So, how did you lose the weight?" or "How have you kept the weight off for 18 months?" - I have no problem telling them what worked for ME. I won't tell them it'll work for them or that it is the ONLY way to lose weight and keep it off. I make sure they know that just because something worked for me, doesn't mean it'll work for them. On the other hand, if it weren't for other people, Google, articles, etc I might have given up when I was stuck for months at 167lbs. Had no one else been willing to say "This is what worked for me..." I wouldn't have figured out that I wasn't eating enough. Or how to check my BMR or TDEE.

So, not all advice is "bad". Not everyone who offers up what has worked for them thinks they know it all about everyone - they simply know what works for them. I have no issue telling someone to figure out their OWN body - they'll be happy they did.


I see a lot of posts here with people offering up what has worked for them. I'll read them because you never know when you might stumble onto something that works even better for you!

Debbe2

Completely understand where you're coming from and agree. A lot of us have spent a lot of time listening and doing things that worked for someone else. I think I finally understand that what works for you may not work for me or for friend x for that matter. This is your journey, your body, your life and your goals. Stay smart, strong, open minded and make your decisions accordingly towards health and wellness as the goal.

TavistockToad

i can actually beat that - a 'friend' (guy i used to go to school with) of mine on facebook put a status saying he was trying to lose 31lbs in 29days for a stag do, and had lost 7lbs in the first day....

i put a comment along the lines of 'sorry to tell you that you cant lose that amount of weight healthily and keep it off' and got loads of abuse!

a bit further down the post, after someone else told him it was impossible to lose 7lbs is a day, he revealed his 'secret' - he is doing atkins, and in one day all he ate was 2 bits of meat and a slice of cheese, worked all day and then played football for an hour, hence the 7lbs 'loss'...

i dispair!!!