Support group = TOTAL DIET SABATOGE

kcobrien525

Soooo... I'm writing this post because something is really getting under my skin. Since I had my baby and lost some weight for the past couple months I've been trying to reach my goal of 140. I am 165 now. My husband works at a pizza place and gets half off whatever he wants and lots of times he gets free pizza. WE have a had multiple conversations and understanding about eating healthy and not bringing home junk. I'm in charge of the grocery shopping and every time I go he seems to go out later at night and buy a bunch junk( ice cream, frozen fried food,beer, wine, etc.) What I want to know is how can I get him to be healthy with me, even though he already says he wants to? Because its beginning to discourage me. He says he's behind me all the way, but I feel like he's sabotaging me. I asked him one night if he was trying to keep me thick and he replied, "yes, I like my women big" but then again we were looking at old photos and he said he was most attracted to me when I was around 135. Why is not helping me get back there?? What should I do?

lmalaschak

Wow. This is a tough one. I think at this point you are simply more motivated than he is. He wants to get healthy, sure, but he is not yet motivated to do the necessary work. You are. I think you kind of have to back off at times like that and do your thing. Avoid (if you can) becoming angry with him for bringing the junk food in the house, or for saying he's going to eat well but not doing it. Instead, YOU stick to YOUR healthy eating and exercise plan. Always invite him to exercise with you but don't make a big deal out of it if he says no thanks. If he brings home food you shouldn't have, try to have some healthy things in the house for you to fall back on instead, as hard as that might be. If he is serious about wanting to help and/or wanting to get healthy himself, eventually he'll see that you are not kidding, and the combination of your perseverance and your results might be just the little extra bit of motivation he needs. He has to want to do it...there's no way to bully one's spouse into being motivated to lose weight! Rely on your friends here for the support you may not be getting enough of from him. This way, you can stay positive in your marriage relationship (because you won't be fighting about it) but you can still keep going on your weight loss plan. You can do it!

IvoryParchment

Is there an organization in your town to distribute those pizzas to people who are hungry? There's one in my town that collects food from restaurants and distributes it to homeless shelters and soup kitchens, and has insurance so the restaurants don't have liability if someone claims they got sick from the food. Or maybe your church knows someone who is struggling right now but doesn't want to let people know. If he dropped off the pizza with the minister for that person to pick up, it wouldn't go to waste, and you wouldn't get fat.

nammer79

Yeah it might just be hard for him to change his habbits plus im sure he's around pizza all day. This has to tempt him a bit more than it would you since you don't work there. I would just say ask him to eat it at work or bring it to a friends house once in a while when he feels the need to veg out on pizza. The junk food thing is a hard one I'm not at the point to where I'd kill for some blue bell ice cream but I'd mug someone if I could get away with it and gain no cals.

ilookthetype

He's a grown man and has as much a right to eat the foods he wants as you do. Don't eat the food he brings back, problem solved.

NeuroticVirgo

I would just tell him not to bring it home. That if he doesn't want to do ti with you, the least he could do is support you, and eat his pizza at work. And if he brings anything home (pizza, ice cream, beer etc)...I'd throw them in the trash. But I'm a ***** like that, and would feel he deserved it for not being supportive.

Acg67

Soooo... I'm writing this post because something is really getting under my skin. Since I had my baby and lost some weight for the past couple months I've been trying to reach my goal of 140. I am 165 now. My husband works at a pizza place and gets half off whatever he wants and lots of times he gets free pizza. WE have a had multiple conversations and understanding about eating healthy and not bringing home junk. I'm in charge of the grocery shopping and every time I go he seems to go out later at night and buy a bunch junk( ice cream, frozen fried food,beer, wine, etc.) What I want to know is how can I get him to be healthy with me, even though he already says he wants to? Because its beginning to discourage me. He says he's behind me all the way, but I feel like he's sabotaging me. I asked him one night if he was trying to keep me thick and he replied, "yes, I like my women big" but then again we were looking at old photos and he said he was most attracted to me when I was around 135. Why is not helping me get back there?? What should I do?

You do know it's possible to consume all the "bad" foods you listed and still be perfectly healthy, right?

And is he making you eat all this stuff or you're using your own free will and eating it? Maybe save some cals each day and eat some of the "bad stuff" he brings home, problem solved

cjones0992

I know it can be hard, but just focus on what you are eating. I live in a house with 5 family members, and they don't diet. I just buy my own food and stick to my diet as much as possible. If he sees you doing that, maybe he will be more inclined to eat healthy with you, and maybe not. It's all about will power.

taunto

I think he misses his taste he gets from junk food. Also, he's possibly not really ready (despite him saying he is) to go on a weight loss lifestyle. Try changing the menu at your house. Make more exciting food (Healthy dont have to be bland and boring). Make him feel full on healthy food so he dont have to go outside and get junk food just for his taste fix.

ericgAU

I went threw the same thing with my wife. i dont believe she was sabotaging my weight loss efforts but she was certainly making it extremely difficult. After a while she came around. We have a pretty strict budget so there is no provision for `extra food' anyways. i guess the only one other thing that will change his behaviour is seeing you change into a fitter better person. Then he may change his ways.

memega

Take him to a complete physical including a blood test for lipid profile. Usually these are an eye opener. With the results, work the new baby angle and the obvious need for you 'both' to be healthy and fit in the coming years!

koureur

@Ivory: Great ideas!

ericgAU

Take him to a complete physical including a blood test for lipid profile. Usually these are an eye opener. With the results, work the new baby angle and the obvious need for you 'both' to be healthy and fit in the coming years!

Couldnt agree more. This was what spurred me into action a year in a bit ago. You cant hide from the reality of sitting in front of your doctor and him reading through your blood test results telling you that if you dont change your ways, heart disease, diabetes and other health conditions are a given.

lacroyx

Soooo... I'm writing this post because something is really getting under my skin. Since I had my baby and lost some weight for the past couple months I've been trying to reach my goal of 140. I am 165 now. My husband works at a pizza place and gets half off whatever he wants and lots of times he gets free pizza. WE have a had multiple conversations and understanding about eating healthy and not bringing home junk. I'm in charge of the grocery shopping and every time I go he seems to go out later at night and buy a bunch junk( ice cream, frozen fried food,beer, wine, etc.) What I want to know is how can I get him to be healthy with me, even though he already says he wants to? Because its beginning to discourage me. He says he's behind me all the way, but I feel like he's sabotaging me. I asked him one night if he was trying to keep me thick and he replied, "yes, I like my women big" but then again we were looking at old photos and he said he was most attracted to me when I was around 135. Why is not helping me get back there?? What should I do?

You do know it's possible to consume all the "bad" foods you listed and still be perfectly healthy, right?

And is he making you eat all this stuff or you're using your own free will and eating it? Maybe save some cals each day and eat some of the "bad stuff" he brings home, problem solved

I agree with this. Alot of people I know do the diet thing, super clean 24/7/365, avoid all kinds of junk and they fail. I've learned not to restrict anything but have it in moderation and within your calorie goal intake.

hannahpage1991

at the end of the day your husband will choose for himself his diet and even if he says and feels that he wants to eat healthily, that first step in really making a change can be a hard one. I understand that the people you keep around you, and how they eat, affects your eating habits as well. But instead of trying to emphasize and re-emphasize to him that you should be eating healthier as a family, maybe you should turn to him and say "you know what, I'll do this myself if you're with me on it." and show him the benefits of you getting into a healthier swing of life. Let him come to terms with it on his own and come around to your way of thinking. You can't force him. Just like you can't force a partner or friend to quit smoking. The best you can do is make the decision for yourself and show him your strength, independence and willpower. And then hopefully he will join in on it

I hope that all goes well for you and your child/children enjoy the wonderful healthy example set by their strong mother

All the best to you and your family
Hannah
xxx