How many of you have dismissive family members?

wjranch

I also have finally figured out this little tidbit........ They (the haters) will sabotage your efforts, undermine your confidence and derail your drive because..... They FEAR your SUCCESS!! Yes... that's the truth. If YOU can succeed at something so drastically difficult...what then happens to THEIR own excuses that stop them from making changes???

I look at these people now, and I actually feel alittle sad for them. They are their own worst enemies.... but, they dont have to become yours too!

CyberEd312

Only one thing you need to do and that is "Lead by Example" everything else does not matter.... You have the most important person standing my your side (Your Wife) as do I beyond that I just get up everyday and do everything that I can do to be successful for that particular day and then I get up and do it again tomorrow....... Good Luck to you........

JanetLM73

I don't have any in-laws, but my hubby is awesome and so are my parents....even if they were not supportive, I would just keep going and not even mention it. Beside, I have all my friends on here that get it :-)

Elizabeth_C34

I use them as incentive to prove them wrong.

fiberartist219

My dad made fun of me for getting a gym membership when my husband has a bowflex right here at home.

I ignored him. I know it's easier said than done, but I've always had a rocky relationship with my parents so it makes it easier for me to dismiss what they have to say. I'm a mean daughter, but sometimes not caring about what anyone says is the best thing I can do for myself.

Just keep doing what you know is right for your body and eventually they will catch on that you are serious and successful. Even if they don't, you know what is best for yourself. You're an adult and you don't need anyone's permission to get a trainer or a gym membership. Who cares how you exercise? Just the fact that you are doing it is good enough.

I eventually cancelled my gym membership and now I do DVDs at home. I still don't use the bowflex. My tastes for exercise change with the direction of the wind, but hey, I'm working out and that's all that matters. It does not matter at all how much money I spend on it or what kind of crap I clutter up my house with as long as I am not going into debt or hoarding. I love doing yoga one day, weight lifting the next, and then doing a cardio routine another day. No one is allowed to tell me what I can or cannot do... well, they can tell me anything, but I don't have to listen.

saragato

I can't say I've experienced it but I know my female cousin has both with weight loss and smoking. She's not heavy but it's not going to hurt her to lose 30 or so pounds if and when she does. She's been on a million diets, even tried a weight loss clinic, but she always puts the weight back on because she stresses out from work or her kid or bills and goes out and drinks and eats. Same with her smoking, she's tried quitting and the longest she lasted was through her pregnancy and of course she's scared of the weight gain when she quits.

My family's close, but a lot of that 'closeness' is gossip or talking about people behind each other's backs. And while I don't hold a grand lot of respect for my cousin for certain things she does continuously, I did get her one of those electronic cigarettes for Christmas to help her quit and when I've lost more I'm going to help her with her weight loss too. Most of the family believes she's all talk or she gives up too easily, but those are the family members that don't know what it's like to have depression or anything that's not a physical ailment. Being bipolar and knowing the mood problems I see where she's coming from and so I try and do my part.

If people aren't going to have your back, be reliable for anything, or are simply going to roll their eyes at you, you don't need them. Family or not, you don't need them. Personally I'd rather have no family than one that doesn't believe in me or actually wants me to succeed. I kicked my best friend of 9 years to the curb for that behavior, I'll kick family members out the same way too.

flsl

Its really hard when people not encouraging.

I think some people mean well but just say the wrong thing.

Others might be feeling inadequate and compare themselves negatively to you so then think two wrongs make a right and say mean things. V important to have some support either here or somewhere esp as u try to get into a rhythm. Once you know u can do it you have the most important person on board!

MrsMuffinRun

Just don't discuss it with them at all. You are doing it for you, not them. Steer onto other topics - they are only going to wind you up. I know a few people like that and I don't discuss at all, just talk about anything but.

elizabeth51608

This is gonna sound harsh but it's meant to be encouraging.... I don't blame my family members for feeling that way. I have yo-yo dieted for years, since I was a teenager, lose, gain, lose gain... my parents spent so much money on this diet, that program, etc. and now my husband has allowed me to continue on that path as well.

This past October I realized that there is no magic cure for being fat. Eating salad for 2 weeks and then binging will not help me lose 100 pounds. So I too joined a gym, got a personal trainer, and started tracking what I eat. And not just calories. Fats, carbs, sugars, fibers, and protein.

October 25, 2011 was day 1. I weighed 245 pounds and 5 minutes on the elliptical left me feeling like I was going to DIE. Everyone thought I would give up as I have in the past. My parents called every so often to casually ask if I was still going, or if I had lost any weight. My husband wisely kept his mouth shut...lol!

Today is February 26--4 months later, I weigh 224 pounds. I just got back from going to the gym for cardio. I did 6.5 miles on the elliptical in 45:33 and burned over 700 calories. I did not stop once, and I don't feel like I'm going to die. In fact, I feel amazing after I leave the gym. I feel empowered and strong.

Some people will tell you that 20 pounds in 4 months isn't that much, or will continue to be dismissive---but you can slowly prove them wrong. You can't really dwell on their actions. Focus on your own.

Best wishes on your journey of developing a healthy lifestyle!!!

harryandsally

I guess I have a different take on the "support" topic. Nobody else stuffed the food into my mouth that allowed me to gain the weight, so I don't expect their support in my efforts to undo the damage. It's not their job. It's nice if they offer it, but it's not something they owe me and I'm not going to be disappointed if I don't get it. I have friends who are going on a diet every other week and "this time it's going to be different." Say it often enough and people have reason to believe your words are empty.

Consequently, I keep my weight loss efforts pretty quiet. I'm not doing it for the kudos or for anybody else's benefit. My support system is my "fat jeans" that I get to laugh at, the number on that scale and my overall health. Anything else is fluff.