SQUATTER IN MY EFFING LIVING ROOM

jcpmoore

There actually are some calmer ways to handle this. I've been there and had freeloading friends of my DH that stuck around longer than they should have.

Step 1: You *have* to talk to your husband. This has to be a calm discussion in which you both discuss what's happening. You need to understand his point of view of helping out a friend. And he needs to understand yours-that it is, at best, an incredibly awkward situation and, at worst, very troublesome.

Step 2: Consider laying down some rules with the friend. Such as- no guests without express permission, you must put in x number of applications for housing or jobs per day, you will do x amount of cleaning each day, responsible for own groceries, etc.

Step 3: Lay down a definite end date. This is crucial. No matter how much your husband wants to help your friend, this has to be laid down now. Whether it's 1 week, 2 weeks, or 1 month, it needs to be laid down firmly. He can stay for this long, no longer, no matter what. With our last house guest we gave him a contingency: You can stay until x date unless you have a job by then. If so, you can stretch until y date to save up for security deposit. That's up to you if want something like that. With the guy in your living room, I don't recommend it.

In the meantime, lay out a daily schedule to which he will adhere. That includes when you and the child will use the living room for YOUR needs. Regardless of when he chooses to fall asleep, he'll need to vacate during that time. Whether he's cleaning the house, cooking his breakfast, job searching, or shoveling snow, he's out of the room.

I hope this helps you. This kind of structure did wonders for us. Remember, it starts with talking to your husband. He really needs to know where you stand.

TonyL68

Tell your husband you think his friend has the hots for you.


Sssssssssssssssssssee ya!

flong1975

This is the same situation my sister was in when our older sister moved in with her. Younger sis had to deal with her husband complaining about the older one who was basically freeloading too. After about a month, younger sis could not take the stress.... Younger sis would eventually start to talk loudly on the phone, husband made comments out load but it was not until older sis was asked flat out how long she planned on staying did the truth come out- 6 months to a year! Oh hell no, they gave her another month to find a place... you know what happened? She moved out by the end of the week!

DeenieWeenie

Tell your husband you think his friend has the hots for you.


Sssssssssssssssssssee ya!

:laugh: I thought of that too! Might cause major issues though! lol

ruqayyahsmum

the longer freeloaders stay the harder it is to get rid of them

THIS!

renroh0

the longer freeloaders stay the harder it is to get rid of them

THIS!

And this freeloader has been staying for an astounding *GASP* three days.

Best advice to the TC: Show some respect for your husband. Obviously if this was about his stuff being on your treadmill, you'd just tell him to move his damn stuff. This really has more to do with the situation reminding you that the world doesn't revolve around you. This guy isn't on vacation, he's in a tough spot and he's an invited guest.

Do I have to ask about whether you've been courteous to this guy in the past? If you had, you could probably just talk to the guy and find a way to peacefully coexist until he wears out his welcome (which he obviously hasn't with the person who invited him). However, since you likely decided to start trouble with this guy as soon as he got there or earlier, compromise isn't an option.

So your choices are A) Develop some dignity and personal responsibility as a person and you'll find that your workouts are entirely unimpeded or Lay down the law with your husband and remind him there's only room for ONE freeloader at this house (you).

lissalawson

Worse than that, what is your husband doing moving someone in without you agreeing first. They might both have to go.

DatEpicChick

the longer freeloaders stay the harder it is to get rid of them

THIS!

And this freeloader has been staying for an astounding *GASP* three days.

Best advice to the TC: Show some respect for your husband. Obviously if this was about his stuff being on your treadmill, you'd just tell him to move his damn stuff. This really has more to do with the situation reminding you that the world doesn't revolve around you. This guy isn't on vacation, he's in a tough spot and he's an invited guest.

Do I have to ask about whether you've been courteous to this guy in the past? If you had, you could probably just talk to the guy and find a way to peacefully coexist until he wears out his welcome (which he obviously hasn't with the person who invited him). However, since you likely decided to start trouble with this guy as soon as he got there or earlier, compromise isn't an option.

So your choices are A) Develop some dignity and personal responsibility as a person and you'll find that your workouts are entirely unimpeded or Lay down the law with your husband and remind him there's only room for ONE freeloader at this house (you).

thank you for being a complete ****, but i'm pretty sure if you met this guy or if he was laying around YOUR living room all day you would feel different. He's a complete passive ****, hes rude and he thinks HE knows better than everyone. I'm not saying 3 days is killing me, but i am saying that living with someone who sleeps ALL EFFING DAY when i am trying to spend time with my daughter is difficult. and you DONT even know me, so how am i a freeloader?

i clean the house, make the meals, take care of the baby (day and night), plus i do preschool with her AND i'm a full time college student, so i dont think i qualify as a freeloader, but thanks for your astoundingly rude post, next time you should just start your post with "I'm a complete a44hole, but this is what i think..."

DatEpicChick

he has some serious issues, which is why i find it hard to talk to him about anything, besides the fact that he is a jerk, his father was murdered when he was a kid and his mother went to jail for like 15 years for drug trafficking, so he doesnt bond with ANYONE... i honestly dont know how him and my husband have been friends for so long...

my husband knows how i feel, but i think he is trying to do the right thing and do right by his friend because he knows that the guy would do the same for him, but i cannot stand planning my schedule around him. I havent lived with anyone but my husband and our little girl for so long, and when he stays up all night and sleeps all day it makes it difficult to do anything....

appartently he will moving out 'on the 16th or the end of next month'.... but there is no effing way he is living in our living room for a month....

he needs to go live with other people, so yea, my husband and i will be talking tonight and i will let you all know how it goes, but ONE night is not about to turn into ONE month... if we had a spare room it would be different, but we dont, and its not.

kit_katty

my husband knows how i feel, but i think he is trying to do the right thing and do right by his friend because he knows that the guy would do the same for him, but i cannot stand planning my schedule around him. I havent lived with anyone but my husband and our little girl for so long, and when he stays up all night and sleeps all day it makes it difficult to do anything....

I would also point out that this is a total lack of courtesy, he knows your situation, he knows that normal people sleep during the day yet he's disrupting your schedule. If nothing else, your husband should talk to him about that and either way you should just go about your day as usual. Even if he wakes up.

DatEpicChick

HE MOVED OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
:laugh:

scapez

Yeah! And might I add total douchbaggery comment from @renroh. Sheesh.

terrellc1

I would get some early morning vacuuming going on. Then make some loud blender smoothies for breakfast. Have your 1 year old play with pots and pans and a wooden spoon.

Sounds like you could also use some alone time away from this guy who is intruding upon your routine...so maybe load the kiddo up and head to a mall or something and just do some heavy walking and stroller pushing.

MindyG150

Glad to hear he has moved on, I hope he finds a better life for himself.

honeysprinkles

the longer freeloaders stay the harder it is to get rid of them

THIS!

And this freeloader has been staying for an astounding *GASP* three days.

Best advice to the TC: Show some respect for your husband. Obviously if this was about his stuff being on your treadmill, you'd just tell him to move his damn stuff. This really has more to do with the situation reminding you that the world doesn't revolve around you. This guy isn't on vacation, he's in a tough spot and he's an invited guest.

Do I have to ask about whether you've been courteous to this guy in the past? If you had, you could probably just talk to the guy and find a way to peacefully coexist until he wears out his welcome (which he obviously hasn't with the person who invited him). However, since you likely decided to start trouble with this guy as soon as he got there or earlier, compromise isn't an option.

So your choices are A) Develop some dignity and personal responsibility as a person and you'll find that your workouts are entirely unimpeded or Lay down the law with your husband and remind him there's only room for ONE freeloader at this house (you).

Wow, that was rude. If you're a guest at someone's house, it's your responsibility to be courteous. It's rude for him to be up all night and messy. And how is she a free loader in her own house?

Also, her husband should have shown some respect for HER and discussed it with her before letting him move in!

honeysprinkles

Just realized this was a bit old. lol

Dare2Believe

the longer freeloaders stay the harder it is to get rid of them

This. Found out the hard way. My ex husband was letting it happen all the time.