Help! Advice Needed on What to Say to This Guy Please!

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  • LatinaGordita
    LatinaGordita Posts: 377 Member
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    ^^^
    This
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    I will say this...I was on a dating site, met my boyfriend, we fell in love, and he fell in love with me, for me, not for my weight, when I started this journey in January, he said pretty much that exact thing...He is VERY supportive of me losing weight, when he cooks, makes lowfat meals and keeps all packaging so I can count my calories, but he told me, "When I met you I thought you were beautiful just the way you are, and fell in love with you, but if you want to do this I will support you in any way I can".....It's not about your weight, if they guy really is interested in you, for YOU, and you are interested in him, take a chance...you don't know what you may be missing.....I am so glad I did!
  • SteveHunt113
    SteveHunt113 Posts: 648 Member
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    Seriously, we men are are not complicated like that. I'm thinking it took him a lot of nerve to send the email, and he was waiting expectantly for a reply. When the reply came, there was no date/time and he felt crushed. To "protect" himself, he sent a follow up that gave you an easy out.

    Reminds me of the joke about the couple that went on a date. From the woman's perspective, it was a disaster. From the man's perspective, it was perfect. The moral of the joke was that the woman read way more into things than the man did.
  • Megabot
    Megabot Posts: 173 Member
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    I also disagree with the people saying it's a red flag. He doesn't sound needy at all. He sounds like a dude that's interested in you.
    How do I know this? Well, I'm 31, and I've dated a bunch of dudes. They just ask, when they like you. If he seems "elusive" or "hard to read" then he's NOT that into you.

    He's actually interested, tell him you like him too!!!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    He seems charming... What's the worst that could happen? You go on one date with the guy and find that one or neither of you is interested in more.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    It's not everyday that a guy who has mutual feelings for you openly admits it. That took a lot of nerve and let's be honest, no one likes to wait around for someone (to feel ready). Be impulsive, just say yes :) If he's a good guy, he won't judge you on your body and if he likes you for who you are, your body shouldn't matter as much as society makes it out to be. If you're still feeling insecure just tell him you want to take it slow. You can have a cute, innocent relationship and not jump straight into anything serious or intimate. That will give you some time. But you've really decided to hold off, tell him you need some time for yourself. As much as it sucks to wait, if he cares enough he will be there when your confidence is restored :) I personally think you should allow yourself to date. Best of luck, xoxo
  • rae_84
    rae_84 Posts: 40 Member
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    I don't think you should pass up the opportunity to go on a date with someone who you are interested in. If you are really concerned, maybe set the date up for a week. Work out hard this week to get some confidence and then rock your date!
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
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    I can understand your feelings - I am just starting to get interest from guys again - and not quite sure how to handle it either....BUT I really think you might lose out if you stall meeting this guy too long.....

    Really in the end of the day it is about more than your weight, and I think you need to be honest with him that you are making some changes to your life, and that you are on a health and fitness journey - but not quite there yet.... in any case that is what I do - I am honest that I have lost a lot of weight - but still have a bit to go tho where I am happy....

    Part of why I say that is that it is very important to me that any guy I meet need to be interested in a healthy active life as well - so it is one of the things I want to know about before I even meet the person in real life...

    Start being honest with the guy about who you are - and the journey you are on, and you might be pleasantly surprised how he is going to react...

    Good luck
  • bcc112986
    bcc112986 Posts: 362 Member
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    He may be a little insecure or maybe just impatient with a response like that.

    Honestly, I think you should be true to yourself. If you would be more comfortable dating in the future when you have lost more weight, you should do that. Tell him right now is not a good time to date but maybe he wouldn't mind messaging you or talking until you are ready for a date.

    Love yourself first and everyone else second. :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Honestly, the way he worded his message is weird. Like he wanted to set you up but then switched and was like "oh date me." That's kinda weird.
  • Metamorphasis555
    Metamorphasis555 Posts: 224
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    Thank you very much for your input everyone. I really appreciate it!
  • janograf
    janograf Posts: 1
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    i never turn down a date unless i'm positively not interested. you will either:
    a) find no chemistry between the two of you
    b) go on more dates but realize it's not going to work out
    c) discover a really decent guy who's into you, too

    unless he's a psychotic creepy stalker, there's nothing to lose! i've been on numerous blind dates. the bad ones could make funny "horror" stories to tell your friends, and sometimes you even make a good friend out of the ones that don't work out. i have yet to find "c", and until i do, i'm just going to experience and learn more about the whole dating process (without becoming jaded, of course). i hope this helps you!
  • Dilfster
    Dilfster Posts: 434
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    for what its worth im a guy and thought his reaction was standoffish and not cool.
  • jamilla77
    jamilla77 Posts: 5
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    The right person does not always come along when you are ready, or when it is convenient. Have faith in yourself that you can manage your health, and date a possibly great guy, at the same time.
    Isn't that the truth! Ok...I am not on facebook but do know exactly where you are coming from! I am the exact same way! While it does seem to be a "what have you got to lose, go out with him" it's not that easy. However, you can never have too many friends and maybe that is what he will end up being! Maybe more...you will have to meet him to know for sure. I had a friend that wanted me to meet her brother-in-law. I was in NO mental state to try and date anyone...I'm too fat, I'm not pretty, No one could love me (or even like me) the way I am now. I kept telling her no, no, no. Then after a few months of her harrassing me about it. I decided that "you can never have too many friends and since I know the rest of the family and hang out with them often, why not at least meet him...I woulda eventually anyway, why not on my own terms. So I did, she was just thrilled! Little did I know that 7 months later we would be married. I had been single for more than 4 years when I met my husband. I had sworn off men (relationships) all together. I don't regret 1 day of our 5 year relationship! I still feel the same way about myself some days, but he loves me for who I am not what I look like!
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    Be honest, first if you're not ready why are you on the dating sites? And no reason not to say that you are concentrating on getting in shape/losing weight before you jump in to dating. Would be rather telling to get his response to that right?

    She did mention it was Facebook...I have "Facebook friends" that I've gotten to know online through other friends or mutual interests, but we have not actually met in person...a little different than the dating sites... ;)

    Der, Ok I missed that somehow.

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