To Scared to Date

tania2287

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

Metamorphasis555

Not much advice from me at the moment but just wanted to say I can totally relate to how you're feeling. ((HUGS))

woou

Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

It's going to be difficult finding someone who likes you for you, if you're too afraid to show them who you are. :flowerforyou:

tania2287

It's going to be difficult finding someone who likes you for you, if you're too afraid to show them who you are.


So true...

TheGoblinRoad

Please read this! It might help:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/TheGoblinRoad/view/this-one-is-for-all-the-ladies-out-there-216745

tania2287

Please read this! It might help:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/TheGoblinRoad/view/this-one-is-for-all-the-ladies-out-there-216745

I just which it was true. As l have been single now for 6 years now with not even one date in the last 6 years. I will still hold my head up high and hope there is that special someone out there who will find me beautiful...

KJVBear33

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

From your picture I see a vibrant (sp?), young, intelligent, and healthy individual........you are an awesome woman and are very strong!! Don't be afraid to date........don't be afraid to take that chance.........take it from someone who knows what you are going through and understands totally!! When I was in my school years.........from about middle school on.........guys used to make fun of me because of my weight constantly. It took a very nice guy.......one who I count as a brother and one whose family I count as my own.........to get me through and to realize not all guys will cut me down like that.

I remember my Mom telling me that the reason why people cut me down is to boost their self esteem, so I thought........what a lowly existence! To be so down and out that you have to do something negative to someone else in order to feel better about yourself.........in the end, I learned to pity those poor creatures. And also grown to understand that they aren't worth the dirt on my shoes if thats how they are going to be.

YOU ARE NOT FAT AND YOU ARE NOT..........I repeat, NOT.........UGLY!!! Like I said, from your picture you look VERY beautiful!!! Just show them the type of person you really are..........shine within, and you will certainly shine that awesome personality outwardly!!

And honestly.........if a guy looks at you like you just described.......F**k him. He's not worthy of such a fine person as yourself!! AND there are plenty of guys who WILL think of you the way I just described. We all have issues, one way or another, to really truly love someone you've got to know them inside and out...........not just from looks.

Hope I helped!! Hugs to you!!

tania2287

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

From your picture I see a vibrant (sp?), young, intelligent, and healthy individual........you are an awesome woman and are very strong!! Don't be afraid to date........don't be afraid to take that chance.........take it from someone who knows what you are going through and understands totally!! When I was in my school years.........from about middle school on.........guys used to make fun of me because of my weight constantly. It took a very nice guy.......one who I count as a brother and one whose family I count as my own.........to get me through and to realize not all guys will cut me down like that.

I remember my Mom telling me that the reason why people cut me down is to boost their self esteem, so I thought........what a lowly existence! To be so down and out that you have to do something negative to someone else in order to feel better about yourself.........in the end, I learned to pity those poor creatures. And also grown to understand that they aren't worth the dirt on my shoes if thats how they are going to be.

YOU ARE NOT FAT AND YOU ARE NOT..........I repeat, NOT.........UGLY!!! Like I said, from your picture you look VERY beautiful!!! Just show them the type of person you really are..........shine within, and you will certainly shine that awesome personality outwardly!!

And honestly.........if a guy looks at you like you just described.......F**k him. He's not worthy of such a fine person as yourself!! AND there are plenty of guys who WILL think of you the way I just described. We all have issues, one way or another, to really truly love someone you've got to know them inside and out...........not just from looks.

Hope I helped!! Hugs to you!!

WOW what can l say but thanks for that...

bcc112986

You are beautiful.

You should first love and enjoy yourself and then look for someone else to love and enjoy. A book that really helped me to find self-love was Lust, Love & Faking It by Jenny McCarthy.

I hope the best for you. Remember you are important.

KJVBear33

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

From your picture I see a vibrant (sp?), young, intelligent, and healthy individual........you are an awesome woman and are very strong!! Don't be afraid to date........don't be afraid to take that chance.........take it from someone who knows what you are going through and understands totally!! When I was in my school years.........from about middle school on.........guys used to make fun of me because of my weight constantly. It took a very nice guy.......one who I count as a brother and one whose family I count as my own.........to get me through and to realize not all guys will cut me down like that.

I remember my Mom telling me that the reason why people cut me down is to boost their self esteem, so I thought........what a lowly existence! To be so down and out that you have to do something negative to someone else in order to feel better about yourself.........in the end, I learned to pity those poor creatures. And also grown to understand that they aren't worth the dirt on my shoes if thats how they are going to be.

YOU ARE NOT FAT AND YOU ARE NOT..........I repeat, NOT.........UGLY!!! Like I said, from your picture you look VERY beautiful!!! Just show them the type of person you really are..........shine within, and you will certainly shine that awesome personality outwardly!!

And honestly.........if a guy looks at you like you just described.......F**k him. He's not worthy of such a fine person as yourself!! AND there are plenty of guys who WILL think of you the way I just described. We all have issues, one way or another, to really truly love someone you've got to know them inside and out...........not just from looks.

Hope I helped!! Hugs to you!!

WOW what can l say but thanks for that...

No problem......I too want someone special in my life like that..........my way of thinking is that God is just being picky with me cause He doesn't want to just pick anyone because I am special

If you ever need me, I'm here!!

Elzecat

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

From your picture I see a vibrant (sp?), young, intelligent, and healthy individual........you are an awesome woman and are very strong!! Don't be afraid to date........don't be afraid to take that chance.........take it from someone who knows what you are going through and understands totally!! When I was in my school years.........from about middle school on.........guys used to make fun of me because of my weight constantly. It took a very nice guy.......one who I count as a brother and one whose family I count as my own.........to get me through and to realize not all guys will cut me down like that.

I remember my Mom telling me that the reason why people cut me down is to boost their self esteem, so I thought........what a lowly existence! To be so down and out that you have to do something negative to someone else in order to feel better about yourself.........in the end, I learned to pity those poor creatures. And also grown to understand that they aren't worth the dirt on my shoes if thats how they are going to be.

YOU ARE NOT FAT AND YOU ARE NOT..........I repeat, NOT.........UGLY!!! Like I said, from your picture you look VERY beautiful!!! Just show them the type of person you really are..........shine within, and you will certainly shine that awesome personality outwardly!!

And honestly.........if a guy looks at you like you just described.......F**k him. He's not worthy of such a fine person as yourself!! AND there are plenty of guys who WILL think of you the way I just described. We all have issues, one way or another, to really truly love someone you've got to know them inside and out...........not just from looks.

Hope I helped!! Hugs to you!!

This. Totally!

airlily

I am to scared to date due to how fat l am and ugly. I find it hard to look a guy in the eye when l am walking past them or even talk to a guy. Will l ever find that someone who will like me for who l am?

I can completely relate. That's half of the reason why I'm dieting. I know it's not the best reason, and that my mom would just say "If the guy you're with cares that much about your exterior, then he isn't worth it," but really, would you date someone that drank all the time, or smoked like a chimney? I think to myself that my eating is the same thing. Who would want to marry an addict, even if it is just an addiction to eating?

I know how you feel, but you and I have to remember not to beat ourselves up so much. We have to love ourselves for who we are, and change the things that we don't like -- only if they endanger our health.

irisheyes1977

why are you beating yourself like that?? have confidence woman!! hold your head up high you are you...you are beautiful...you are strong and you are independent...look at yourself and say it to your reflection in the mirror daily. Think of all the things and hard roads you have achieved in your life. Don't coward down, always make eye contact...smile...be happy because you are you. people find it easier to go up to others that are confident rather then ones who feel obsolete. there is too much in the world that many miss because of looking at the ground rather then what is in front of them. don't miss out ...life is to short darlin'! enjoy what you have and share it with others. take the bull by the horn and show your colors!! i see beautiful wonderful inspiring in you.

irisheyes1977

and if a guy can't see that...then he is not worth your time and keep smiling knowing that you will be found by your prince

Elzecat

My immediate thought when I read your comment about feeling "fat and ugly" was how much I can relate...and also, something a friend said to me once: "Would you say the mean things you say about yourself...to your best friend? If not...don't say them to yourself." Treat yourself as you would treat others...you deserve that kindness.

It's really hard to change that negative mindset, it's an ongoing process for me. But you can do it!

Trust me, I haven't dated seriously in EIGHT YEARS...I am just recently starting to work on it...and it is very scary...but

We can do this.

Elzecat

Please read this! It might help:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/TheGoblinRoad/view/this-one-is-for-all-the-ladies-out-there-216745

Thank you for that. It is great to hear an opinion from the male point of view.

Your wife knows how lucky she is, right? Of course she does

KJVBear33

My immediate thought when I read your comment about feeling "fat and ugly" was how much I can relate...and also, something a friend said to me once: "Would you say the mean things you say about yourself...to your best friend? If not...don't say them to yourself." Treat yourself as you would treat others...you deserve that kindness.

It's really hard to change that negative mindset, it's an ongoing process for me. But you can do it!

Trust me, I haven't dated seriously in EIGHT YEARS...I am just recently starting to work on it...and it is very scary...but

We can do this.

For me, I haven't dated since college.........AND I have only been with only one guy.........and he turned out to be not the right one cause he didn't really put in much effort........I was always the one to invite him to come down, yet he wouldn't hardly make a move to ask if he could come down to see me from where he lived........ugh.

And its worse now cause I really only do have two friends whom I talk to constantly, but they are always busy and never really good at responding cause they're jobs and life get in the way sometimes........yet they always think of me and send me some texts every now and again. And I see one every Friday at least.........

I'd like to meet someone through a friend..........and not through a dating site, that to me is just plain scary.........

christine24t

I've been on one date before, and never kissed a guy...so yeah I'm scared to date too! You're not alone!

ryansgram

Tania, you are beautiful! Don't call yourself fat and ugly. You have to have confidence in yourself. Hold your head up high, look in the mirror and say to yourself "I am beautiful inside and out". And if someone doesn't like you for who you are then they aren't worth having.

spapsidero

I agree totally! After I divorced and wanted to have someone new in my life, I used an Internet dating site. Dated 4 men on there before I met my husband. The first man I dated I fell for so hard. He was perfect. Money, good looking, and grown children. Thought I hit the jack pot.

It didn't work out. And to be completely honest, in the end it came down to he couldn't accept my size. It hurt bad. Started think why would anyone ever want me looking like this? I finally decided it was his loss!!! I'm a damn good catch!! 8 months later I met my husband.

One thing mr.wonderful told me that stuck in my brain was that I was sexy and he loved my confidence. That always stuck with my brain and has gotten stronger!!

My husband is the best man I have ever met! He has a heart of gold and really LOVES me for who I am! His love has given me more confidence. I was glad I took the chance of getting hurt again bc I did hit the jackpot this time!!!

Add me as ur friend. I'd love to know how ur journey is going.

La1210

Hey Tania,

I have a question are you scared to date? Or are you unhappy with the way you look? There is no weight class or pretty test that you have to take before dating. Why don't you like the way you look? My mom always told me beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are always our own beholder. You have to learn to love yourself and like looking at yourself before you expect someone else to do the same. First start by looking at yourself in the mirror every morning, SMILE at yourself!!! It will warm your soul, seriously. You are beautiful inside and out.

HatFullOfCrazy

Coming from a background of very low self-esteem myself, I have a suggestion for you.

Get yourself a journal and EVERY DAY write at least ONE positive thing about yourself. It can be anything from the very simple to the very complicated. Small accomplishments, large accomplishments, anything so long as it is POSITIVE. For example:

I have kind eyes
I look nice in blue
today I chose cool whip & fruit instead of ice cream. I felt proud for making a smart decision

Seriously even simple positive thoughts can begin to change your thought patterns. If it is difficult to do this about yourself, think of a person you really don't like (at work maybe) and every day write something positive about them. It will not always be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it to break free from that negative cycle.

You are beautiful and strong and worthy of love. You deserve to be happy.
Just remember happiness does not always come in the package that you expect.
Best of luck to you!

pa_jorg

I'm just getting back into dating after a long term relationship. It's definitely scary! Just keep working on yourself through MFP and it will hopefully increase your confidence.