Mom Trouble

hselby87

I have been fairly overweight all my life and all my life my mom has told me that I need to lose weight. Not just a once in a while thing, an every single day thing.

Well, recently I made the decision on my own, without anyone pushing me and I have been doing great.

Here is the trouble. My mom, well, she has gotten fat. She has gained about 30 pounds since I was a kid. Now that I am losing weight, she is not happy for me at all and will actually make snide comments. I think she wants to be positive, but she is having her own self esteem issues.

Here is my problem. It is starting to wear on me so much that I don't want to be around her anymore. I feel bad about this, but I want to hear how proud of me she is, not "Oh shut up, I don't need to hear about your weight every day." I really don't try to talk about it every day, but when I see a 4 pound loss in 1 week, I get excited! What should I do? Just stop talking about it around her all together?

rumsuck8

WOW. that is alot going on. First of all congrats on your success!! It does sound like mom is having a tough time of it herself right now. I think you have the power to be patient and thoughtful of her, despite the nagging she did to you in earlier years. Use Us, here on MFP to brag, complain, inquire etc. That is what we are all here for. Many of us have been where you are. it is YOUR journey, mom has her own. Carry on!!

Rayman79

I understand (as many here will) what you are going through. Unfortunately many people are not emotionaly mature enough to be truly happy for others about something they are lacking themselves. Think a poor person being 'truly' happy for someone who won lotto, or a long term unemployed person being truly happy for another person getting a big promotion at work.

Unfortunately I think you must accept this situation for what it is, and understand that (at the moment) your mom does not have the emotional tools to put aside her own feelings of dissapointment and lack of self-esteem to give you the support and encouragement you need.

I am sure that you ultimately know you are taking these life-changing steps for you. As nice as it is to have positive reinforcement from others, you don't NEED that to succeed in your personal journey. Be patient, and in time your mom is likely to be able to come to terms with her own personal situation, and understand the accomplishments you have made.

In the mean time please be patient, and understand that it is not really your mom's choice to act this way at the moment, she just needs time to process the situation and come to terms.

P.S. There is always plenty of support from people here in this community in the meantime. You have done a great job!!! :flowerforyou:

hselby87

Thank you both! I will just stick to mfp from now on. I get GREAT help from here!

LauraLovesCamp

Wow, do we have the same mother? You know, it's hard the day you realize that your parents aren't perfect on the golden pedestal. They are people too. Jealously isn't an easy emotion to display. I think you are doing amazing. And I also think you're right in just not talking about it with her anymore. Just keep shrinking down and melting away and she'll come around, when it's on her terms. Find other people to confide in, like us! And your friends! Brag all day long on Facebook! But don't open a can of worms where they were expecting cheetos.