Unsupportive family

hollythehutt

Does anyone else have issues with their family disapproving of their weight loss endeavours? I'm 18, but I'm still in upper sixth (senior year? I'm not familiar with US school), and I have to live with my parents until I go to university. My parents insist that I eat whatever they make, and I have virtually no control over what that is.

Today, my mother made apple crumble. I politely declined. She replied with, "is this you trying to lose weight? You don't need to lose weight! You're obsessed with your weight! It's boring that all you ever talk about in relation to food is your weight!", and so on ad nauseam. I gave in and accepted a small serving, but asked for no cream. She either didn't hear or pretended not to hear, and "helpfully" poured on masses of cream. She also offered ice cream; I said that I'd given up ice cream, and she reacted as if it was a personal affront; when I explained why I didn't want to take in that many empty calories, she acted as if it was a major health concern that I didn't want to eat ice cream, then embarked on a fallacious, but loud, tirade about how ice cream isn't fattening.

This wasn't the first time - even this morning she was trying to convince me to eat some bread, even when I'd eaten too much yoghurt - and my father and brother do it too, albeit not quite so insistently. Has anyone else had similar issues? How do you eat healthily without annoying, boring, or offending your family? How do you convince a paranoid mother that you're not ill if you don't want to eat something ridiculously unhealthy?

Nicoleo1

Holly! I want to say first of all, good for you for making changes to your diet for the better. What you do and don't do now will impact your life forever. It can never be unhealthy to not eat extra sweets and dessert.
From a mom's point of view though, I am a little worried about your perception of yourself. If you think you have 10lbs to lose you are not disgustingly fat as your profile said. When I look at the photo of yourself (It's you isn't it?) I see a young woman with beautiful cheek bones and not a lot of extra fat on her face, so it's probably the same for your body.
Is it possible that your family is correct in thinking that you don't need to lose weight? I can imagine swinging exactly the other way if my beautiful daughter said to me that she was fat and was on any sort of diet. Now, if she declined dessert or extra servings I wouldn't push her to eat more, but if you are active and reducing calories too drastically you will be doing yourself harm.
Stop and look at yourself in a mirror. Is your hair shiny? Are your eyes bright? That's a sign of health. Do your knees and elbows seem too big for your legs and arms? You may be too thin if that's the case. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that all women are only beautiful if they are a perfect movie star size 0. It's not true -people come in all shapes and sizes and I'll bet that your family doesn't seem supportive because you are beautiful the way you are.
Maybe talk to your mom about it or to a doctor to see what he/she thinks of your overall health.
Make healthful choices and stay active. It's okay to splurge now and again on desserts, just be mindful.

SafireBleu

I agree you might need to talk to a dr with your mother present about your health and weight. If your dr agrees it is an issue then she might feel better about you not having what she makes and she might even be willing to make more healthy foods. However looking at your food diary, it looks like you are not eating nearly enough calories to sustain your body and you need to eat more calories. You should be eating at least 1200 calories a day and if you exercises and burn 400 calories then you need to eat those calories back. You should net 1200 calories a day. Your mother might be reacting to what she sees as a problem. If you can get your dr to back you up and agree to do it in a healthy manner I am sure your family will help you on your journey.